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Who Wrote the Sermon That You Will Hear Tomorrow?

Claudine Gay was only president of Harvard for six months before she had to resign due to charges of plagiarism. One could argue that the politics surrounding her resignation had more to do with her tolerance for antisemitism on Harvard’s campus, but plagiarism was the formal charge. In light of the great anxiety AI is causing the world of academia, there is a certain irony when the heads of academic institutions must face the reckoning of their own “old-school” plagiarism.

The pulpit faces its own challenge in regards to plagiarism. A friend recently told me that he had ChatGPT write a sermon on a specific text in the style of a well know preacher and it came up with a complete manuscript. Every week, thousands of churches live stream their services, meaning that there are thousands of sermons available online. From the president of the SBC to mega-church pastors, accusations of plagiarizing sermons are becoming more and more common. Some have gone so far as to defend this practice.

From one perspective, it’s easy to justify stealing someone else’s sermon. We all preach from the same book. There are a limited number of commentaries on the books that we preach about. So many of us (well, I have) have preached so many bad sermons, sometimes it seems like it would be better to lift a really good sermon from someone else – for the sake of our people, of course. But this brings up the question of why a congregation couldn’t live-stream a well known preacher at their gathering every week and just have church administrators. Essentially, this is what a multi-site church already does.

But every congregation should expect that the main sermon of the week – which for most churches in the United States would be the Sunday morning service– would be an original sermon delivered by their pastor. Occasionally, he might borrow heavily (preferably with attribution) from something that really impacted or inspired him. But his regular practice is to deliver an original sermon.

I take it as axiomatic that a sermon is different than a lecture. A lecture could be lifted from one context and given in another with a minimum of modification and be no better or worse for it. A sermon is given to a particular group of people by a particular person in a particular time and place. Let’s break that down a little bit.

A particular person delivers the sermon, and this person is the Pastor. He has a responsibility for the spiritual well being of his flock. He must know how to exhort, instruct, rebuke, confront, and comfort. Because He will one day give an account not only for himself, but also for the people under his care, He will necessarily speak to his people differently than any other person would speak to those people. A few years ago I commented to a friend that I thought he preached “pastorally”, and his expression revealed that he wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or an insult. I intended it as a compliment, because he is a pastor, and is therefore doing the work of preaching as a pastor should.

The pastor delivers his sermon to a particular people in a particular time and place. He isn’t preaching on a street corner to random pedestrians. The communal life of a church has a rhythm to which the pastor is attuned. He understands the context in which his people are living and this informs the way he delivers his sermon and the application that he chooses to make from the text. Additionally, I believe there is a spiritual mood that a good pastor/preacher can sense as he is delivering his sermon. This may mean that he must stop and further clarify, exhort, or engage his congregation at different points in the sermon. The pastor is uniquely called and equipped to preach to the flock. To simply lift another man’s sermon would be a great disservice to the people listening. But there is more.

John Stott’s “Between Two Worlds -the Challenge of Preaching Today” gives us much to think about just in the title. To preach well, one must know the Word and the people. Since we have already discussed the unique calling of a pastor to know His people, we should (briefly) consider the requirement that a preacher know the Word.

The modern world is filled with knowledge, and much of it is contained online. I recently changed the brakes on my minivan and was greatly helped by YouTube, but I would never claim to be a mechanic on the basis of that one experience. The preacher who lifts his sermon online from someone else may understand what he is saying as he says it, but that falls short of what it means to engage with a biblical text.

I use a lot of yellow notepads, even though I’m a pretty decent typist. I can type faster than I can write with pen and paper. But there is value in the measured pace and tactile nature of hand writing. It takes time and thought for a text to seep into the soul, particularly if life is otherwise busy. I hate the feeling (although I have experienced it far more often that I would like) of walking into the pulpit without being gripped by the sermon text. The old saying is true: the preacher doesn’t have a grip on the text until the text has a grip on him. It is this wrestling with the text that gives the preacher the authority and authenticity to deliver a message. In 1 Thessalonians 2:13, the preaching of the apostles was received as the Word of God itself. (Side note – some pastors might respond that the demand of their ministry is such that it would be impossible to invest time in the text every week. This is an ecclesiastical problem that needs to be addressed but I don’t believe is a valid excuse.)

I can leave a lot of room for grace when it comes to this issue: we don’t need to judge this type of thing as persnickety as a grad school judges a thesis. The heart of the distinction is whether the preacher has invested his own time and energy into understanding and being changed by the text before taking that text to his congregation.

It’s easy to imagine a world in which a church has random members come up on stage and spin a large wheel to determine the sermon text, after which another member spins a wheel to determine the style of the preaching. The holographic musicians play incredibly while ChatGPT organizes the sermon and then and a life-size avatar on a screen preaches it. You know, as I write this I recognize that what seems like satire can turn into reality in a hurry, so now I’m worried that I just gave someone the world’s worst idea. But once you accept that you are better off with your preacher ripping off a better preacher’s sermon, you might as well make that leap. Instead, be content with a preacher who might never deliver a famous sermon, but who weekly does the hard work of laboring between two worlds.

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What Stayed Dead on Sunday Morning

Easter Communion Meditation 2024

Since we are celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior on this Lord’s Day, it’s safe to assume that our communion meditation will have something to do with resurrection. And you would be right, except that I want us to think about what stayed dead on Sunday morning. That’s right, what didn’t come out of that tomb?

Before Jesus died on that terrible cross and was placed in the borrowed tomb, He declared “It is Finished!”, and while we cannot know the exact moment when everything happened, I think it was right around this time that the veil in the temple tore from top to bottom. So in Word and in World we have the evidence that no more sacrifices were needed: Jesus paid it all. So what stayed dead on Sunday morning, when Jesus walked out of the tomb?

Your envy and your hatred stayed dead. That time you took the name of the Lord God in vain, or when you coveted your neighbor’s car, or house, or wife, when you committed adultery – or just cast the adulterous look – these all stayed dead on Sunday morning. When you backtalked your parents, when you violated the Lord’s Day, when you lied about your friend, or your enemy, or a stranger – none of these things survived the cross, and none were resuscitated on Sunday.

The times of being eaten up by jealousy, or consumed by rage, or living for selfish ambition, or when you sowed discord in the church: none of these emerged from the tomb. The proud look, the lying tongue, the hands that are swift to violence, the heart that devises wicked plans, the feet that run to mischief…all these acts met their death in the death of Christ and did not share in the glories of His resurrection. When Jesus came out of the tomb, He was no longer bearing every bitter thought and every wicked deed. These all stayed dead.

Something – or rather Someone! – did come out of that tomb, and with Him came everlasting life, the forgiveness of sins, justification, adoption, sanctification, glorification, and an eternal inheritance incorruptible and un-defilable. These all came out with Jesus, but your sins are gone. You may have lied last week, but that lie died on the cross 2000 years ago. You may be struggling right now. Tempted. Out of control. On the verge. But rest assured my friends, whatever you are struggling with today was dealt with 2000 years ago on an old rugged cross. What stayed dead on Resurrection Sunday were your sins, and the one who bore them to their grave welcomes with you nail pierced hands today.

The Awful Individual

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There is only one kind of person that makes an appropriate individual; the rest of us must be formed into societies. But modernity loves the awful individual, who makes the best consumer and the most manageable citizen – especially for overreaching governments. The awful individual is the aspirational persona in the modern world.

The awful individual is willing to sever social ties for the sake of personal happiness, even the sacred vow of marriage. She will leave behind the children she nursed if she needs to find herself. He will abandon the wife of his youth in a vain attempt to recapture his own youth. He is unencumbered with the complexity of mixed motivation, for his desires live in a self-imposed vacuum that doesn’t take the desires and even needs of others into account. As such, the awful individual is the perfectly predictable subject for all things algorithmic.

The world has baptized this behavior in the pseudo-scientific terminology of self-actualized heroism. Bravery looks strangely like the abandonment of natural social ties. Fierce looks suspiciously like an insensibility to the feelings of others. Vision may be justifiably mistaken for the abandonment of responsibility. But the crescendoing soundtrack behind all of these stories leaves us in no doubt that these individuals that have managed to sacrifice so much, although it tends to be the sacrifice of others, is the protagonist of the tale. Think 99 out of every 100 movies made in this century.

The invasive State idealizes the awful individual, whose allegiance can be bought with legalized weed, ubiquitous pornography, and the promise of student loans forgiven. Which is especially attractive because said loan did not accomplish the purpose of acquiring any meaningful knowledge or skills that could contribute to any productive part of society – as long as it is understood than neither HR nor DEI nor any other department whose job it is to bully people into meaningless politically correct behavior contributes to productivity. The State is more than happy to raise children from birth in the laboratory of child care facilities, which are only getting bigger and cleaner and brighter thanks to relentless taxation, and then usher them into death at the nursing home.

The developer relies on the awful individual, for how many dwelling units would really be needed if people shared living spaces? Divorce multiplies the number of dwelling units needed, and even large families can be included in the profit if it becomes understood that every child needs his own bedroom. But the real money comes through the retirees, who may have a handful of grandkids floating around, but not enough to ground them. The new retirement community for those with a large enough 401k is like a cruise ship: on-site theatres and hair salons and social clubs and eclectic dining that render an offsite visit unnecessary.

The church has adapted to the awful individual, whose personal preferences must not be intruded upon under any circumstance, and whose personal truth must not be challenged in any way, and whose narrative must not be deprived of appropriate levels of victimhood and heroism. A classic mall look with a coffee shop and a gym preach that the church exists to make you the best version of you that you can be. God enters the picture somewhere, sometimes smuggled in surreptitiously and sometimes as the genie whose lamp you have been rubbing via the Jesus love songs that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But there is no bonding agent. No blessed tie that binds. Just the spiritual high of a great band and a great sermon. The individual is left undisturbed in the darkness of the auditorium, where light is only necessary for entering and exiting.

So who is that rare person who is appropriate as an individual? A baby. A baby is, on the one hand, utterly dependent on everyone else, yet at another level she is pure individual. A baby doesn’t care about the sleep schedule of his mom or dad, or the mess he is making with his food, or the countless ways in which he inconveniences those around him. But we forgive this, because he is a baby. We know that one day, we will socialize this awful individual. We will teach her the value of good citizenship, and familial loyalty, and sacrificial membership at a local church. We tolerate the baby’s self centeredness because we know that one day she will not be an awful individual anymore. Imagine a world where that baby remains an awful individual…you won’t have to try hard.

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Your Greatest Moment of Worship

If I asked you when your greatest moment of worship took place, what would your mind run to? Would you think of a particularly powerful moment in a song service when you felt your soul flooded with love for God? That wouldn’t be surprising, since “worship” in the western church is nearly synonymous with music. This is an unfortunate development, and I want to suggest that your greatest moment of worship did not happen while the lights were dimmed and the chords of modern Christianity were being stroked. I might even go farther and suggest that your greatest moment of worship had no concurrent emotional ecstasy. It might have felt downright horrible.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (spiritual worship).  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:1-2

What is worship? Romans 12 tells us that it is sacrifice. Not the sacrifice of a dead animal, because that was all done away with when Christ came. It is a living sacrifice. It is your sacrifice. Worship is the sacrifice of something dear and precious to you for the sake and for the love of Christ. On a regular basis, it is the daily habit of dying to self and living for God. But on occasion, the offering springs from some deep desire or ambition that drives and motivates you at your core, and the giving up of that thing is like Abraham’s offering of Isaac: it is nearly unthinkable.

When you offer that dream, or that ambition, or that choice, up to God, you are slaying any rival to God that lives in your heart. You are declaring that you do not serve God so that He can enable your deepest desires, but you are serving God because He is worthy. Worthy, from the same root as worth-ship.

Often times this turning away from self comes not only at great personal cost, but at the consternation of those around you. Even those who genuinely love you will probably misunderstand what you are doing. You won’t be surrounded by a myriad of other Christ-followers lifting their voices and hands in praise; you will be alone. It’s possible a close friend or a spouse or a pastor who understands the nature of worship will get it. But the majority won’t. They will not applaud. And God has done this on purpose, so that you will not do it for their applause, but for His.

Your greatest moment of worship came when you turned away from your own feelings, desires, and dreams and made a choice to live for God in a very specific way. You sacrificed personal fulfillment in favor of being pleasing to God. Maybe you told the truth and it cost you your career. Maybe you led your family and your wife left you for the world. Maybe you gave up a blossoming ministry to become and anonymous missionary. It could be something that if told in a story would be utterly banal, but in your soul it was as dramatic as Elijah’s battle with the false god on Carmel. And when you did that, you might not have felt the glory roll through your soul. But glorious it was to your God. These are the great worship moments in the life of the believer.

I am not discouraging you from attending the gathering of your local church this morning and lifting your voice in praise to our great God and Savior. That is good and right and He is worthy. But if your life is not a living sacrifice, stirred up feelings on Sunday morning don’t mean much to God. He is looking for those who worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, not in feelings. He wants your life on the altar. He wants your living sacrifice.

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When Troubles Rise

Is there anything we are more likely to misinterpret than trials? Is there anything we are more likely to respond to in an emotionally asymmetric way than adversity? Every instinct we have as human beings is to desire fair weather. Unbridle confidence can spin on a dime and become unbridled anxiety in the face of pain and suffering. We leave our humanity behind and resemble primal beasts that only see in pain a reason to run.

But even a wild creature may be tamed and taught to trust. A dog may sit still while a wound is cleansed if his head rests in the lap of a trusted master. A horse may be calmed by the stroking of a hand that has oft led it and fed it. If we trust God, and we believe that there is some relationship between our trials and our God, then we, too, may learn to rightly interpret our trials.

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;  Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

James 1:2-3

God is sovereign over our trials.

No storm has ever arisen that was outside of His controls. All things are working for good because all things must submit to His wisdom and His purpose. The envy of Joseph’s brothers and the Pharisee’s hatred of Jesus were both evil, and yet were both unwitting agents of a greater Good that brought about a greater redemption. History is not being made: it is unfolding according to the redemptive plan of our Creator.

Maybe the reason we struggle so hard to accept that trials are an inevitable part of life is because  we have made the mistaken assumption that to be a Christian means to have some level of control over our lives. Or maybe we struggle with the assumption that since God has loved us in an ultimate way, pain must be outside of His plan for us. Instead, we should remember that God’s plan for His Son included great suffering and we are walking in His footsteps. You didn’t wake up to a morning of trials and find God asleep. This is still the day that God is making, and we are to rejoice and be glad in it.

(28) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.  (29)  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Romans 8:28-29

God doesn’t bring trails to make you quit.

He brings trials to reveal His Son in you. Like the sculptor patiently chipping away all the pieces that don’t belong, God determined to turn you into the image of His Son. We tend to think that if all pieces do not fall into place then it must be an indication that we are outside of God’s plan and blessing. We misinterpret the difficulties as being indications that we should just give up. We respond with discouragement instead of resolve when the reports are not all favorable.

When a father abandons his family, we don’t think “That guy read the signs correctly.” When a pastor quits praying, we don’t think “There’s a man who has come to grips with reality.” Trials don’t come to make us quit: they come to make us more like Jesus. The emotional asymmetry we experience when life is difficult often arises because of our broken theology: we don’t really believe that God is more concerned with what He can do in me than what he can do through me. Trials are tailor made to expose my weakness and my sin and my immaturity so that I can become more like Jesus.

It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. 

Psalm 119:71

God doesn’t bring trials to reduce ministry

He brings trials to increase ministry. Part of the reason this one is so hard to see is because we equate ministry with metrics that can be deceptive. Increased church attendance looks like fruitful ministry, but it might not be. A full calendar makes us feel productive, but it might just be busy-ness.  We think that long-term gospel fruitfulness can be measured with a snapshot than we can post to social media.

But ministry flows from the things that break us open. Gospel incense is lit by the flame of suffering. The church grows through persecution and adversity. The day of visitation comes following a season of being reviled. Adversity makes us think that our ministry is shrinking, but that simply isn’t something we are capable of deciphering. God’s plan isn’t suddenly falling apart: it’s falling into place.

(8) We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  (9)  Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;  (10)  Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Even a beast may patiently endure when calmed by the touch of their master’s hand. Should not the sons and daughters of God confidently endure their trials, looking for the perfecting of the soul and the doors of opportunity that they bring, when we realize we are held in the nail-scarred hand of the One who loves us?

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What Your Employer Can’t Afford

In the past twenty-two years I have really only worked for three companies (besides a blip on the radar) with the largest having around thirty employees. There are, however, at least two companies located in my city that are worth billions. While my employers were carefully scrutinizing the fiscal benefits of adding an employee, these behemoths were spending that amount on snacks for the employee break room. It’s staggering to think about the difference scale makes in business.

