Lex, Deanna, it is a privilege to stand before you today as you commit your lives to one another in the glorious mystery of marriage. In Ephesians 5:31, the apostle repeats the words of God spoken over Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Here are those words: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one-flesh.” These were the words spoken by God over the first man and the first woman, and they are the eternal reality from which we cannot escape and to which every wise man and woman will aspire.
According to this, marriage involves three things. The first is that a man is to leave his father and his mother. This leaving signifies that a man is willing to burden the role of provider and protector for his wife, which in turn establishes a new household in a new generation. Family will continue to be family, but the dynamics are different. A man’s first responsibility is not to his parents or to his siblings, but to his wife.
The second aspect of marriage is cleaving, or “holding fast”. Marriage is not a lighthearted thing. But neither is it only solemn or sobering. In a world that will seek to tear you apart, cleaving will require more than a commitment. It will require passionate endurance from the depths of your souls. When the storms of life come to toss you around like a kite in the wind, it is cleaving that determines whether you will land in each other’s arms or miles apart.
Finally, we are told that the result of leaving and cleaving is One Flesh. Two individuals become one-flesh.
When I think about glorious things, the world “flesh” doesn’t usually come to mind. Even in Scripture, the word flesh is most often used to speak of the seat of mankind’s sinful nature. Flesh as opposed to spirit. Flesh as weak and easily tempted. Flesh as given over to physical cravings as opposed to the self-control required to pursue higher glories. Nevertheless, God ordained that marriage would be the coming together of two people into what He describes as a “one-flesh” relationship.
It may sound like I am changing the subject, but bear with me for a second. The word “flesh” is used in a very positive way on one other occasion in the Scripture, and that is in John 1:14 “And the Word was made flesh”. This is how John describes the Eternal Son becoming man: the Word was made flesh.
Christ did not take on flesh because flesh was glorious. Christ is glorious, and he was not the less glorious because He took on flesh. In fact, John will go on to say “And we beheld His glory”. But certainly the fleshly life of Christ was filled with all sorts of inglorious and common things. Christ had all the indecencies of fleshly life thrust upon him. As a baby, his mother had to do deal with all of the pragmatic aspects of caring for an infant in a world without indoor plumbing, diapers, or wipes. As Christ grew his body changed. As a man, he would wear himself out with work and fall asleep in the middle of a storm on a fishing boat. He would hunger and thirst. The dust of the road and the odors of crowds and first century market places would cling to him as he collapsed into sleep at night. But most fleshly of all, his life was taken from Him in an act of public humiliation and intense physical suffering. And yet, knowing all of this, the glory of heaven came down to live among man in the flesh.
Now I would like to transpose that same thought to your marriage. Marriage is filled with all sorts of inglorious things. It is the most fleshly of all relationships. You cannot hide from the one with whom you are One Flesh. You will see each other at your worst, you will hold each other through sickness, you will walk through failure and disappointment. Through sleepless nights of rocking babies and the inevitable change of growing older, you will experience this marriage “in the flesh”. At first blush, “one flesh” doesn’t look glorious.
But neither did Christ’s birth, and yet the angels sang “glory to God in the highest.” Neither did Christ’s labors, but the heavens opened and the Father said “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” And certainly Christ’s death looked anything but glorious, yet in the ages to come we will be singing the praises of the One who died to take away our sins. Christ is all the more glorious for having taken on flesh. So it will be in your marriage. You would not be more glorious for conquering armies, or curing diseases, or being the first to set foot on another planet. Nothing is more glorious than marriage. Babies are messy, but there is glory in new life. Laboring to care for a family is exhausting, but the glow of glory lights even the humblest meal. Sickness is debilitating, but the hand that holds yours on the sickbed forms a chain that leads back to the hand that still bears nail scars. Some turn away from the humility of this thing called “one flesh” and miss the glory that awaits for those who pursue it, just as some turned away from the cross and missed the glory of the empty tomb three days later. Lex and Deanna, may you pursue the glorious mystery of marriage together for the rest of your lives.
Nathan Writes 