Imagine going to work for the largest company in the world. Perhaps, due to corporate culture or SEC requirements there was a lot of transparency around where the money went. Thousands of dollars going here and there for items that kind of blow your mind. You think to yourself, “There’s nothing this company can’t afford!”

But you would be wrong. There are at least two things that your company cannot afford, and every blessed person reading this has at least one of the two. The first thing the company cannot afford is your soul. Your soul is priceless. What would it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul? In other words, the collective financial holdings of every company in America would not be sufficient compensation for a single soul on planet earth.

The temptation here is to think that selling one’s soul to a corporation has all the dramatic elements of Faust when it really happens over the small things: the little lie to the client or the sudden compromise that signals the coming collapse of the dam. What is really at stake is your integrity. It’s your character. No company in the world has the means to purchase that for what it’s worth, but you might be fool enough to let it go for cheap. Just because they can’t afford it doesn’t mean a fool isn’t willing to part with it.

When I entered my present position I was introduced to the general manager of a distributor partner. He had been in the business for a quite a while and when he found out that I was a bi-vocational pastor, he made the comment, “What in the world are you doing in the lighting business? Don’t you know this is the most corrupt industry in the entire electrical world? You’re going to lose your soul doing this!” I don’t know if he is right about my particular industry, but I suspect that everyone has a chance to lose their soul for the sake of profit or advancement or even pride.

The second thing that your company cannot afford is your marriage. It seems almost a weekly occurrence that another marital catastrophe is announced in the day to day conversations of my peers, friends, and even fellow church members. Marriage is hard work and this post certainly isn’t a deep dive. I would only remind you that it is cheaper to find a new job than a new spouse, with considerable less heartache.

A change in circumstances will not fix a change in the heart, but there are times when changing a job is necessary for the sake of a marriage/family. Sometimes it is long work hours. Sometimes it is the emotional toll of a particular line of work. Sometimes it is a tempting new relationship with a co-worker that needs to be fled. I don’t recommend a haphazard change in your career unless the situation is clear and dire. But it needs to be on the table.

The Christian ethic includes working hard for an employer, doing the best job possible, and honoring Christ through your efforts. For some employers this will be more than enough. Others will demand your exclusive loyalty to them and their bottom line. About a year into my present job there was a “re-alignment” and we were all sent down to attend a big shindig in Atlanta. The event was actually very well done, full of information and motivation to work hard for this particular client. A couple of months later I was talking with my manager and she asked about it, and I could tell my response surprised here. “Listen, I believe in Jesus Christ. I’m willing to sell ____________’s product, but don’t ask me to drink their Cool-aid.” It was probably a bit over the top, but better to mark the boundary in advance.

You may be self-employed, work for a small business, or work for a large corporation. Whatever the case, be really clear about what your company can and can’t afford when it comes to you, your marriage, and your family.

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The Task Unfinished

Communion Meditation – February 2024

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.   Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:   Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Matthew 28:18-20

Before He ascended to be with His Father, Christ gave His disciples their marching orders: to make disciples from all nations. This task has something of the military objective to it. It was a tall order, and from a human perspective one could easily see how a journalist living 2000 years ago would have thought the whole thing a big joke. After all, the Christian army consisted of fishermen, tax collectors, and women. No funding. No army. No existing institutions.

The logistics for launching such a mission would have been incredible: how would they be equipped? How would they be fed? How could such an army be sustained? The odds against Christianity surviving even a generation would have been massive.

But fast forward 2000 years and you won’t find any doubters. Not to say that the mission is complete: we still face a task unfinished. And scoffers and doubters still abound who think that the Church is on the verge of collapse. But what no one can deny is that against all odds, Christ has sustained His Christian soldiers and they have marched onwards, taking the news to every land, wafting it on the rolling tide, singing above the battle strife, and preaching to sinners far and wide that Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves.

God fed the children of Israel for 40 years in the wilderness by giving them manna from heaven. Christ blessed a boy’s sack lunch and fed over 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 little fish. But for His Church, Christ gives us Himself. He feeds us and fills us. He is the Bread that came down from Heaven, and there is plenty to go around. Be it 5000 or 5 million, He is enough for everyone who sits at His table. So come, let us gather around the table again and let the Captain feed us, love us, and strengthen us for the task unfinished.

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The Brouhaha, Part II

When a group of families sued the Classical Christian school that my kids attend, I wrote a rather long post with the goal, not of affirming or denying the charges, but of providing some biblical categories for pursuing justice. Since that time several things have taken place:

 1) several families removed their students from enrollment, including the litigants. This resulted in

2) the withdrawal of the lawsuit, as the families no longer had any standing to bring suit against the school

3) two letters/emails that were publicly shared to the school community by two separate litigants, which either asserted rebuttals to the school’s public statements, or additional accusations. While these were signed and made publicly available (I have not linked to them because my post is available to the public and I do not have their consent), and

4) two letters written by the head of school and the administrators/principals respectively, which I think was an attempt to bring closure and move the school forward.

My response will be a little bit harder to organize than my previous post, but my goal continues to be to help Christians think biblically and wisely through a tough situation. From one perspective, the school has fared very well through this as none of the apocalyptic events have materialized. Specifically, the school has not lost its accreditation and continues to operate. The dismissal of the lawsuit makes a hat trick. But the parting communications from the litigants has been a cause for distress for many, which is why I think it is worth addressing.  

The Chaos of Conflict

As conflict escalates, confusion increases. It is the fog of war. Interestingly, this confusion affects all sides, even the aggressors. For example, one former litigant refutes that her actions were associated with the “poison pen” email that had been part of the original Brouhaha. But just as the defendant doesn’t get the privilege of differentiating between every kind of accusation in the minds of the observers, so the aggressor doesn’t get to demand that the defendant check the return address on every bomb that lands in its territory. The litigation and the poison pen email were part of a series of accusations against the school, both events fed off each other in terms of causing confusion among the parents, and thus the difference becomes indistinguishable. For the defendant, it matters little whether its attackers are cobelligerents or allies, however the aggressors might want to make that distinction. This is the cost of war.

But for those of us who are, let’s call us involved observers, there are distinctions worth noting. For example, what if the the complaints turn out to be true but the more serious accusation are false? What if there is a genuine problem in communication, or management, or planning, but it is not a moral failing but a failure of competency? From my perspective, the seemingly endless numbers of complaints/accusations -that range in seriousness from the illegal to the silly- muddies the distinctions that might prove in the end to be an opportunity for improvement. When it becomes laboriously difficult to differentiate between unsubstantiated gossip and potentially legitimate critiques, the likelihood of a God-honoring resolution seems to recede from view. We need more light and less heat.

The scope of the chaos is related to the methods used: the less godly the methods, the more the conflict. Lies, gossip, slander, and malice = greater chaos. Staying in your lane (Ecclesiastes 7:16), keeping the conflict small (Matthew 18:15), and addressing one’s own heart first (Matthew 7:3) = less chaos.

The Collateral Damage of Conflict

As conflict conflagerates (it must have been the letter C week for my kindergartener!), people start to get hurt. “I’m not trying to hurt anyone” and “I’m sorry anyone got hurt” are meaningless statements. One could easily imagine a remorseless politician saying such things. When objects collide, there is bruising. Conflict is always painful, and as it escalates it draws in more people who begin to careen off each other like billiard balls after a good break. But because we are people and not billiard balls, each one of these collisions is uncomfortable at best. Levels of discomfort may range from families who feel vaguely disappointed or betrayed, to individuals who feel personally attacked and wounded. Defensiveness sets in. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. The best advice I can give is to try to be un-offendable, to pursue truth, and to not let emotions exceed your sanctification.

Calumny

At this point, it is reasonable to say that there were many false (or at minimum confused) allegations made against various people and the school. For example, the allegation that the school would not have enough funds to even open in January was a false allegation. The charge that the school’s accreditation had lapsed or was in danger was a false allegation. This isn’t to say that every allegation is false, but it should serve as a caution to those making the allegations and those believing the allegations. To falsely accuse someone is a big deal, and it turns out that at least some of the accusations have been false, and no amount of “we have prayed about this” or “the Lord directed us” justify false accusations.

I would like to tread as cautiously and charitably as I can in this paragraph while avoiding shadow-boxing. In one of the parting emails, the following was stated “Disgusting sin is being committed, using our Lord’s name. The Board knows it. Joy knows it. The principals and staff all know it but don’t want to admit that they allow it.” (underlined for emphasis). This accusation, whether born out of emotional distress or frustration, is slanderous and needs to be withdrawn. I am not omniscient, and so I cannot categorically deny this charge on behalf of every individual at our school. But my eyes are in my head, and I can, with whatever certainty a man is capable of having before God, refute the claim that my campus administrator and the three classroom teachers my children are entrusted to are operating from a place of spiritual darkness.

While I only have students at one campus, I know that campus is a place where my kids are safe, where they are being educated, and where a genuine effort is made to teach and model Christ-like behavior. And just for good measure, my wife is on staff there and I think rather highly of her. It isn’t as though I am claiming that the school is a perfect place, but the people that I interact with on a regular basis, from parents to teachers to administrators, are normal Christians (in the best sense of the term) trying to walk in a way that is pleasing to God by partnering together for Christian education.

Additionally, the charge that there are those who “idolize Joy” is a very specific and serious charge, and I am confused as to whom it would apply. I haven’t met anyone at the school who idolizes Joy. I think this is simply a misunderstanding of why people haven’t accepted the allegations at face value and are unwilling to sacrifice Joy as appeasement to a group of angry parents. Idolatry is a big deal, and people certainly can be, and often are, idolatrous. But my honest evaluation is not that Joy is idolized, but that the accusations have not merited a response like the litigant desires, due both to the fact that there has not been enough compelling evidence and due to the means by which this war has been fought.

Having spent all of my life around Christian ministry, I have seen the idolatry of individuals, but more frequent has been the idolatry of institutions. This type of thing deserves its own post, or maybe even its own book.

Just as it would be wrong for me to think that every family that has withdrawn their students has malicious intentions, it is also wrong to broadly ascribe evil intentions to the administrators and staff. This is a two way street, and in this matter the accuser really does need to repent. If perfidy exists, it is not widespread.

Some allegations have been made that I am not in any sort of position to evaluate. For example, I have no access to the board meetings, I am not privy to the use of school funds, and I am ignorant of complaints made by staff.  Apart from the fact that the school continues to operate, construction projects continue to be completed, and staff continues to be paid, I cannot begin to speak to the financial health of the school. I would only advise those making allegations be much more cautious, and to publicly apologize for allegations they have made that turned out to be false.

Cover-ups and Privacy

I would also like to once again point out that there is a difference between covering something up and being appropriately confidential. As an organization, the school has the right to make decisions without explaining every detail of that decision to every individual who wants to know. An explanation for everything would be time-consuming and counter-productive, and gratifying those who want to be “in the know” about every decision would take place at the detriment of educating students.  Every institution has to determine for itself the level of transparency it will have with its “share-holders” as well as the means of communicating that information. If shareholders are not satisfied, they will relocate their investment.

For an institution of learning, there are certain things that most definitely should NOT be shared. The letter used the phrase “Tell parents” or “Let parents know” regarding past student behavior that no one has a right to know. The school is not a church where we confess our faults one to another. The school is dealing with children and adolescents who will at times display sinful, immature, or inappropriate behavior and we should expect those situations to be dealt with confidentially. It would be incredibly inappropriate for the school to broadcast disciplinary matter regarding a student. Parents should expect the school to keep their children safe and to appropriately discipline immoral behavior, but any expectation that the staff is capable of preventing such behavior is as ill-founded as expecting that parents will prevent all instances of such behavior.

The Defense, and an Alliteration Fail

So yes, I have run out of headings that begin with the letter C, but nevertheless I press on. Yea, I even Continue. As I stated in the introduction, the school has many things to be grateful for the position it is in today. The follow-up emails sent by the Head of School and Administrators indicated a desire to stay “on mission”, which I think has been the unspoken aim since the Brouhaha started.

When attacked, defensiveness is warranted. But there are a couple kinds of defenses. There is the kind of defense where a kid being attacked curls up on the ground and covers his head while the mob kicks him, and there is the kind of defense that looks suspiciously like a left jab followed by a right hook to the body. Now that the lawsuit has been dismissed, there is an opportunity for the school to make a robust case for itself. There are families on the fence about next year. There are tired and confused faculty. And current students, who are going to grow up in a world antagonistic to the Faith, are watching.

I am a believer in Christian education, so I think the concept of our school is sound. I would like to see our particular institution learn, grow, and thrive. If my judgment that the majority of our school community really does just want to carry out the mission of Christian education is correct, wouldn’t it be nice if this were all behind us? But like the old song writer wrote, “The only way out is through”. The school needs to not only make a robust case for Classical Christian education in general, but for itself as a desirable partner for Christian parents. This is not a time for the fetal position.

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A Word on Sozo Healing

Sozo Healing (from the Greek σώζω, translated “save” or “deliver” and used 110 times in the New Testament) is described by Bethel ministry as “a gentle, yet powerful, tool for inner healing and deliverance” on their website (links at the bottom of this post). A friend asked me to look into this and so, always looking for an excuse to write, here are my thoughts.

Chesterton rightly observed that the difference between Christianity and Eastern mysticism is observable in their art: the fat Buddah sits with his eyes closed, peering within, while the emaciated medieval Christian mystic stares wildly about him as if in shock. In other words, the Eastern mystic looks within for Nirvana while the Christian gazes about looking for Christ.

Sozo healing certainly has some laudable goals, such as getting to the root of issues hindering your connection to the Godhead, or healing painful/traumatic wounds or memories. I think most Christians would be on board with these in principle, although the phrasing can be a bit off-putting. The issue is that Sozo healing locates the means of attaining these goals in an inward, mystical experience through which one is guided, instead of through faith in the finished work of Christ. In Sozo healing, it is through the imagination and emotional experience that healing is achieved, much like the Buddha finds Nirvana in his meditation.

But Scripture would point us away from ourselves. Peace does not come in turning within, but in looking without. The mistake that Sozo healing makes is the same one that modern psychology makes: they think the cure can be found in the same place as the poison. And while it is true that healing must happen in the places where we are broken, the Healer must not be the stuff of our twisted hearts.

Below are listed 4 goals that Bethel lists on their website, and below each is a Scripture to contrast the methodology of Sozo healing with Scripture’s admonition to look to the finished work of Christ on our behalf. What I particularly want you to notice is the absence of turning to imaginary encounters with God, but instead the continued emphasis of living presently in the reality of Christ’s finished work.

Goal 1 – Get to the root of issues hindering your connection with the Godhead

Col 1:20-22  And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.  (21)  And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled  (22)  In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight.

Reconnect with each member of the Trinity and receive a fresh revelation of God’s love

Rom 8:35-39  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  (36)  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.  (37)  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.  (38)  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  (39)  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Heal painful/traumatic wounds and memories.

Php 3:13-14  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,  (14)  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Experience the life of freedom and wholeness that God has for you

Rom 6:11-14  Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.  (12)  Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.  (13)  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.  (14)  For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

So, in short, I would strongly advise Christians not to engage in this kind of thing, as it tends to have more relation to the fat Buddha than the wide-eyed Christian.

https://www.bethelsozo.com/about

https://www.gotquestions.org/Sozo-prayer.html

https://versebyverseministry.org/bible-answers/does-sozo-healing-work

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The Loss of Will

HR McMasters often speaks of breaking the enemy’s will to fight. Your enemy may have the resources to fight, but if your enemy lacks the will to fight then victory is nigh guaranteed. The Ukrainian resistance to the Russian invasion is a dramatic testament to the power of will. Regardless of your opinions of that conflict, it is true to state that the Russians miscalculated (and vastly underestimated) the Ukrainian will to resist them.

The will is a neglected aspect of humanity, perhaps because it isn’t easy to address. Even defining the will is a bit more difficult than differentiating between the intellect and the emotions, or the affections and the behavior. Human beings think, feel, desire, and do. But without a consideration for this thing called “will”, we are missing something.

We have a will (or we will) because God has a will (or alternately, God wills).

1Th 5:18  In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 

2Pe 3:9  The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

The will is the harnessing of God’s desire, wisdom, and power into a force. It is volition. When God wills, it means all of this: He desires something, His wisdom informs not only His desire but His method of achieving that desire, and His power is brought to bear such that what He wills comes to pass. If this definition is correct, God can desire something that He does not will, but He cannot will something that He does not desire.

Without a will, desire is never translated into action. You may want to get up, but until you force your body to actually throw the covers off and plant your feet on the ground, then you will stay in bed. To want may be present within you, but to will is just as important. The loss of will is spoken of in various places in the Bible. For example, in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, we are told to “comfort the feeble-minded”. The Greek oligopsuchos literally means something like small-souled or little spirited, so it is sometimes translated “faint-hearted”. It is also used in the Septuagint to translate Exodus 6:9 (rendered anguish of spirit in the KJV). The enslaved Jewish people had no will left.

I think the will is the place where desire, affection, and intellect meet force (or motion or volition). And while the will can be idolized (and is so wonderfully captured in CS Lewis’ That Hideous Strength), the loss of will is just as devastating as the loss of intellect or affection. But we have some notion of how to restore the mental and the emotional. Or at least we talk about it. But I don’t know that I have ever had a really good conversation about the causes of lost will or the restoration of a lackluster will. So I’m going to take a stab at describing one reason for a weakened will and the path to restoration.

Personally, I have experienced a loss of will (or willpower) as a result of a diluted focus. In these middle years of life, responsibilities abound. These responsibilities each require intellectual and emotional bandwidth, some more-so than others. Since will is the point at which the intellect/affections intersect with force, the will becomes divided as it strives to move me in a specific direction. I sometimes find myself frozen, knowing that a course of action needs to be taken, and also knowing that any action would suffice. Nevertheless, the action doesn’t materialize because there is no will to move me.

The restoration of will involves a clarity and focus of purpose. It is hard to be successful or resilient or creatively aggressive when attention is being absorbed across too wide a field of vision. Like water pressure, will increases when it is forced into a narrower flow. Now human beings are odd ducks, so it would be easy to go wrong here. There are activities that are restorative in nature, even though they broaden the field of vision. For example, I enjoy writing, and it energizes me. But when it comes to responsibilities, too many of them become the case of “death by a thousand cuts”.

When your will-power is depleted, one way that I have found to restore it is to restrict it. If you feel stuck and unable to move yourself purposefully in any one direction, it may be because you are trying to move in too many different directions at the same time. Choose one, even if it means putting other things on the back burner for a season.

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What Every Pastor Should Want for Himself

About seven years ago I started a new job in the lighting industry: I went to work for a rep firm. Until that point I had worked in a showroom and then as a sales manager at a local lighting distributor, so I had a background in the field. I was actually on my way out of the lighting world when a friend offered me an opportunity that looked really good, so I took it.

As I made the rounds and began to meet the various clients/customers that I would be working with, I was introduced as a bi-vocational pastor. Which was quite all right with me, as I prefer flying my flags out front.  We were making introductions at the largest local “independent” and had sat down for a few minutes with the GM. Upon hearing that I was a pastor as well, he said, “Man, I really worry about your soul. Lighting is the dirtiest part of this industry. I don’t know if you can be successful without selling your soul.”

His comment set me on my heels a little bit. I had to stop and consider what I was getting into. I am still grateful for this little dialogue because it forced me to count the cost up front. I determined that I would not lose my soul in the back-alley gutters of architectural lighting. From that point on, when we would periodically encounter each other, I would ask, “Hey JC, how’s my soul looking?” And he always responded something like, “From what I hear it’s still intact.”

There are thousands of Christians like me, working in industries rife with gossip, lies, backbiting, and a lot of other crud. We know that there may come an occasion when we have to give up a job for the sake of our soul and throw ourselves and our livelihoods upon the mercy of God to provide. We put our armor on every morning because we know what we are walking into. Since Jesus is the One who warns against gaining the world at the cost of the soul, we can confidently state that keeping one’s soul intact is a noble aspiration.

The knowledge of the danger the Christian laborer faces is actually a defense against that danger. And it is a knowledge that the pastor sometimes forgets. The secular laborer knows that he is about to step into a building where profanity laced tirades and underhanded deals may be par for the course. But the pastor is walking into a church building, for crying out loud. The secular worker knows that he might be tempted to dissemble, laugh at vulgar jokes in order to fit in, butter up the boss, get drunk with the boys, or compromise in a thousand little ways. But does the pastor remember that he is going to be tempted to minimize truth in order to win friends, cut deals in order to “grow ministry”, or make unreasonable promises to keep discontent members from leaving?

Most of our congregation comes to church looking for refuge in a tumultuous world. But for the pastor, the church may be the eye of the storm. For the congregation, church is a place characterized by joy. But for the pastor, it may be a place of personal pain. For the congregation, the world is the place where they are tempted to sin. For the pastor, the church is the place where he is tempted to sin.

So I want to urge every pastor to make it a top priority to not lose your soul in the midst of this thing called ministry. Don’t lose your soul to bitterness. Don’t lose your soul to discouragement. Don’t lose your soul to selfishness. The secular employee knows that he may lose promotions, accolades, and even a salary for the sake of his soul. Pastor, are you willing to be “less successful” (whatever that means) in ministry in order to keep your soul intact?

In the secular world, keeping your soul intact tends to revolve around integrity and character. While those criteria also hold true for the pastor, I think we might add joy. In the ministry, joy is an indication that our souls are whole. That we have not allowed them to become fractured by the pain of a “failed” ministry, the grief of those who leave, the resentment against those who withstand our efforts, or even the envy of those whose ministry seems more fruitful.

The apostle Paul sets before us a beautiful picture of ministry contentment. If anyone had been bruised and battered by ministry, he had. Besides the whippings and shipwrecks and imprisonments, besides the conflict in and among the churches, besides the exhaustion of overseeing the various ministries, he had also been left to finish his course alone. And even so, he kept his soul:

And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.

1 Timothy 1:12-13
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3 New Year Resolutions for the Church

I’m a couple weeks late on this one, but as we are almost a quarter of a way through another century, I think we need some high and lofty resolutions for the Church. Small changes really can make a difference, but we also need goals that are somewhat visionary: they paint a picture on a grander scale of our aims. Here are 3 resolutions that I think apply not just to my local church, but to the American Church at large.

Resolution #1 – Make Church feel like Church

1Ti 4:13  Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 

Church should not feel like a concert. Church should not feel like a theatrical production. Church should definitely not feel like a comedy club. The way we communicate impacts what we communicate. When people leave church, they should feel like they have been to church.

This is not a knock on metal buildings or shop-front places of assembly; this is a call to publicly embrace, without apology, the sober and joyous spirit of those who gather to hear the preaching of the Word of God, edify one another, observe Communion, and pray. How much of your time together as a congregation is taken up in prayer? What’s the ratio of time spent singing to time spent studying the Bible? We know that when we come together, there are certain things that we are supposed to happen. Are these the things that are actually happening, or are they things we “sneak in” amidst a barrage of more sensually pleasurable experiences so that people don’t perceive us as boring?

Christians should feel no shame about the sincerity of their prayers, the joy of partaking of Communion, or the straightforward preaching of Truth. This is who we are. This is what we do. And frankly, spending time in prayer just isn’t as exciting as watching a skit. Listening to a preacher who makes us laugh is more pleasurable than listening to a preacher who helps us see our reflection in the Word.

The problem with making church feel like a comedy club is that at some point, the church will become a comedy club. Adorning the worship of the Lord with all the accoutrements of a concert will eventually make the church feel like a concert. Instead of making an effort to make church feel less “churchy” so that infidels feel comfortable, let’s make church feel like a church so that infidels can tell the difference.

Now you might argue that making church “feel” like church is just the same sort of thing in the opposite direction. That if we start pulling out the old organ that’s been shoved in a closet until Miss Betty dies so we can throw it away without causing a church split, then we’re really just making the church feel like something cultural from the past. And so we can have our comedy club or concert vibe and just do the things the church is supposed to do and then we really get the best of both worlds.

The problem I have with that is it’s a pose and everyone knows it. Let me illustrate. Let’s say that an evangelist goes to some godless New England city and begins to see a bunch of converts come to Christ. And in that neighborhood, there was a night club that all these pagans used to party at and among the converted is the owner of that night club. Needing a place for this burgeoning congregation to meet, and what with the crazy prices of real estate, these new believers move in and get baptized in a hot tub they brought over from Frank’s deck. So there they are with the weird club lighting and the preacher standing behind the old bar with the glass shelves reflecting his bald spot while a bunch of shot glasses grace the cover of the hot tub for Communion. What say I? I say hallelujah and amen. This is clearly a case of the gospel conquering the wickedness of that place and the whole thing is redemptive.

But then another guy comes to town and sees how well this new congregation is doing and he thinks, “This is what these people want! If I want them to come to church, I need to have my church look like a nightclub!” And pretty soon, he’s filled up his night club. Except that it’s filled with a bunch of church members from other churches in the area who left because their church wasn’t doing enough to reach people. This is just a pose. It’s marketing. It isn’t gospel anything. So don’t be that guy. Don’t be those church members.

The American Church has spent this century trying to look more like the world to attract the world, and it not only doesn’t work in general (even without Barna group data, we can all see the direction the culture is headed), it’s pretentious and often obviously so. The attractional model of church is spiritually bankrupt. Maybe one out of every fifty churches that tries to pull off “cool” pulls it off – the rest come across as second rate versions of the same thing the world has. So quit it. Just be a church, and be unapologetic about it. When people drive off, they shouldn’t have any doubts that they just left a church.

Resolution #2 – Put an End to Consumerism

Now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not, that ye come together not for the better, but for the worse. For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you. When ye come together therefore into one place, this is not to eat the Lord’s supper. For in eating every one taketh before other his own supper: and one is hungry, and another is drunken.

(1Co 11:17-21)

“The youth department just isn’t big enough”

“ There aren’t enough kids”

“ I don’t like the music”

The church is not a mini-mall. The church is not a buffet. What we have become is the most selfish generation of Christians that have ever lived, and we have done it by accepting the dynamics of consumerism. The dynamics which will leave us with a few large churches with the most exciting youth ministry, the best kids ministry, and the most talented musicians. None of which are particularly impressive to God.  

Maybe we should try walking into church like sinners saved by grace. Maybe we should try being a people whose hearts are not captivated by the trappings of the service, but a people whose hearts are captivated by the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ, and believe that the power to save the neighbor who came with us or the kids we are raising lies not in the number of gym nights and pizza parties the church hosts, but in the gospel. I would love for my church to have a gym, but we don’t and it doesn’t matter. God’s power to save and transform does not lie in whether or not the church is large enough to have a Starbucks in the lobby.

There actually is a fix to this: don’t accept members into your church who left their last church for no good reason. Don’t accept members into your church until another local pastor specifically asks you to take them into your congregation. Make these juveniles grow up a little. Stop accepting that joining a church has roughly the same significance as joining a gym. We are members one of another for crying out loud.

Resolution #3 – Invite Someone to Church

Generally speaking, unbelievers visit a church because they were invited by someone they know and trust. I don’t have a cute graph for you so you can argue if you want, but I’m gonna stick to my guns on this one. Now many people who are already looking check out churches online before visiting, and I’ve got no problem with that. Looking for a new church home is time consuming and so if you have a way to limit the number of potential churches I think that makes sense. But when it comes to unbelievers (the unchurched), I think they are most likely to come because they were invited.

Now on the one hand, we live in a society where church attendance is declining. But on the other hand, we live in a world where people feel disconnected from one another. They are looking for connections. So invite someone to come see what it’s about. And don’t worry about whether it is “Friend Sunday” or anything like that (although those can be good excuses to invite someone). Trust that the faithful gathering of believers fulfilling the functions of the gathered church (see Resolution #1) is a sufficient opportunity for the Holy Spirit to work in that person’s life.

Inviting others can be relatively non-personal, like physically handing someone a tract or invitation of some sort as you go through a drive through. On the other hand, it could be very personal, like inviting your next door neighbor. And that neighbor happens to know whether you parent your kids, or care for your lawn, or put your trash in others’ dumpsters. But this shouldn’t worry you, because as a Spirit filled individual, your life should be a wonderful testimony to the redemptive power of Jesus Christ.

Another benefit of inviting others to church is that it is a genuine act of hospitality that simultaneously shows that you are not ashamed of being a Christian. A lot of believers are kind of hunkered down right now, sometimes wondering how their employment might be affected if it because known that they are a church attending Christian. Inviting others indicates that not only are you Not Ashamed, you are also Not Afraid. And we could use a lot more Not Afraid in the world today.

God bless, and Happy 2024!

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Footprints in the Snow

My Missouri kids: running around catching snowflakes with every chance flurry that comes our way. They have not spent months trudging through snow drifts. They have not cleared the driveway enough times that there is nowhere left for the snow to be piled. They have not walked a thousand winter nights to a train station in the bitter cold. To them, snow is just fun.

I remember walking through the snowdrifts in the imprints of my dad’s boot- my little shoe fitting easily into the hollow left by his stride. To get the mail or take out the trash, I wouldn’t bother to put on my boots. Instead, I would don slip-ons and hop from one set of footprints to another until I had reached my destination. Sometimes this was quite the adventure as I had to stick to previously trodden paths and the circuitous route ended up being more time-consuming than just putting on snow boots. More time consuming, but also more adventurous.

There isn’t usually enough snow where we live for my kids to experience this (although every few years we get a decent winter with multiple snowfalls), but the metaphor remains. We follow in the footsteps of our father until we can fill his shoes, and then we make footprints in which our own children can walk until they are old enough to forge their own path. I am in one of those sweet spots in life where I have my parents and my children with me. The kids anchor me to a childhood three decades in my past and my parents anchor me to a future yet to be written, also three decades distant. And here I stand, perched on this tightrope that provides a unique perspective on life.

Three short decades separating me from the joys of childhood and from the glory of old age. One is left behind forever, yet still vivid in my memory; the other is unwritten in deed, but the destination is etched indelibly.

In many ways I have followed in my father’s footsteps. Most notably, his God is my God, and this has shaped my life more than anything. But there are other similarities. We are peripatetics-more pedestrian than adventurers (although I do enjoy a good hike as well). I think on my feet, and I’m sure my neighbors wonder at my strange habits of pacing up and down the street. Sometimes I take one of the dogs with me just to look like I have a purpose. The real purpose is hidden. The pavement is my canvas for sermon writing and blog posts, among many other functions like stress relief, problem solving, and prayer.

My teenage years consisted of much walking. Walking to the train station. Walking from the train station to work. Walking from work back to a train station. You get the idea. But it was more than just necessity. I walked by choice as well. Mondays were always a good walking day. After a full day of school followed by basketball practice, I would walk to get dinner, then walk back for Monday night basketball (a community event that I had been going to for years prior to playing for the school). It would end at nine and my dad would ask me if I wanted to ride home with him. Many times, I would choose to walk the 45 minutes home instead, sometimes with friends and sometimes by myself.

I honestly can’t remember if I used to be more energetic or if a constant exhaustion was just manageable for my teenage self. But as I lay watching the snow flurries the other night after everyone had gone to bed, the road called to me to contemplate this new phase of life in the cold while wandering through a haphazard veil of snowflakes falling lazily.

I don’t know what my adolescent years would have been like without the walking. Without the chance for my thoughts to unravel as my body went into a sort of auto-pilot and freed my mind to meditate on the events swirling around me. I remember the moment I chose to live a life of sobriety, despite the tempting promise of a liquid-based emotional anesthetic. I remember the startling discovery that I was only attracted to girls that I respected. I discovered much about myself while walking. A frequently disappointing discovery, and so different than the way I was perceived by others. I discovered what others were like while walking, turning over conversations and behavior in my mind until they revealed their meaning. And even after discovering what others were like, I found that I liked them, and wanted to be liked by them. I discovered so many strange things without leaving the sidewalk.

How do kids think today? Do they think? How can minds be freed while brains are constantly stimulated by screens and soundtracks? Am I pessimistic to think that wisdom is not being heeded and virtues are not being developed because of the meaningless noise drowning out all thought? Maybe that’s just the sign of my age.  

When my children follow in my footprints, they will see a clear path. It will appear to them that I walked a straight line. What they won’t see is that behind every footprint are a thousand steps where thoughts were clarified, priorities arranged, sacrifices made, values established, wisdom sought, humility accepted, Revelation received, and meaning mediated upon. It was not natural (or easy) to follow in the steps of my father. I thank God that He made me to walk. Otherwise my children might be following footsteps in the wrong direction.

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She Rises

She is ageless – at times a toddler that needs buckled into a high chair and at times a bride walking down the aisle on her wedding day. Sometimes she strokes my hand in my old age and other times she nuzzles into my arms as I carry her on a windy November morning. These are only glimpses in my mind of the person that Penny would be today, or tomorrow. Like a figure in a dream, I cannot make out her features.  But I can always tell that it is her.

She rises in my mind and takes form when I am counting my children at the grocery story. One, two, three, four…where’s the last one? She sometimes find a place setting at a table to which she cannot be bidden. She gets counted when I am trying to figure out how many seats we need available in the car.

I feel her in the hands of Melody, who tugs at my beard while peering into my eyes. I hear her in the giggles of Lily, joy flashing in her bright eyes. I see her in the shy smile of Luella, straddling the line between the innocent confidence of a much-loved child and the anxiety of a young lady in a world of strangers. I watch her brother take her hand when she has fallen and lead her to me for comfort. And she rises in my mind.

She is more than a memory, because we have no memories of her. She is not formless like a mist or weightless like a ghost. She is substantive. She is full of life. She is precious.

She comes unbidden. No picture conjures her. No siren song calls her. She simply rises in my mind and I am caught away for a moment to a world made better by her presence. I stretch the moment as long my mind can hold such a world in a perfectly preserved prison, but human minds were not made for such things.

Are these echoes in my mind? Echoes from the Mind behind all things? Surely the One who summons Light has a future for the immortal souls of those whose earthly lives began and ended in darkness. Surely the Firstborn of the Dead has a plan, a purpose, and a glory for the little children whom He loves. A purpose that only exists in a weightier land, where every rain drop is a cataract and every sunbeam sufficient to warm a distant planet. A land where her footprints exist in more than my mind. And in that land, she rises.

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On Taking the Safety

The 2003 Patriots, vying for the top playoff seed in the AFC, faced the Denver Broncos in week 9 of their season. (If you don’t care about football, stay with me for a minute. It might be worth it.) They were coming off a grueling game against the Browns and Denver got off to a good start. After some back and forth scoring, the Patriots found themselves down a point on fourth down at their own one yard line, with only 2:51 left to play. That’s when Bill Belichick did something a bit shocking: he called a play that resulted in an intentional safety, giving the Broncos 2 additional points.

We all experience overwhelming seasons of life. Well, I assume we all do. I know I certainly do. Times when the yards I need to make up and the time left on the clock leave me feeling overwhelmed. My inclination is to keep pushing. Dig deeper. Sleep less. Work harder. And sometimes that’s what the situation calls for. Being a responsible adult is not easy. But there are times when you need to take the safety.

When you take the safety, you are giving up something in order to gain something better. That’s what Belichick did. He gave up two points in order to gain field position. He trusted that his number one rated defense could stop the Broncos (which they did) and his superstar quarterback could come up with a touch down drive (which he also did). Belichick gave away the two points so that he could get his strongest assets in place at a key moment in the game, and his decision paid off.

When I think about taking a safety, I think about falling further behind in some things in order to put myself in a position to succeed down the road. I took a safety last week. I was behind at work. On top of that, I had to have a new fence built by the end of the week plus sermon prep to accomplish. We had a school activity scheduled for Friday as well. So I took a day off. That may not sound like much to you, but I just don’t take a lot of days off. As soon as I made the decision to take PTO, I could feel the stress lift off my shoulders. The inevitable delays in gathering material gave me time to think and pray, instead of making me feel like the clock was about to run out. I fell a little farther behind at work, but the emotional/spiritual benefit was well worth the decision. I could tell that internally, I had swapped field position. Instead of being down one point at my own yard line, I was down three points but in great field position and with a confident disposition.

I think there are a lot of people who are loathe to take a safety. They feel like they are moving backwards instead of forwards and it scares them. I found an unusual example of this in some of the counseling that I have engaged in with drug addicts. For example, I counseled one young man to enter into a long term (multiple months) Christian rehab program, but he didn’t want to lose the time with his young son. Unfortunately, his ongoing addiction resulted in him losing most contact with his son. A similar situation occurred with another young man, who didn’t want to lose his job and give up his savings. He later died of an overdose. These may seem like extreme circumstances, but I’m wondering if – at a lower level – many of us don’t do the same thing. We are so harassed by the amount of time on the clock and the yardage we have to cover that we put ourselves in a losing situation. It’s counterintuitive to take a rest when you have some much to do. It goes against our fleshly impulses to spend time in prayer when there is so much work that needs to be done. It violates our conceit to worship the true God with the people of God all the while acknowledging that I am not god.

Maybe this is why God was so severe with the Israelites about the Sabbath. You know, there was the guy who was stoned to death because he was gathering sticks on the Sabbath. Seems extreme. To the farmer, Saturday was one more day to work the fields. But maybe God had to be extreme in order to get a willful, self-reliant people to stop for a day. Maybe that’s why so many families spend their Sundays running around instead of worshiping and resting. And why so many families wake up on Monday less prepared to face the responsibilities of the week than they were on Friday evening.

When I think about how spiritual disciplines like prayer, worship, and meditating upon God’s Word are being displaced – not by laziness or worldliness – but by the seemingly insurmountable number of tasks that need to be accomplished in the modern world, I wonder if there aren’t a lot of Christians feeling like they are on their own one yard line with the clock running out. The human instinct is to run another desperation play and see if they can gain any yardage. The idea of retreating in order to advance is counterintuitive.

Missionaries on the field who have no backup find themselves working 14-16 hour days in order to reach as many as possible. But sometimes, they burn out. Or sometimes, they have affairs. Pastors work 60-80 hours per week to see to the health of their flock, but they, too, are burning out. Or sometimes, developing a drug habit.

So before you burn out, or take up a destructive habit, or cheat on your wife, or provoke your kids to wrath, why not consider taking a safety? Fall behind somewhere. Your strength is not in the might of your arm or the accuracy of your arrows, but in the Name of the Lord your God.

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The Brouhaha

A sequel to this point can be found here

With the hope of bringing some clarity – whilst at the risk of flaming the fire – I am going to endeavor to make some remarks that I hope are biblical, wise, and applicable to a fracas that has lately erupted at the school in which my children are enrolled. To date, I have had no discussion on this topic with any of the administrators or board members, so my comments are limited to what I have received via email, one public meeting, and public court documents. I have tried to be careful in chronicling the events, but I am on the periphery and do not claim to have captured every significant development. None of this is legal advice or anything other than “thinking biblically about a tough situation”, and this is a really long post.

Conflict is worth writing about publicly because there is such a need for the Christian community to model a grace-filled form of conflict resolution that adheres to principles of biblical justice. In a world of Ready, Fire, Aim! it seems like a good opportunity to apply these general principles to a specific instance.

Far from this being an endeavor to drag any person or organization through the mud (which is why no names are used), it is important for Christians to understand that conflict is inevitable in this life. Conflict is not inherently sinful, although the way conflict is handled in a fallen world certainly can be. Rather than trying to defend or accuse the school, I am advocating for principles of biblical justice. Each section has a category that I try to explain biblically, apply to the current situation, and then make a few suggestions.

  1. The Conflict
  2. Grievances (Complaints)
  3. Accusations
  4. The Method of Bringing Charges
  5. The Defense
  6. Evidence
  7. The Waiting
  8. Resolution
  9.  Summary

The Conflict

On October 19th, I (along with what I assume is every other parent at ____), received an anonymous email from a person/group referring to themselves as the Concerned ____ Parents. The basis for the email was a concern over a forensic audit that had been commissioned by the school (which had been communicated by an email from the school Board on October 15th) to ascertain the reason for a financial discrepancy found in a regularly scheduled audit performed as a requirement of the school’s accreditation. Several other “events” were given in order to raise the level of concern and to justify 2 courses of action: 1) to stop financial donations to the school until more information could be obtained regarding school finances, and 2) to attend a meeting scheduled for October 24th regarding the school’s Capital Campaign (which provides the financial resources for the improvement and expansion of the school facility). Additional events for which the senders wanted an explanation included the sudden resignation of several board members.

Additionally, the email attached a document petitioning the court to grant a motion to inspect the school financial records. (It appears that there had been some interpersonal conflict when some individuals attempted to demand the records from the school office rather than from the school’s attorney. According to the current Chairman of the Board, that court motion has been disposed of by the court, meaning that the court considers it a closed matter and no additional court dates are necessary. As such, I think this event should be regulated to the past.)

On October 20th, the Trustees of the school sent an email providing a series of explanations grouped by topic. By combining this email with statements made by the head of school on October 24th, a rough timeline emerges. The standard audit required by the accrediting organization revealed a financial discrepancy from the 2021-2022 school year. A recommendation was made (I’m unclear of whether it was from the CPA firm or the accrediting organization) to simply write off the discrepancy and move on, but it was the decision of the head of school to order a forensic audit to determine why the discrepancy existed in the first place. The trustees affirmed the good financial standing of the school and the confidence they have in the school administration. Additionally, the school accreditation is not in jeopardy and I cannot find any indication that the normal operations of the school are in danger of being interrupted.

Between the time when the court disposed of the motion to inspect the school’s documents and the public meeting scheduled on October 24th, a lawsuit was filed against the head of school, several of her family members, and the entire remaining Board of Trustees alleging several serious charges casting aspersions on their characters as well as making them legally culpable for the misuses of funds. As a result of this lawsuit, the attorney for the school has recommended that no comments be made.

A public meeting was held on October 24th, which I attended, in which the Chairman of the Board began the meeting by explaining that those presiding over the meeting were only going to be able to discuss the Capital Campaign/Building and that no questions could be answered regarding other matters pursuant to the advice of their lawyer. Many questions were – in fact – asked about those matters. The head of school brough the meeting to a conclusion after several women became excessively emotionally charged and the meeting became counter-productive.

So what to make of all of this? What biblical categories apply in such a situation?

Grievances (Complaints)

During a time of explosive growth in the early church, a grievance (complaint) was brought before the apostles regarding the care of the widows. A grievance, as I am defining it (as opposed to its legal usage), is a complaint over treatment of a personal nature. It does not rise to the level of serious injury or loss, although it may cause legitimate distress.

Grievances may be legitimate or they may be illegitimate. We live in a world where feelings seem to rule, where the innocuous is found by some to be offensive, and where there exists a Society for the Perpetually Aggrieved. On the other hand, the apostles took the Hellenistic widows’ complaint seriously and addressed it by creating the office of Deacon. This addressed the complaint and provided an ongoing solution that allowed the church to function with less friction.

It’s clear that  ___ is in a period of explosive growth and we should expect there to be some level of disarray as new realities are being addressed on an almost daily basis. One of the moments at the meeting on October 24th that I appreciated was when the speaker for the administration frankly said that they probably could have done things better. I’m reminded of Ulysses S Grant, who was considered by his military peers to be the greatest general alive, who admitted that he only considered one of his campaigns to have been perfect – the rest he would change with the benefit of hindsight. Anyone who leads a business or a church or even a family would acknowledge that in hindsight, better decisions could have been made.  Grievances can be the catalyst for addressing failures and making improvements. They should be evaluated in a spirit of humility and self reflection, while those offering the grievance should equally understand that we live in an imperfect world with people who, while doing their best, are at the mercy of their own limited humanity (2 Corinthians 4:7). Humility is required on everyone’s part. Humility is the oil that keeps the engine running smoothly.

The widows’ complaint in Acts was effective because it 1) expressed the grievance of the whole group, and 2) was specific. The anonymous email I received expresses grievances on behalf of others (for example, teachers) which are too generic in nature to be addressable. Who is speaking on behalf of all (or at least a majority) of the teachers? Can they not speak for themselves? At the meeting, there were some teachers who were indignant that such a complaint was offered in their name, without their consent or agreement with that complaint. It would be better for those aggrieved to speak for themselves, and if they find themselves to be a limited minority, consider whether their complaint is as egregious as they think.

As any institution grows, new processes and offices need to be created to help the organization function with less friction. Currently, communication from the school comes in the form of emails (of which I honestly read very few, so who knows what I’m missing!), building update meetings like the ones that have been held over the past couple of months, annual meetings and the school banquet. Perhaps with the number of newer families at multiple campuses, new forums may need to be developed to keep everyone on the same page. On the other hand, parents (like myself) would do well to take advantage of the communication that is already taking place before demanding greater transparency on issues of which I am ignorant. (ie, I haven’t taken advantage of the ways the school does communicate, so I should not demand better or more communication until I have done so). The Handbook for ____ also contains a grievance policy with which parents and staff should familiarize themselves. As this is the handbook that was signed when enrolling, parents and staff should be aware of the process for the resolution of grievances. Those who offer their grievances publicly should make sure that they have take every intermediary step necessary before publicizing complaints.

Accusations

An accusation is distinguished from a grievance (in my definition) by the presence of personal moral and/or legal culpability of a serious nature. This is a valuable distinction biblically because there are legitimate complaints that do not rise to the occasion of discipline. The Hellenist’s complaint needed to be addressed, but no one needed to be fired or thrown in jail. Let’s say an employer is grouchy in tone with an employee every once in a while. This is neither a grievance nor cause for an accusation. If the pattern persists to a point where it is obnoxious, a complaint can be made. If the employer begins to hit or became verbally abusive with employees, it might then qualify as an opportunity for an accusation.

When Scripture commands that an accusation against an elder should only be considered if it is confirmed by multiple witnesses (1 Tim 5:19), Scripture is permitting that charges can be brought against those in authority. To be in a situation where anyone is “above the law” is to invite an abuse of power. However, charges against an elder must meet a high threshold of evidence. This is because those in authority are often the target for malicious attacks. So accusations against authority figures are acceptable under the condition that they are qualified by reliable evidence.

An accusation against an individual, however, does not equal nor determine guilt. There is a genuine confusion about this in our culture. Accusations can arise from those legitimately wronged (Luke 18:3), those who think they have been legitimately wronged but have not (Proverbs 21:2-3), and those who are false accusers (Acts 17:5-7). The modern tendency to equate an accusation with guilt is a transgression against biblical principles. For example, “always believe the woman” landed an innocent man, Joseph, in prison. It was a false accusation of blasphemy that landed our Lord and Savior on a cross. Biblically, a thousand false accusations are no proof of guilt whereas one true accusation is. So to be accused, while serious (and unpleasant for the accused) should have no bearing on our demeanor toward the accused until the veracity of the accusation is proven.

This is where the presumption of innocence comes in. If all it took was an accusation to impute guilt, then the wicked could depose the righteous at their whim. Of course, we see this taking place in the world via “cancel culture” and such things: simply to accuse (or to accuse often and publicly and passionately) is enough. The Western legal tradition rests upon ancient biblical wisdom that it is not enough for an accusation to be made: guilt must be established.

Currently, there is an accusation of fiscal malfeasance on the part of the administration and a failure to adequately address it by the Board of Trustees (in other words, this is a question of moral culpability).  Secondarily, there are accusations against the head of school regarding nepotism and treatment of staff. I think it’s very helpful to be clear about what the charges are because only by being specific can  accusations be validated, disputed, or proven false.

It is neither my intent or function to defend the Head of School or the board of Trustees, but I am defending the principle of the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. This means that I must functionally treat the accused as innocent until revealed otherwise. Were I (or you!) in their shoes, I would want the benefit of the doubt while the process of gathering evidence was taking place. If the assurances offered by the school Board are accurate (that accreditation is not at risk, that the school’s finances are in good standing according to the current CPA firm, etc…) then a need to pass immediate judgment is unnecessary.

The Method of Bringing Charges

How should a Christian bring a charge against another? Does Jesus’ admonition to resolve conflict interpersonally (Matthew 18:15ff) apply outside of a local church ? Are all lawsuits prohibited per 1 Corinthians 6? In short, are those bringing the lawsuit already in violation of Scripture? To that, my answer may be more complicated than we would all like.

Pro 25:8  do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame? 

1Co_6:1  Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

Biblically, the absolute injunction against lawsuits among believers applies to individuals, but is instructive for corporate entities. If that sounds like an evasion, it’s not. Let me demonstrate. As an individual, I can suffer loss at the hands of another believer and rather than pursue the recovery of that loss in a civil court, I can 1) bring my case before the church, or 2) suffer the loss with contentment. In doing this, I am only acting on behalf of my own interests.

But let’s say that I have a company that employs 100 people and a competitor pursued a sales account that contractually belonged to me. The loss of that account would mean that I would have to lay off 10% of my staff. In such a case, I think there is room biblically to pursue justice in a civil court for the sake of my employees.

Here’s another example: A health insurance company refused to authorize a life saving treatment for a family member who subsequently died. The family sues the life insurance company and wins, forcing the life insurance company to cover the life saving treatment for 100 people the following year. In this scenario, as a result of the lawsuit, 100 people were allowed to live. If the principal shareholder of the insurance company called the family that was suing and asked them to stop based on the fact that they were both Christians, I don’t think he would be making a compelling argument unless he was willing to enter into a binding arbitration with a Christian organization of some kind.

So in the complex world of corporate law, there may be valid times for Christians to utilize a civil court. Ideally, the Christian community will develop arbitrating structures that extend beyond the personal for just such occasions (and such do exist already…just perform a search for “Christian arbitration” online). Before going before a civil court, the Christian should 1) not rush into a lawsuit that may end up causing more harm than good (Proverbs 25:8), 2) Examine their own heart to determine whether they have selfish or malicious motives (Jeremiah 17:9 ), 3) eliminate every alternative means of resolving the conflict possible, including using Christian arbitration, 4) consider suffering loss for the sake of Christ’s reputation.

The Scriptural precedent is that believers have greater discernment and judgment than unbelievers and therefore make better judges (1 Corinthians 6). As such, the means of anonymous emails and lawsuits to make an accusation seem like poor choices unless the situation is dire or there is some sort of imminent danger. Because no evidence has been offered to disprove the Board of Trustee’s assertion that the school accreditation is not in jeopardy and the school is financially viable, I don’t think a case can be made that the means used to bring a charge against the school comport with Biblical principles of conflict resolution. In other words, these are not good means of engaging in conflict among believers.

The current methods (an anonymous email and a lawsuit) have created several problems. For example,  parents who asked good questions (and in a reasonable spirit) regarding some of the events detailed in the email, but as a result of the lawsuit those questions cannot be answered. Some want greater transparency but because of the lawsuit transparency isn’t possible. It’s a real conundrum and I don’t envy the administration or the Board of Trustees in trying to navigate that. Additionally, encouraging attendance at a meeting designed for a different purpose was ill advised and counterproductive to achieving the purported desired end of unity. More heat than light was generated in that forum.

In filing a lawsuit or sending an anonymous email as a method of addressing accusations, the accusers should consider whether the success of their endeavor will be to the benefit or detriment of the overall good, which in this case is the school. For example, it appears to me that most or all of the current parents are still sending their most valuable possession – their children – to the care of the school governed by the current administration and Board of Trustees. In other words, we still all trust _____ to teach and care for our kids in a Christ-like manner. Should the lawsuit be successful, the Court would appoint a Receiver to oversee the school. Would a Receiver appointed by a secular court be a better caretaker for my children’s education than the people I already trust with that task? The success of the lawsuit has the potential to be to the detriment of my students. I would strongly prefer NOT to be in a position where the Christian school to which I send my children is under the authority of a secular institution. As a parent, I cannot see an upside to the lawsuit.  

It’s hard to determine what the success/benefit of the anonymous letter would be. It certainly raised a lot of questions, so from that perspective perhaps conversations are happening that would not have otherwise happened.  Determining whether those conversations are godly/profitable or not would be difficult. One major problem with anonymous emails is their association with vitriol and gossip. Some of the “events” listed in the email were either inaccurate (based on the response of the administration and Board of Trustees) or subject to personal interpretation, which is problematic. If Postman is even close to right that “the medium is the message”, then anonymous emails communicate a desire to tear down rather than build up. In short, I am less inclined to believe accusations presented via an anonymous email than accusations raised by an administrator, a group of teachers, etc… who identify themselves and their stake in the accusation.

I think an appropriate question for the Board of Trustees and the Administration to answer is whether or not sufficient means are given for concerns, grievances, and even accusations to be made. If such opportunities do not exist, maybe those who used the means of anonymous emails and lawsuits thought they had no other option. Should the Board consider having open meetings (or a portion of each Board meeting to be open to the public)? Could the administration develop a more consistent approach to communication?

To those who think that a lawsuit (or some further action is necessary), I want to sincerely ask, Would you consider withdrawing your lawsuit in favor of a more biblical alternative? This would allow greater liberty of the administration and Board of Trustees to communicate with parents as well as relieving stress during the school year when the focus of the staff would be better served in educating our children.

The Defense

Proverbs 18:7 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

The right to defend against accusations also has deep historical roots in Judeo-Christian theology. A significant portion of a “fair trial” is that the accused gets to make statements of his/her own that either contradict, explain, or re-interpret the charges against them. Because this is so self-explanatory, I won’t linger long on it.

The leadership of ____ has elected to contradict the charges made against them. Specifically, the Board of Trustees have asserted that accreditation is not in jeopardy, that the school is financially viable, and that they have confidence in the Head of School. Simple enough.

A brief word on “transparency” and “truth”. All organizations have to decide how much information they share and how frequently they share it. The entire purpose of a leadership group would be pointless if all information was shared to everyone. Every parent, teacher, board member, and administrator would have to be involved in every single meeting. Additionally, there are times when sharing information would be a betrayal of confidence that might result in personal pain or legal reprisals. Parents who asked “Why didn’t I know about that?” ought to consider 1) whether there is any reason why you SHOULD know about that, and 2) whether the information is available upon request. I make this observation because I can see how it would either be morally wrong or simply irresponsible for the school leadership to satisfy every question of every person. There are some things that we don’t need to know. What we need to know is pretty simple: 1) Is the school accreditation on solid ground, 2) Is the school’s income sufficient to manage its day to day operations, and 3) Is there a reason to be concerned about how the school manages its funds/donations. A demand to know about every decision the leadership of the school has made over the last six months would be unreasonable.

Evidence

Proverbs 18:3 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

After an accusation has been made, evidence has to be presented and examined to validate the accusation. In Biblical times, most evidence consisted of eye-witness testimony (hence the emphasis the Bible places on danger of false witnesses, Prov 19:9). In modern times, legal evidence tends to be more forensic in nature. But the type of evidence offered depends on the type of accusation being made. For example, it would be hard to use microscopes and fingerprints to sustain an accusation of a toxic work environment. (I suppose a recording could be made of a berating speech or something along those lines.) More likely, this type of accusation would involve interviewing the employees under the manager in question and asking specific questions about whether inflammatory language was used (and if so, what did it consist of), whether staff were berated or insulted, etc…

Thus far little evidence has been offered by the accusers or by the defense.  Let’s take those in order. An anonymous email detailing a series of “events” that attempts to create a narrative is not evidence. I find little that is actionable and I am convinced that someone could easily find a series of selective events that happened in my life in order to accuse me of being a bad husband, a bad father, a bad pastor, etc… We have all failed enough that one could weave a story of depravity rather than redemption. Unless a witness is willing to make a statement on the record which can be evaluated, it isn’t evidence (and is very possibly gossip).

The accusation regarding school finances has at least one verifiable component, which is that the regularly scheduled audit found a discrepancy. No evidence has yet to be given (perhaps more is forthcoming) that would indicate the school’s financial situation is dire. Such evidence might be the failure of staff members to be paid in a timely manner, vendors who are not being paid, etc…

For the defense, evidence has not been given to validate the leadership’s claims (see above regarding “Defense”). These might include a letter from accrediting board stating that ____ is not in danger of losing accreditation (I found our school as listed as “accredited” on the member directory of our accrediting board) and a statement from the CPA firm affirming that the school is financially viable. (Personally, I trust the public statements that have been made by the Chairman of the Board of Trustees because I see no reason for him to dissemble in this matter, but my own personal trust does not constitute evidence).

The greater accusation (and the one that has the potential to limit the amount of donations the school receives) is of fiscal mismanagement and malfeasance. Understandably, donors want their sacrifice to be meaningful. The evidence necessary for evaluating this charge is in the ongoing forensic audit and the accounting documents of the school.  I do struggle to understand the concern that a forensic audit is taking place when such an audit is the only way of determining why there is a financial discrepancy. The anonymous email implied that the forensic audit was indicative of wrongdoing, but it is also possible to interpret it as the responsible course of action to be taken rather than an indication of any wrongdoing. Parents who are upset that an audit is taking place and yet also want assurances that the school finances are in good order are contradicting themselves in this matter.

In the short term, I think it would be helpful for the CPA firm that the school hired over the summer (prior to any accusations being made) to put together some snapshots of the school finances to validate the statement by the Board of Trustees that the school is financially viable. It would also be helpful to provide a high-level snapshot of how the donations that were made specifically to the Capital Campaign are separate, safe, or spent on projects appropriate to their purpose. Since the school has on-going fiscal responsibilities, such documents may take some time to assemble, so a suggestion would be for the school to let parents know when they can expect such information. And (my own opinion only here) if the school wants to raise money in the short term, they should provide that information quickly.

The Waiting

So what to do while the charges are being evaluated? For the believer, there are several things to do. First, we can pray. Second, we can determine to make sure that the names of our brothers and sisters in Christ are safe in our mouths. No gossip or slander will pass from our lips. Third, we can reserve judgment against others (including their motives).  Fourth, we can try to make sure that our children see us incarnating Christ-like concern for one another, as opposed to making our children emissaries for our own opinions. In short, we can stay plenty busy being salt and light in the world, even while this conflict continues to unwind in the background.

The anonymous email suggested halting all donations until the matter is resolved. Ultimately, people are going to let their dollars express their level of trust in the direction of the school. Some will stop giving while others will continue to give. It was clear at the meeting that there are those who are concerned about the use of finances and others who are desperate to find more/better space for their students. Unfortunately, the only way to accommodate more students and improve the space is by continuing to raise donations, so the leadership of the school has to determine what steps can/should be taken to assure potential donors that they are making a sound investment. Below are a few suggestions.    

In order to build trust, the Board of Trustees and the school could resolve some of the questions that were asked at the meeting by 1) publishing a time-line of events that helps parents better understand the steps that have been taken and why (in regard to the fiscal situation), 2) publishing a quarterly financial snapshot of the Capital campaign and where the donations currently reside, 3) refreshing everyone’s memory about the structure of the school and how the Board of Trustees functions in relation to the Administration and Head of School (I’m sure this has been explained to me but it’s been a hot minute), and 4) refreshing everyone’s memory about the process of dealing with grievances (I also vaguely remember reading this when we first enrolled but again, been a hot minute). It’s possible that many of the questions parents are asking can be answered without exposing confidences or putting the school in legal jeopardy in regards to the lawsuit.

Resolution

Once the charges have been clarified and their veracity determined, the question then becomes how the conflict will resolve. Let’s choose our own adventure for a minute.

Ending 1 – The discrepancy was something innocuous, like a clerical error, and there’s no moral culpability. In this case, I would expect those bringing the charges to consider this matter fully resolved.

Ending 2 – The discrepancy happened as a result of poor procedures, but there was no immoral cause. In this case, I would expect the school to acknowledge the failure and to make sure that their processes are improved. Those bringing charges should consider this matter fully resolved and move on.

Ending 3 – The discrepancy exposes some sort of immoral activity like embezzlement. In this case, I think the responsible party should make restitution and be removed from their position at the school. Those bringing the charges should consider the matter resolved and move on.

Ending 4 – It’s messy and unsatisfactory. This is probably the worst case scenario as far as resolution goes. But if this is the case, those bringing the charges must decide to treat the Board of Trustees and Administration as innocent (since guilt could not be proven). If they find this unacceptable, they should move on to a different school.

None of these fictional endings takes into account the ongoing scenario of the lawsuit, of which I lack any legal expertise to comment, except to say that I don’t believe a lawsuit serves the school, the students, or the parents well. (This is not to cast aspersions on the character or the motives of those filing the lawsuit, but only to observe that a lawsuit is the least desirable method for Christians to utilize when a conflict is taking place and is most likely to leave believers unreconciled.)

Believers have categories of conflict resolution that unbelievers do not have. For example, unbelievers are under no requirement to forgive while believers are (Matt 6:14-15). Believers are to be reconciled to one another (Matt 5:24) while lost people can go their own way. And of course, we will all be sharing the same eternal real estate with one another. Conflict can leave behind a trail of bitterness and malice, or conflict can be a tool for sanctification.

In fiction, all conflict resolves and the full story is made known. In real life, we have to live with the reality that injustice is a part of the fallen world and that we are not called to fix every problem that exists (Ecc 7:16-21). We are not omniscient and do not need to be omniscient. We all have to anchor our expectations to this so that the good that we are trying to do in the world is not sacrificed to the idyllic best that we might hope for. In other words, at the end of all of this not everyone is going to be fully satisfied, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you thought a Christian school was going to be perfect…now you know better. Our hope is not that God’s people will be perfect so that the plan of God will unfold seamlessly; our hope is that our God is so wise that He will use imperfect people to bring a glorious plan to fruition despite them, and it will be all to the glory of His grace.

 Summary

The categories we use to think through conflict are important. What are the specific charges being brought by whom and against whom? How can those allegations be evaluated? How are we to treat people involved in the conflict while the charges are being evaluated? What methods are we using? Do they accord with biblical principles? How can I show grace to others, even those who disagree with me? How do I trust God through this? And of course, how can I guard my heart as this process unfolds?

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The Worst Cancer Ever

“I’m sorry to have to tell you that the test came back and it is cancer” is a sentence we all dread to hear. Typically this would be followed by treatment options if there were sufficient time. But what if you had a new and unique kind of cancer that defied all treatment? What if your cancer could not be starved by diet or eradicated by radiation or poisoned by chemotherapy? What if there were no drugs that could touch it? You would be hopeless. Stuck in your cancer, because your cancer wasn’t like anyone else’s cancer.

There are some people who, contrary to reality, are convinced that their cancer is unique. Except it isn’t cancer, it’s the painful and traumatic circumstances of their lives. In their own minds, they have suffered so uniquely that all the cures that exist for others are meaningless for them. They are hopelessly imprisoned in the uniqueness of their suffering. Their story of suffering is their self-defense against the world, and so they both hate and love it.

But let me push back on the story they are telling. Let me suggest that their suffering is not unique, though it may be legitimately horrific. Your suffering is not unique. There is only one case of unique suffering in the world, and that is the case of Jesus Christ. His suffering alone can claim to be above the horizon of all other suffering. You, my friend, have not suffered like Jesus.

One difference is that Jesus suffered as an innocent, and you have suffered as a sinner. Even when you tell your story, don’t you have to occasionally insert a disclaimer like, “Sure, I wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t deserve that”. Aren’t there decisions that you made along the way that inflamed your suffering? Did you have any thought that robbed you of peace or attitude that quelled joy? Did you cause others to suffer along your journey because of selfishness or anger or some other deed of the flesh? Jesus had no such experience. “In His living, In His suffering, never stain nor trace of sin”. I am not minimizing your suffering, only trying to contextualize it.

Another difference is that while you suffered (or continue to suffer) unwillingly, Jesus chose His path knowing what it would lead to. His entire earthly existence was part of a story that culminated on a cross. He chose to suffer because His suffering would be redemptive. It would change the world. It would wash away the very sins that led to its necessity. But you have tried to escape your suffering, sometimes at the expense of others. As the saying goes, hurting people hurt people. Do you ever look back at all the people you have hurt and hide your guilt with comforting excuses of your own suffering? Do you every say, “But I never would have acted like that if _________ hadn’t happened to me, so it’s still not my fault?” Have you ever considered that the people that hurt you have their own version of this story of victimhood, and you are simply caught up in an endless cycle? Jesus came to suffer and end the cycle.

You might think that since Jesus is the Unique Sufferer, He must hold that over our heads (since, after all, that is what you do with your suffering). But He doesn’t. Instead of using His suffering as an excuse to be above the rest of the rabble, He uses His suffering as an invitation. Because He has suffered, He understands suffering. He is not the God who stands aloof and alone, enshrined in His perfection. He is he God who enters in and participates in our suffering. If you are alive, you have suffered. Jesus understands.

“So doctor, you’re telling me that my cancer is so different and terrible that there is no cure?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying your cancer is very similar to other kinds of cancers and since we caught it early, we should be able to treat it.”

Now who would want to walk away from the Cure?

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My Disposable Notes

I love yellow legal pads. I love the blue horizontal lines across the face of the yellow paper. And don’t get me started on the double red vertical lines on the left side. Think of the lists you could make, the bullet points that could be arranged, or the post-script inspirations that could reside on the left side of that line. Sometimes I get one out just so I can think, like an intellectual version of Pavlov’s dog. I buy them by the pack at Sam’s Club and flip the page and write, flip the page and write, flip the page and write. And then I throw them away.

In fact, I just did that very thing. Upon discovering that a couple of previous generation legal pads were filled with everything from budget calculations for construction projects to grocery lists to sermon notes, I threw them away. Gone. In the trash. And yes, you read correctly, my sermon notes.

There’s sort of a conundrum regarding sermon notes. The preacher (hopefully) studies and prays and meditates over a text until a sermon emerges. His notes represent that entire process, which encompasses at least the time invested in those aforementioned activities. But ideally, it represents the totality of his life. Because while some topics are narrow, the preacher still brings his entire knowledge base and life experience and maturity and holiness to the process. What does the preacher have to show for his effort? One answer is his sermon notes.

I should give a disclaimer before continuing. Most people would (and do!) laugh when they see my sermon notes, or find them lying on the pew next to my Bible. My notes are…sparse. I only take with me what I know I will need to remember the flow of the sermon, or what I know I can’t remember – like quotations from extra-biblical sources. Other than that, my goal is for my sermon to follow the text in a natural way. The more notes I have, the more I have struggled to untangle the knots in my head. Anyway, the point is that those who have invested in more thorough sermon notes (and it is entirely possible that I should become one of those people!) may have a different sense of this thing than I.

Ok, on to a narrative. A friend of mine related a story about going into ministry as a young man. He was just starting out on his journey and so a mentor of his decided to help him by bestowing upon him the gift of approximately 50 years worth of sermon notes, collected in multiple boxes. It was a kind gesture and kindly meant, but one sees the problem, doesn’t one? First, they took up a lot of space. Second, they were hard to search. But even assuming that one could digitize them and make them searchable, it’s hard to know how much value they would really have. High quality scholarly works are available that, from the perspective of utility, would likely exceed the value of the mentor’s notes. For sermon structure, my young friend was more likely to establish his own. In short, the material was of little value to my friend, though he was very appreciative of the gesture.

So my notes get thrown in the trash. Sometimes I wish I had carefully saved and organized them.  But then I wonder where I would store them, and whether they wouldn’t be a burden pulling me towards the past, and why I would want to saddle my children with them. I think of the Dewitt Talmages and the John MacArthurs of the world and how I have profited from reading their sermons, but with almost 30,000 preachers in North America, we can’t all leave a legacy of sermons to be read by our descendants. And this doesn’t even take into account the reality that I am NOT a Jonathan Edwards or Spurgeon caliber preacher.

So the notes are disposable. But this doesn’t bother me anymore than it should bother a chef that his recipe card got discarded. The deed is done, so to speak. The meal has already been prepared and eaten, enjoyed and digested. The work of the meal is accomplished, and the recipe card is only needed if the chef intends to make the same meal again and for some reason cannot re-produce it. But this doesn’t often happen to me because I preach from the same pulpit every week and my “meals” are never repeated.

I’m not advocating that everyone be as laissez faire about their notes as I am, and I’m not saying that there aren’t things worth writing down and saving. Perhaps there is a particular work or topic or even book that you may want to invest in.  I am saying  that there is no reason to despair if you can’t go to a filing cabinet (or several) filled with past sermons. The work of the Spirit in the hearts of believers as you preach the Word is the work. Hopefully, the impact of your studies has stayed with you and the words of Scripture are still fixed in your heart. Your writings may be disposable, but His are magnified above His name and not one iota has fallen. You may write down some things that should be remembered for a generation, but His are the Words that will last for eternity.

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It’s Good to be a Man

Sunday evening. Late July humidity seeps into the deep corners of the shade, but the water pump on the minivan needs replaced. Belt has to come off from under the engine. Motor mount has to be removed from above. Three hours of sweat and grease and engine coolant later, mixed with a little knuckle blood, and the new one is on. I’ll wait till morning to see if it actually works, or if I left out a bolt (likely), or if that was even the problem at all. It’s good to be a man.

Almost midnight. Straight-line winds hit the house and the power goes out almost simultaneously. The baby monitor is off so I move to the living room in case she cries. The lightning is strobing through the blinds and thunder is near constant. I head back towards the bedroom and my wife meets me. “You’d better come look out the window.”

Raised blinds reveal tree branches bunched up against the glass like a herd of tweens pressing on the stage at the latest boy band concert.  Somewhere under that mass of limbs are two vehicles, but it’s too dark and wet to fix anything tonight, so I go back to bed. I see flashlight beams outside as the neighbors survey the damage, but I know I’ll need sleep to tackle whatever morning brings. It’s good to be a man.

Dawn breaks and my eyelids crack open. Check the outage map on my phone and it’s not just my house. Half the city is down. The driveway is blocked by a thicket of fallen tree. I spot a bird’s nest in the rubble. At least we had it better than the bird. Nothing heavy landed on our house, or the in-law’s house, but others weren’t so lucky. One neighbor’s power line is lying across the road, the riser bent horizontal. One end of the road is blocked by a tree. One house is crumpling beneath an uprooted oak.  I’m gonna need a chain saw.

I get to Home Depot early, hoping they have electricity and there’s still a chain-saw or two left. I almost go for the battery operated one before remembering I have no way to charge anything.  I meet my neighbor, a Russian who moved his family here from the West Coast to escape the insanity of the progressives, in the chain saw aisle. He’s never used one before, but Vasily is a competent guy. He’ll figure it out. He gets the biggest one they have. I get the cheapest one they have and buy the replacement warranty. We leave with our chainsaws. It’s good to be a man.

Hottest week of the year. Humidity like a tropical jungle and the sun like a searchlight. Driveway first. Break out the cars. The Jeep starts right up and reverses out of the mess. It has some new character, like a damaged hood and broken fender and busted headlight and a passenger door that won’t open. The leaves sticking in through the side of the windshield is a nice decorative touch. But the 5.7 Hemi doesn’t even hesitate and she comes through again for me. The Acura isn’t so lucky. The back windshield is shattered and the trunk is caved in. I loved that little red car, but something tells me I won’t be driving her anymore. Time to see if the new water pump did the trick so we can get the kids somewhere safe and cool for a bit in the van. Success! Man, it’s good to be a man.

Sweat burns my eyes and my muscles are shaking. Enough sawing and chopping: time for the tractor. With the bucket down I don’t even need to shift into low gear for the Bobcat to push the brush up into piles. It can be sorted later. Right now it’s time to get the most done in the shortest amount of time. Across the street, Susie pulls up to the house she and her husband bought in 1967. He passed away last year and she just moved to a condo, her house already under contract. We pull a tree off her roof.

Helping others is more than repaid when a group of firemen pull up to see what they can do to help. Two sharpen chains while three tackle downed trees. Watching these twenty year old guys work reminds me that I’m not twenty anymore, but I’m not defensive. “Anything else we can do? We’re just here to help.” “As much as you want!” Let the young guys tackle ground stuff. I’m going to take my tractor and liberate a powerline.

It’s been about ten hours. My heart, over 25% larger than my wife’s heart (even adjusted for overall body size), outputs massive oxygen to my aching muscles. Even though they aren’t used to this kind of work, I can lift logs and tree branches that my wife would struggle to roll. My sweat comes out faster than hers would, cooling my body. I will lose more water in the heat than she could without collapsing before needing to replenish. My skin is thicker and rougher, more resistant to tears as I wade through the wake of the storm. Testosterone kicks in, pushing me to work harder and later than is wise or reasonable. It’s good to be a man.

Time to stop for the day. Still no electric, but a generator provides enough power for the fridge and one window unit. The older kids stay with their Nana and Papa while we lay in front of the fan, the baby close by. Sweet is the sleep of a laboring man. At 4AM the power kicks back on. Three cheers for City Utilities, then back to sleep to the sweet hum of the central AC unit. Morning breaks and the neighborhood is still a hive of activity. Every pickup, every bucket truck, and every lineman a male. Every tree trimmer a man. Every chain-saw operator (save one) a man. Every fireman a man. The neighborhood is functional again because of men. Men can restore or destroy, repair or ruin, create or quash, design or dissolve.  But we cannot be neutral. It will be one or the other. Today was a good day to be a man. Today we chose well.

Three days later and power is restored. Houses, some bent and twisted, have been relieved of their facial hair. Faces are red, tempers are short, and the brush piles tall. This man is ready for a hot meal and a cold drink. For running feet and baby giggles. For a night at home with family. The ones we come home to are the reason why why the power is back on, why the driveway is clear, why the neighborhood is functioning, and why it’s good to be a man.

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The First Financial Lesson

What is the first financial lesson you should teach your children? I’ve been contemplating this one for a while now. I even picked up a book on the topic (on clearance, so being a good steward with my resources!) at a local Christian bookstore. Isn’t it a bit ironic that they had to mark this book down to $3 to get it off their shelves, when we live in a culture that knows so little about financial stewardship?

When I think about raising my children in such a way that they will avoid unnecessary pain and suffering in their adult lives, I am certain that financial stewardship must be one of the lessons. Not too long ago I got to help one of the young men in my church buy his first car. He had no concept of basic financial concepts, like what his budget allowed, how interest rates work, etc… Watching him about to walk onto a car lot was like watching an innocent fed to lions. In pre-marital counseling, I almost always discover that the couple has not had any discussions about their financial future. In marital counseling, I find that because they had no discussions about their financial future, they are anxious and fighting, and usually in debt. In other words, my perception is that most people have no clue about how to handle money.

This post isn’t really a how-to on that sort of thing. I’m also not holding myself up as any sort of financial guru. I’m not a Dave Ramsey guy or a Larry Burkett guy, although I think Money Matters has some good resources. Sometimes, I think the guys who tell you how to handle your money are kinda like this guy:

But I do have younger children who I want to train up in this area of life. I don’t want to wait until they are about to leave the house and then say, “By the way, let’s have a little chat about money.” I think it needs to be progressive instruction in the various elements of financial stewardship. So my question to myself is, “What is the first step?”

Here’s what I came up with: GENEROSITY. The first lesson I want to teach my children is that money is not the thing we acquire to get what we want, but the thing we acquire that allows us to express love to our family, our church, and our community.

What I like about this approach is that it is holistically redemptive (yeah, that’s a real phrase). I don’t want to teach my kids financial stewardship so that they can become better misers, or better worldlings, or any kind of a better sinner. The love of money really is the root of all kinds of evils when money is a self-centered thing. The only way (I see) to avoid that is by seeing money as a means to loving others.

Growing up in a missionary home, we didn’t have a lot of extra money. But I don’t remember a time when we didn’t give. We gave to the church offering. We gave to missionaries. We gave to others who needed it. I unconsciously adopted the idea that the very reason I had money was to give it away. Which is good, because I also started making money from a young age, and got reasonably good at it. But generosity saved me from the love of money.

Pancake breakfast to raise money for the Children’s Hunger Fund

So start by teaching your kids to be generous. Teach them to work hard so that they have to give to others. Make giving a regular part of their lives. Pick a particular cause and have a yard sale or a bake sale or a neighborhood pancake breakfast where ALL the money goes towards someone or something else. Let them experience the joy of giving and develop a taste for it early.

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Terminal Pre-natal Diagnosis: Choosing Life

For the last several years we have made it a rule that I attend doctor appointments with Katie. It seems like when I do, everything is fine and my presence is unnecessary, whereas when I don’t, some terrible doom is pronounced. This trend began a couple of days after Christmas in 2020, when Katie went to review the 20 week ultrasound we had done a couple of days before Christmas. Since we had chosen not to use the doctor/hospital we had used with our three previous children, the ultrasound was performed outside the clinic. We spent several days in ignorant bliss, assuming that all was well, when in fact the ultrasound had revealed a significant cardiac condition in our little girl. So I sent my wife off to what we thought was a routine exam but turned out to be a life altering pronouncement.

I blogged regularly over the next twelve weeks as we visited specialists and made almost-weekly trips to a children’s hospital in Kansas City. You can find those by searching for “Penny” on the blog, as that is the name we gave to the little girl growing inside of Katie, fighting for life with a heart rate of only forty-five beats per minute.

For over twelve weeks we watcher her little heart beat on echo-cardiograms, praying, willing, and wishing it to improve. We met seven different cardiologists – not by choice – but because the clinic at the children’s hospital had a rotation. This gave us the opportunity to experience seven different cardiologists alternately awkwardly, emotionally, or matter-of-factly telling us that there was no change and it was unlikely that Penny would live. All of this was during Covid, so we could only see eyes and hear voices. I still wouldn’t know most of the medical staff if I met them on the street.

I don’t think anyone at anytime brought up the subject of terminating the pregnancy. I was prepared for that conversation but I suppose by our attitude, and possibly because of the medical partners we chose, that everyone understood we were willing to accept whatever God had in store for us.

One feature of the secular world-view is that we can all be whatever we want to be. We cann assign our own meaning to ourselves and others based purely on the desires and thoughts of our heart. This type of thinking has been around for decades as I remember sitting through a literature class in the 90’s which was being taught by a relatively young guy who had graduated from Stamford. As we were discussing a particular passage, I made the comment that I thought his interpretation was pretty unlikely based on what we knew about the author, to which he responded (paraphrasing), “Why do we have to limit ourselves to what the author thinks?” There was probably only about fifteen feet between us, but we were worlds apart in our thinking. He thought the world created by the author was up for any interpretation. I thought that if someone took the time to write, we should at least try to figure out what he meant.

The modern world hates the idea of authorial intent. From the way we interpret literature to the way we interpret the Constitution to the way we talk about our bodies, there is a world of difference between those who use words to describe what is and those who use words to attempt to reshape the nature of existence. To describe Penny as a human being is me describing what is, not what I want. To use language to obscure the reality that unborn babies are fully human and made in the image of God is a modern invention to justify the sinful fears and desires of the heart.

For there to be a standard – just weights and measurements – there has to be something objective. Something that exists outside the scope of what is under discussion. For there to be any real meaning in life, there has to be a God assigning fixed and certain values and making immutable pronouncements. If there is no God, we all become as gods, knowing the difference between good and evil. Except, of course, we don’t, because the terms themselves become meaningless.

I think it is possible – although I never asked and don’t really want to know – that there were folks in the medical community who were willing to treat Penny as a human being because that’s how we regarded her. But it’s possible that those same folks would have treated her as a lump of cells if that is what her mom considered her. I find this kind of thinking…unsatisfactory. When mankind becomes the arbiter of Truth, truth ceases to exist in any meaningful way. When humanity rises up to become as gods, it doesn’t look like dominion: it looks like domination. Every unborn baby has a certain and fixed value -regardless of whether his parents want him and regardless of whether her mom considers her a blob of cells- because that unborn baby’s nature is assigned by God, not by man.

This reality is getting harder to deny as technological improvements have allowed us to see the development of unborn babies. No longer do ultrasound images have the clarity of grainy images of a supposed Big Foot caught on someone’s trail cam. We can see these little living human beings smiling, wiggling, holding their hands, sucking their fingers, stretching, and looking likely tiny little version of what they will look like post-partum. But make no mistake: technology has not re-assigned their value; technology has only revealed to rebellious mankind what God revealed long ago with perfect clarity.

As week 33 of pregnancy approached, we began having discussions with the medical team about what delivery would look like. By this point there were so many different medical personnel involved that it was hard to keep every-body and every medical pronouncement straight in my brain. When I asked about whether they would try to induce labor early so that they could begin medical intervention, the response went something like this, “Mr. Beal, any thing that we can do outside of the womb will be more stressful on your baby’s heart than what your wife’s body is providing for her. There is nowhere safer for your baby than where she is right now.” My great hope is that the womb will always be the safest place for the unborn, not the dock in which the unborn wait while other human agencies determine whether they will live or die.

Communion Meditation

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July 2023

Joh 8:34-36

Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.  And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.  If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

In a couple of days we will be celebrating the 4th of July, which will be the 247th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. As we become more historically distant from the actual events of the founding of the USA, it is easy for the celebrations to become detached from their historical significance. We have to remind ourselves of the tremendous sacrifice, courage, and clarity of purpose which were required from not only the founding fathers with whom we are all familiar, but also the ordinary citizen and soldier whose name goes unremembered. Celebrating national accomplishments and ideals is a civic virtue and entirely appropriate for a republic such as ours to rehearse and celebrate.

How much more ought the church to strive to remember the events of 2,000 years ago, when a far greater and lasting freedom was purchased at an even greater sacrifice. Yes, it was a greater sacrifice than even the death of a soldier. For the soldier would have died at some point anyway, and his early death robbed him of a few decades of life that would have otherwise been his. But the Captain of our Salvation stepped out of eternity into time for the express purpose of tasting death for every man. He did not have to die at all, much less die the painful and shameful death of crucifixion. The soldier died that we might live our earthly lives free from tyranny, but our Savior died that we might have everlasting life, free from the bondage of sin.

On the 4th of July, we will salute the flag that stands for our great Republic. But this morning, as on so many mornings, the citizens of heaven raise the blood of the New Covenant and taste the Bread of Life to remember that every earthly slave who has been bought by the blood of Christ has more liberty than the freest citizen of any earthly democracy who is still enslaved to sin. So come hungry, and welcome to Christ.  

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Cancer and Pregnancy: Choosing Life

During the summer of 2020, in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, and at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Two days later I found out I was pregnant. Although I was thankful to be blessed with a pregnancy, it was also a terrifying time. I did not know how this pregnancy would or would not affect my treatment options.

For the first time, the pro-abortion argument, “what about when the pregnancy affects the mother’s health?” became real to me.  Does this apply to me? Am I going to make a life altering decision based on my pro-life beliefs?

My OB was the first to bring up ‘termination’. Shocked to find out I was pregnant and had cancer, she told me I should consider getting some prenatal genetic testing done to see if this was a viable pregnancy.  She explained if my pregnancy was not viable or ideal, we could terminate it to make sure I had all my treatment options readily available without the complication of pregnancy.    

With my first child I had declined prenatal genetic testing because I knew there were no test results which could change my birthing plans. I was also worried about false-positives and the fear they could cause.  I would have the baby no matter what. If my child was to be born with a genetic abnormality, we would figure it out and accept what God had given us.  This second pregnancy, although complicated with cancer, was no different.

I was seven weeks pregnant when I had my first breast surgery. My medical team was so careful and reassured me over and over they were going to do everything possible to care for me and the seven-week-old life inside me. The medical team congratulated me on my pregnancy and reassured me that I was in the best hands. While in the pre-operating room, I couldn’t help but think about how a baby at seven weeks is so tiny, about the size of a coffee bean. I thought about how so many babies’ lives are ended at this same gestational age. *A study from 2016 showed that about 65% of abortions in the U.S. occurred during the 8th week of pregnancy or earlier. The lives ended in those abortions were no different than the life which was growing inside me. The only difference I could think of was that my baby was wanted. I wondered if the same medical staff who congratulated me on my pregnancy would also think it was ok to end the life inside me. The life they were currently striving to preserve.

I found it ironic that women are required to take a pregnancy test in pre-op to make sure they are not unknowingly pregnant before going into a surgery; yet as soon as the surgery is over, they can schedule an abortion if they choose. The test is done using a urine sample. My cup of urine sat at the end of my hospital bed for an awkward amount of time. Each staff member commented on how they could get it tested, but once I notified them I was certainly pregnant, they turned their attention elsewhere. So there my urine sat.

For the most part the surgery was successful. It was a full mastectomy on my left side. My breast was gone, and I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed with that side, but an ultrasound assured us our baby was healthy and growing. Pathology showed chemotherapy was not needed, and the cancer had not spread to any lymph nodes.  A few weeks after surgery I was surprised when my surgeon called to inform me that a detailed pathology report showed the surgical margins were not clear.  This means cancer cells were found very close or on the border of the tissue they removed, and ultimately, I needed another surgery or radiation to make sure all the cancer cells were gone and could not grow.

I learned, for the most part, surgeries and some forms of chemotherapy are safe during pregnancy. However, radiation and hormone therapy are not considered safe during pregnancy. I had already endured one surgery and my team was concerned another surgery would be too stressful for my baby. I didn’t need chemotherapy, and radiation was not an option while pregnant. My cancer was a hormone fed cancer and I needed hormone blocking therapy to deprive the cancer of its ability to grow. However, my baby also needed my hormones to grow. Because of this, essential treatments had to wait until after the baby was born. 

It was during this conversation my surgeon asked if I still wanted to continue with the pregnancy. There were two very different routes I could take. If I were to terminate my pregnancy, we would do another surgery, radiation, and then start me on an antiestrogen drug right away. This would be the more assertive cancer fighting path. If I chose to continue my pregnancy, then we would take the “wait-and-see” approach.  

I did not need to think about this for long. I had already been trying to protect the life inside me and there was no way I would end it now.

I continued with my pregnancy, but the “wait-and-see” approach resulted in my cancer returning when I was 36 weeks pregnant.  My cancer had come back and was more aggressive. I now needed chemotherapy. I was induced into labor and delivered my daughter. A few short weeks later I started chemotherapy with my newborn at home. I had another surgery when she was 6 months old and learning to roll. When she was 8 months old, and learning to crawl, I had 6 weeks of daily intense radiation which caused painful burns and scars. I had my last injection of an immunotherapy drug to finish my active treatment around her 1st birthday.

I am here today with a happy, healthy 2-year-old and I’m proud to say I’m cancer free and done with most treatments. I chose sacrifice. I postponed treatments and yes, I experienced suffering, but both our lives were preserved. 2021 was a hard year for my family.

I still think about the day I realized I was pregnant. It was clear to me God was blessing us with a beautiful, new life in the midst of a terrible disease. To do anything other than postpone my treatment would have been selfish. Choosing termination would put myself and my life before my daughter’s – the opposite of motherly love.

In motherhood we make sacrifices. We sacrifice our body, our energy, our time. True love is sacrificial. 1 Corinthians 13 talks about true agape love. Agape love is not concerned with self. Agape love desires the good of others.  We are told to love one another and emulate Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2). I chose to love the life inside me more than ease, comfort, and preservation of my own life.  The ultimate sacrificial love was displayed by Christ on the cross. He lived a life of perfection and then died a gruesome death – taking the place for us and our sin.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

I could write on and on, and give many more details from my story. I learned so much these last three years about suffering, faith, love, compassion, and sacrifice. I have been told one day I’m going to look back and feel thankful for the trial. I am not all the way there yet. However, I am truly thankful for my sweet daughter, Abigail Joy. I cannot imagine our family or a life without her. She came with the cancer diagnosis and the two couldn’t be separated, so in fact: I am thankful for cancer.   

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1071200/gestational-age-abortions-us-distribution/

Thank you, Tiffany, for sharing your story on this blog! For those who want to know more or may be going through this same journey, Tiffany shared her experience in real time through her Youtube channel.

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The Pro-Life Position

I thought I would take some time during the month of June to write about the pro-life position to which I hold. It is my hope that some on the “other side” would read this and think about it, so particularly in this first post I am going to lay out a foundational, logical case for being pro-life. Throughout the month I hope to write about my own pro-life experience and address some of the objections to the pro-life position. None of this is particularly original to me, but maybe this can be a primer of sorts.

The most potent case for being pro-life is in the syllogism below. Again, this is nothing original to me. In fact, this syllogism was used by Seth Dillon in his time on the Joe Rogan Experience. The way a syllogism like this works is that there is a major premise followed by a minor premise which leads to a conclusion. In this form of deductive reasoning, the conclusion must be true if both premises are true. So here is the pro-life syllogism.

Premise 1 – It is wrong to kill an innocent human being.

Premise 2 – Abortion kills an innocent human being.

Conclusion – Therefore, abortion is wrong.

Premise 1 – It is wrong to kill an innocent human life.

I think this is a pretty incontrovertible statement. Even those who, philosophically, don’t believe in absolute moral truth, still functionally want to live in a society where this holds true. None of us want to live in a world where we are subject to the violent animosity of others without the benefit of social/legal protection. Nor do we want our toddlers or tweens or teens or grandkids living in such a world.

But I think that beyond the practical, there is a deep-seated instinct within humanity that understands that the taking of an innocent human life is a moral evil. Because man has been made in the image of God, taking the life of a human being is a different moral event than taking the life of a beast. So enshrined in the moral law of God is a simple but profound prohibition: Thou shalt not kill.

The “exceptions” are excepted in the premise by qualifying the statement to include “innocent”. We understand that in warfare, for example, soldiers die. But we also understand that it is morally reprehensible to target, say, women and children, while engaging in warefare. Another exception would be those who support the death penalty, because in such cases there is guilt, not innocence.

I don’t know of anyone who would argue (or how they would go about arguing) that the unborn are not innocent. In fact, the unborn represent the group least able to defend themselves against attack. They are not only without any kind of moral culpability, they are also without defensive capability. As such, they are the most innocent among us.

Premise 2 – Abortion kills an innocent human being.

The first proof I would give in support of the humanity of the unborn baby would be scientific. In the last fifty years our understanding of the human body has increased dramatically. Terms like embryo, zygote or fetus are simply descriptions of a human being in a different stage of development, but the science clearly indicates that unborn babies are distinct human beings from the time of conception. If one wanted to believe that at some point an unborn baby received a soul or qualified for personhood, they could not appeal to science for evidence. To the contrary, modern ultrasounds and sonograms and echocardiograms have contributed to our understanding of how early in development unborn babies display their individuality.

The second proof I would offer is logical. Let’s say a child is born today, June 1, 2023. Was that child a human being yesterday? It is hard to affirm logically that this same child, barely different in appearance or development over the course of 24 hours, somehow crossed a threshold that qualifies her to be “human” overnight. So what about the day before? What about the week before? As you can see, we can actually do this all the way back to the place where your life actually began. There was a time when you didn’t exist, and then there was a time when you did. How then can we draw a distinction between when the unborn are human vs something else?

The third proof I would offer is biblical. This line of evidence will obviously not be definitive for an unbeliever, but all Christians should affirm the dignity of the unborn, and all unbelievers should be cautious in dismissing ancient wisdom like this:

Psalm 139:13,15: For thou didst form my inward parts, thou didst knit me together in my mother’s womb. … [M]y frame was not hidden from thee, when I was being made in secret, intricately wrought in the depths of the earth.

Galatians 1:15: But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and had called me through his grace…

Genesis 9:5-6: “For your lifeblood I will surely require a reckoning; of every beast I will require it and of man; of every man’s brother I will require the life of man. Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for God made man in his own image.”

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Conclusion – Therefore, abortion is wrong.

This is the pro-life position in a nut-shell. It is true that none of this addresses the social complexities or legislative dilemmas surrounding this issue. But those are secondary to getting the heart of the issue right. Everyone who affirms that taking an innocent life is morally wrong and who acknowledges that the unborn are human beings must logically affirm that abortion is morally wrong.

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As Soon As…

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

2 Corinthians 4:7-11
  • As soon as I have time to settle that point of theology.
  • As soon as my kids are a little older and more self-sufficient.
  • As soon as we get through this next church activity (that is consuming my study and prayer time!)
  • As soon as we get the building paid off.
  • As soon as I can stop working two jobs.
  • As soon as life calms down a little bit.

This is when my human wisdom tells me I can be really fruitful for the Lord. As soon as. Imagine if the apostle Paul had lived in the “as soon as” mentality. As soon as my persecutions are over. As soon as a majority of the Jews are converted. As soon as I get a few more seminarians trained. As soon as all the apostles are on the same page. As soon as I have a really reliable team. As soon as the churches get their act together.

But this is not what we find. Instead, the apostle is in the midst of being troubled on every side, perplexed and persecuted, cast down and carrying about the suffering of Christ. And does this trouble him? No, he thinks that this is the plan. He thinks that God has ordained such a state of affairs specifically so that the heavenly treasure will not be mistaken for its earthly container. The chaotic fragility of our lives is allowing the power of God to be known in all of its excellency.

I find myself, even in mid-life, often confused about these things. Longing for a day when I can be truly fruitful for the Lord because all of life’s circumstances have suddenly fallen into place. Missing the daily joy of seeing God work in the midst of life’s relentless roadblocks despite my tiredness, despite my lack of eloquence, even my lack of ability. Maybe I need a new set of “as soon as” statements.

  • As soon as I stop believing that I am the one who brings fruit.
  • As soon as I start enjoying the journey as much as I long for the destination.
  • As soon as I see the blessings God has given instead of longing for the ones He hasn’t.  
  • As soon as I realize that I will always be an earthen vessel, and the excellency of the power will always belong to God.
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On Ordaining Women, Part II – What is a Masculine Pulpit?

In my previous post about ordaining women to the pastorate, I tried to make the point that if you define the ideal pastor in feminine terms, you’re going to wind up with women wanting to be pastors, and they will actually be better at it than men (what with being women and all). If your job description is laden with descriptions that appeal to women, then you shouldn’t be surprised that women show up to fill out an application. So while it’s all well and good for Bible-believing Christians to simply say, “The Bible says a pastor should be a man, so that’s what we require”, there’s more to the story. If you try to hold the line on reserving the office of pastor for men while at the same time modeling a kind of feminine ministry, there will be consequences. You might wind up with frustrated masculine men because they are A) not every going to be considered for the pastorate, and/or B) never get to experience being led by a masculine pastor. You will wind up with fewer men in church generally because it turns out men will leave church when it starts to resemble a group therapy session. Or you might end up with masculine women because in the spirit of Genesis 3 they sense there is a real opportunity here to gain some authority over men.

But as several have cogently pointed out to me, I did not define or describe what a masculine pulpit looks like in my previous post. Certainly what has passed for masculine behavior in the past included ranting and raving from the pulpit about a variety of soap box issues, some of which involved people made in the image of God and for whom Christ died. I would agree that this not indicative of masculinity from the pulpit, but just because there’s such a thing as false/sinful masculinity, it doesn’t follow that we shouldn’t pursue biblical masculinity. So the premise of this post is simple:

If God intends the pastorate to be occupied by men, it is likely that the pastorate requires masculine virtues.

That seems to me to be a pretty logical conclusion. But before my keystrokes cause the incense of burnt tire in your nostrils as the rubber meets the road, here is a necessary disclaimer. Men and women are more alike than they are different. This is a biblical truth and a truth borne out in the daily lives of 7 billion people. Men and women are made in the image of God and so they have overlapping virtues and vices. It would be difficult to say something of masculinity that doesn’t also apply in some lesser measure to feminity and vice versa (with the exception of a woman’s ability to have children). So as I speak of a masculine pulpit, of course some joker out there is going to say, “But women can be _________, too!” Yes, and indeed. Men and women both share a set of personality potentials because they are both made in the image of God. And yet, for all their similarities, the differences really do matter, as the Word of God testifies.

So what is a masculine pastor? Well we can reject out of hand any caricature or perversion of masculinity that Scripture rejects. To be masculine is not to be “Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast. One route for getting a clue to masculinity is to look to the biological markers that distinguish men from women. For example, after puberty, men average roughly 20X the testosterone level of women. The male body is larger, denser, and has more muscle mass than a woman’s body. It seems men are built for action, for confrontation, for resiliency, and for strength.

My suggestion is that all of this indicates that men are to be ambitious and assertive, not to mention adventurous and audacious. And it’s not only because all those words start with the letter A, as if I was watching too much Sesame Street lately. There are a cluster of “hard” virtues that men are to exhibit, and which our culture has either demonized in the name of “male toxicity” or downplayed to a point that they become irrelevant. In a carnal man, these attributes are self-serving and destructive. But in the hand of the Redeemer, the wild world is tamed and families are protected and civilizations are built by these virtues.

The absence of these hard virtues results in a pastor makes the pulpit far too passive. I think “passive” is a word that fits the modern Western church. Where we should be leading, we have become followers. Where we should be confronting, we are compromising. Where we should be bold, we are obsequious. The New Testament remarks multiple times of the boldness of the apostles to preach the gospel in the face of fierce opposition and persecution. And the gospel they preached wasn’t confined to a worship hour on Sunday: it was the gospel for fathers, the gospel for wives, the gospel for children, the gospel for slaves, the gospel for masters, and the gospel for governors. It was a gospel that had Jesus at its center but proclaimed the Lordship of Christ over every aspect of life. So we can’t excuse ourselves by retreating into a “gospel center” theology where the gospel is the size of a pinball and the rest of life is the size of the galaxy. Perhaps we should listen to some words from our Presbyterian friends:

The Christian is to resist the spirit of the world. But when we say this, we must understand that the world-spirit does not always take the same form. So the Christian must resist the spirit of the world in the form it takes in his own generation. If he does not do this, he is not resisting the spirit of the world at all.

The God Who Is There, Francis Schaeffer

“In these times, let us remember the stages that our evangelical leaders have brought us through:

1. There will not be any need to fight.

2. There may come a time when it necessary to fight.

 3. It is too early to fight.

4. It is too late to fight. This is a post-Christian era.

Doug Wilson, Twitter

The absence of these hard virtues in the pulpit is reflected in many cases by a lack of these hard virtues in the pew. The roux from which the sauce is made is the family, and there is a huge amount of statistical data depicting the sad decline of male participation in the family. Were we able to statistically capture the presence of male headship in the family, do any of really doubt that we would see a corresponding decline, even in families where men are active? We have spent the last several decades telling men that they are to be “servant leaders” without telling them that the way they serve is by leading.

If you promote a masculine pulpit you will have to weed out the power hungry, the perpetually angry, and the brawlers. But you’re always going to have to weed something out. There is a reason that a man is to attain the pastorate, not be given the pastorate. What the church cannot afford is passivity in the pulpit. As a matter of fact, my greatest ministry regrets are not the times I did something clumsily or counseled someone indistinctly, but rather the times I did nothing and said nothing. I regret my passivity far more than I regret anything I actually attempted out of a desire to serve God or love people. (Of course, there are times when my motives were self-serving and carnal, and any fruit sprouting from such seeds is bound to be corrupt).

A few years ago, a church member told me that she was praying that God would give me a “Timothy”. In other words, a young man who would be useful to me in the ministry and that I could train/mentor. My response was that I, also, would like that, but on the condition that he be the kind of young man that I had to rein in, not prod to action. I would rather say, “You shouldn’t have done that” or “a better way to do that would have been …” rather than have to motivate him to do something (I am speaking here not of essentially moral actions, but of ministry activities). I would rather temper a fire that exists than have to walk around with a gasoline can trying to start it.

In the next post – Lord willing – one final thought on the issue of the masculine pastor.

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On Ordaining Women to the Pastorate

The SBC has officially excommunicated disassociated Saddleback Church from its fellowship as a result of Saddleback’s ordination of women to the office of pastor. I am not a member of the SBC and have little understanding of its internal workings, so there is no commentary from me on that subject. But as a pastor, and one who tries to do it biblically, the issue of women being ordained to the office of bishop/elder/pastor is of significance and importance.

 While I also have no personal experience with Saddleback Church, they – along with their founding pastor Rick Warren – have a very public ministry. The Purpose Driven Church  was, sadly, a textbook in my Ecclesiology class in Bible College (just writing that sentence hurts my heart). The follow up book, The Purpose Driven Life, became a best-seller. So the ministry philosophy of Saddleback Church has been intentionally packaged and sold as a template for others to follow. In a tweet responding to getting the boot from the SBC, Warren notes just how influential Saddleback is (as if to say “Who needs the SBC?”) by stating their newsletter reaches 600,000 church leaders, one million alumni pastors list, and 11 million social media followers.

I’m going to limit some observations to the issue of women being ordained to the office of pastor, but its worth questioning at the outset whether the foundational philosophy of ministry didn’t orient this church to this outcome a long time ago. In other words, I don’t think you can say, “Well, we can follow the ministry philosophy of Saddleback and just NOT ordain women to the pastorate and all will be well.” As surely as Bird and Magic were destined to meet in the post season, so the ministry of Saddleback was destined to cave on this issue.

I think it’s fair to say that many see Rick Warren as a pastor to pattern themselves afterSuccess – or what appears to be success – has that effect. Warren has been influential in shaping the idea of what a good pastor is like, how he should conduct himself, etc… In fact, he might represent the product that many Bible Colleges and Seminaries wish to produce in a pastor, and its clear by his response that he thinks others should follow in his footsteps. Just as Teddy Roosevelt in many ways reshaped and then defined the role of President, Rick Warren has reshaped and then defined the role of Pastor.

So what is that shape? What mark has Warren left on the role of Pastor? My argument is that we can best answer that question by looking at those who are going to fill it. What kind of person fits in that space the best? In other words, if Rick Warren has shaped the pastorate and is now retiring, what shaped puzzle piece is going to fit in that void he will leave? We don’t have to wonder because it is happening in the present. The person who fills that space the best (or at least equally best) is a woman.

This issue is larger than one church, but because of its public ministry it is easy to see at Saddleback. The point I’m trying to make (probably very poorly) is endemic to Evangelicalism. We are treating the issue of whether or not women should be ordained to the office of Pastor as a standalone issue, when in fact it is simply the concluding chapter to a long story we have been writing. And it’s the kind of story that would fit in real well with the Amish Romance novels and Joyce Meyer Bible studies down at your local Christian bookstore

You see, the die is already cast. We have destined this outcome by creating a pastoral paradigm that actually best fits a woman, not a man. And if we have shaped the office of Pastor with curves in all the right places, what right do we have to tell a woman who happens to have just such curves that she can’t occupy that office? How can we tell women they cannot be pastors when we have spent the better part of the last half century creating just such a role? In a way, it would be unjust to deny ordination to a woman at Saddleback after Warren spent so much time making sure that a women would succeed best in that role.

So if Evangelical-types really want to hold the line on the issue of ordaining women to the pastorate, we are going to have to dig deeper to uproot the effeminate pastoral paradigm that we have been cultivating in our churches. If we want our pulpits to be filled only by men, then we must demand that our pulpits be masculine. The longer we encourage or even tolerate effeminate pulpits, the more likely (and in reality fitting) it will be when that pulpit will belong to a woman.  

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The Lord Shut Him In

I don’t like tight spaces. The first time I remember panicking was when, during a sleepover at my buddy’s house, we were playing some sort of hide and seek game. I had found a cubbyhole to hide in and my pal, attempting to help me, blocked the entrance with a bunch of pillows so no one could see me. It was silly, but I panicked. That was a long time ago and my mild claustrophobia is largely under control. But I am a little embarrassed to admit that were I to be given a free ticket for an adventure to outer space, it’s likely that my distaste for being confined to a tiny ship with a limited air supply might over rule the desire for the adventure of a lifetime and an opportunity to see the heavens from a new perspective.

Being shut in is associated with pain and punishment. Children are “grounded” for disobedience. Criminals are locked up. The sick and infirm are quarantined. When liberty is curtailed, we feel it as a punishment. Confinement is associated with a debilitated condition and a lowering of happiness. So when I read the phrase “the Lord shut him in”, it struck me. For the one being shut in was the one man on the earth who had found grace in the eyes of the Lord.

And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in. 

Genesis 7:16

Because God was pleased with Noah, He shut him in. Because Noah was righteous in his generation, God confined him to an ark. For forty days the intensity of the deluge that soaked the world beyond the ark was manifested as an unceasing reverberation within it, until it pressed upon their minds like a wet blanket and they forgot the distinctness of each other’s voices or the cheerfulness of a bird’s song. The day the rains ceased must have been like awakening from a drugged stupor as sounds became crisp and the fog of white noise dissipated. They didn’t know that it would be another 9 months before the ark would give birth to the future of man and animal kind.

Escape. That must have been what it felt like. I can’t imagine feeling any other way. It would be an escape to get off the ark. To walk beneath blue skies stretched like an infinite canopy above. To trace the contours of the earth until they dipped into the horizon, knowing that the their feet could now carry them to such places. To breathe air that hadn’t been filtered through the zoo that lived at arm’s reach. To wander with no purpose but to wander.

How hard it must have been to remember that the Lord shutting them in was gracious, not punitive. How easily their compass would spin and they would desire to escape the ark, forgetting that the ark was their escape from the wrath that had overtaken the whole earth. How tempting to grumble at unusually difficult circumstances instead of being grateful for unusually powerful salvation.

The Lord had shut him in. Shut him in with the seeds of all future life on planet earth. Shut him in with the animal kinds that would once again teem upon the earth and fill the heavens and nurture the ground and declare the glory of God in an infinite number of absurdities and dangers. Shut him in with the ancestors of 8 billion human beings who would one day build cities and cure cancer and write blog posts, win glory and bear shame, kill and be killed, love and be loved. Shut him in with the understanding that the ark was a place of safety when everywhere else was a place of destruction.

I still don’t like tight places. Especially when the air is stale and there’s no telling when the doors will open and release will come. But I do know that there are times when being shut in is redemptive, not punitive. There are times when, like a madman, we long for release from the very vehicle of our hope and salvation. There are days we forget that the reason we cannot run as far as our hearts would carry us is because we have been entrusted with seeds of future hope and glory. We must learn to be content when God shuts us in.

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How to Establish a Christian Household, Part 2

In Part 1 of this series, I gave a basic definition of a household and what makes it distinctly Christian. With this foundation, we’re well on our way to figuring out the nuts and bolts of establishing a Christian household. But first, let me give you a basic example/test of whether or not you have a household at all.

Depending on your own circumstances you may have to use your imagination for this, but the basic question is, “Do your children need your permission to date/court/engage in a romantic relationship?” If you have a true household, the issue of who else gets brought into it is significant. If a father doesn’t actually give his daughter in marriage, then it indicates that his daughter in no way belongs to his household. If it’s purely ceremonial, then something is off.

2 Paths to Christian Households

The first, and easier, path to having a Christian household is to establish it that way from the start. Husband and wife are both on the same page regarding the rule of Christ in the home and children are brought up to know the Way. Once the foundation is laid, the house can be built up pretty quickly with the right structure to it. And while this path will not be devoid of any obstacles, at least the expectations are clear from the start.

The second, and harder, path to having a Christian household is to realize the necessity of doing so halfway down a different road, which means turning around, undoing a lot of stuff, and getting to where you should have been all along. But don’t let that stop you. If you are ten years into a marriage and starting to realize that what you really have is a few sinners living under the same roof and chasing their own agenda, then you should start where you are at.

If you are on this second path, you will have to exercise more patience. You will exasperate your children if, after you have been discipling them to be good little heathens for the past 10 years, you suddenly demand them to act like good little Christians. You may have to gauge the speed at which you move based on how much whiplash you are causing. But what will help the whole enterprise is if you, without saying a word, become more present for your family. If your kids notice that you are less interested in yourself and more interested in how they are doing, or if your wife begins to notice that her husband is getting easier to live with, then the whole enterprise has a pretty decent shot of success.

Roles

Since Christian households have a structure, an easy place to influence your household to become Christian is by intentionally, prayerfully, humbly, and cheerfully accepting the role that you are meant to play. This means going back to the basic designations of husband, wife, father, and children and following the household constitution.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

Ephesians 5:22-6:4

A Christian wife is commanded to submit to her husband. A Christian husband is commanded to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the Church. Christian children are commanded to obey their parents. And a Christian father is commanded to raise his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

No personality test is needed. No compatibility surveys required. These are basic commands and fundamental roles meant to establish structure in the home. In a home where the obedience of children is not required, truth and virtue are not communicated from generation to generation. In a home where a wife does not submit to her husband, the Lordship of Christ is not evident. In a household where a husband/father treats his family as a means to achieving his own pleasures, the spirit of Christ is absent.

Depending on how many household members are believers, at minimum you – dear reader – can do your part. I doubt anyone has gotten past reading the Ephesians passage quoted at length above if they are not a believer, which means you can adopt your God ordained role in your household even if others do not. A husband is to love his wife whether or not his wife is lovely or loveable, and a wife is to submit to her husband (insofar as it does not conflict with her obedience to Christ) whether he is worthy of such obedience or not. If you happen to be a minor in your household and you have unbelieving parents, honoring them instead of defying them is in your job description.

In other words, start with yourself.

Practical Steps to Take

Start by memorizing and praying about the role you have to play in your household. Depending on the age of your children, it might be appropriate to read a key passage regarding the Christian household once a week and even having a family project to memorize those passages.

Communicate your desire to live as a Christian within your household to your household. While this might seem like setting yourself up for failure, it’s better to be clear about what you are doing. If you are one of those who are coming around to establishing a Christian household late, it is wise and loving to tell the other members of your household what you are doing. Such a conversation from a husband might look like the below:

I want to let all of you know that lately I have been thinking more about what it means to be a husband and father, and that I realize I haven't been doing a good job of it. So I want to apologize to you all for that and ask for your forgiveness. I am beginning to understand that I will have to give an answer to God one day regarding the kind of husband and father I have been. I hope you will see a difference in me over the coming months and that means that there may be some changes in how our family functions. I would appreciate your support and prayers and please feel free to talk to me about these changes.

The basic idea is to know, establish, and communicate what your household is all about. Or at minimum, what you perceive your role in your household to be. Establish the standard, and then learn to love the standard.

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How to Establish a Christian Household

Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow-citizens with the saints, and of the household of God; 

Ephesians 2:19

I would like to make the case today (and perhaps in some coming posts) about the need for Christians to begin to think differently about their families. Christians, in particular husbands, need to make it their goal to establish Christian households. Instead of launching into all the reasons for this, let’s start with the basics of what a household is and what makes it Christian in nature.

What is a Household?

The Word “household” is important. It’s an old word but an even older concept, dating back to cultures that acknowledged and valued the existence of a social construct greater than the individual. It’s no wonder that this term seems outdated since the individual-unfettered and unencumbered- is the inspiration of modernity. The New Testament Greek word “οἰκεῖος” is more than a house; it is a household.

A household typically consists of family members working in cooperation towards the good of all those living within its borders. Most households began with a marriage and expanded to children, but extended family could become a part of it as well. Households could persists over generations and turn into nations, or through poor management or calamity pass away within one or two generations. Abraham’s household consisted of his wife, his nephew, and his servants/slaves. These all worked for the good of the household and derived their safety and prosperity from its well-being. Joseph became the head of his family household even before his father died (although Jacob was always honored as the patriarch) and invited his brothers and their families into it, eventually becoming a nation.

While it is true that there is no New Testament command to establish households, the reality of households is acknowledged frequently (1 Cor 1:16, 2 Tim 4:19). It would have been very difficult for the writers of the NT to conceive of the need to command households when their existence seemed self evident and assured. The commands to family members in Ephesians 5-6 is written in the format of a Roman household constitution. The keeping of many NT commands is either simplified or necessitated by the establishment of households, especially in the matter of caring for one’s own (1 Tim 5:4-9) and raising one’s children in the faith (Eph 6:4) This concept also helps us understand how the salvation of the head of a household would naturally result in the baptism of all household members into the faith (Acts 16:15).

A household is similar to a family, but implies a greater dimension of intentionality and responsibility. A family can be a family by accident (she happens to be my mom, etc…) but a household is established, built, and maintained. A household has a hierarchy and a necessity of cooperation and a culture that can be tasted. To be a household, a marriage must be more than a legally sanctioned “roommates with benefits” situation. Children must be more than boarders. Modern parenting is poison to the establishment of a household because the child is left exposed to the world to find his way instead of being disciplined in the values and traditions of the household. While the modern concept of the family is based upon association and feeling, the household is built upon genuine mutuality and cooperation in ways that are tangible.

If this all sounds a little stiff and hierarchical and heavy, then good. A household has weight because a household has substance. If your family looks like 4 people moving in different directions who happen to come together for a few meals a week, then you need to start thinking about establishing a household.

What is a Christian Household?

So what exactly is a “Christian” household? I would suggest 2 things. The first is that Christ is explicitly acknowledged as Lord. The persecution of the Church in the early centuries by the Romans boiled down to whether Caesar was Lord or Christ was Lord. Those who gave up their lives unto death did so because they refused to acknowledge Caesar as Lord. A Christian household has a clear understanding that Christ is Lord of the household.

The second feature is the practical reality of Christ’s Lordship. The Lordship of Christ must have more significance than some decorative wall art. The reality of Christ’s Lordship can be seen firstly in the structure of the household. Husbands, wives, and children accept their God-given mandates. The weekly schedule of the household reflects an un-compromised commitment to the Lord’s Day. The rules of the household reflect the rules of Christ.

But all of that would lead to a pretty suffocating environment if it was undertaken in the spirit of legalism instead of the spirit of Christ. So Christ’s Lordship must be acknowledged and honored but Christ’s spirit must also indwell and energize. There should be copious amounts of joy and service should be cheerful. For someone who had only experienced family dysfunction and suffering, sharing an evening with a Christian family should have the feel of a fairy tale.

The modern world has managed to associate religion with something heavy and dreary, like a rainy day that ruins the park. They have managed to gloss over the fact that the only color in the medieval village was the stained glass on the chapel and that the days of rest and feasting were all holy days. The truth is that the world is a dreary place and Christians are the ones who figured out how to play in its puddles. To be a Christian household is to face the pain and suffering of life beneath the banner of our Conquering Captain.

Conclusion

You should start thinking about your family as a household. Stop being the victim of a thousand demands placed upon you by other institutions and interests and start establishing your own schedule based upon Christian priorities. Stop spending your money on pleasures and entertainment and start investing it in the members of your household. Stop letting your kids be brainwashed by the vapid ideology of others and start instructing them in Christian truth and values. Under the banner of Christ, build something substantive in this world.

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My Wife’s Apple Pie

A couple of weeks ago my wife made an apple pie for her dad’s birthday (at his request). It ended up being just the best apple pie you can imagine. Perfectly seasoned apple slices (a blend of Honeycrisp and Yellow Golden Delicious) had been softened to a perfect crunch without becoming soggy. The blind baked crust cut through clean with a knife and provided the perfect foundation for transportation to the mouth. The top, instead of a second layer of pie crust, had been crowned with some kind of crumb concoction to coronate this culinary delight.

Now imagine that as I spread word of my wife’s amazing, superlative, and exceptional apple pie that a well meaning friend pulled me aside and began to rebuke me for my pie idolatry. Clearly, I am informed, my love for the pie has exceeded my love for my wife. All I talk about is her pie and not she herself. My love for her should be pure: free from any attachments to such incarnate delights as pie. I am exhorted to repent of my idolatry for pie and focus my affections on the immortal soul of my wife.

“My dear gnostic brother, ” I reply. “How strange it is that you think I can love my wife without loving what comes from her hands. Were she not my wife, I would still think this a delicious pie, but my love for her only increases my love for her pie. And while it is true that I have spoken on many occasions about her pie while I have not waxed very poetic about her immortal soul in times past, let me assure you that it is only because I am a man and find that my words fail when it comes to her immortal soul but flow when it comes to her cooking. There is no idolatry here, but thank you for your concern.”

Now let me hasten to add that human beings are strange creatures and I suppose that there might be some husband out there who truly loves his wife’s cooking more than he loves his wife. The accusation is not an impossible one, but it does seem to be an unlikely one. I meet very few husbands who love their wive’s cooking who do not also love their wives. It is a rare husband who heaps public praise on his wife’s cooking or parenting or talents whilst despising that same woman. But I grant that such a crooked creature could exist.

Obviously, I speak in parables. Idolatry is a real and common thing with fallen man. There are idols in our hearts and idols in our hands (for covetousness is idolatry). Nevertheless, we need not accuse everyone of idolatry when they speak of the work of Christ’s hands as something to be loved and cherished, even if they speak more words concerning the created than the Creator. We are embodied creatures and we should not be surprised to find that words concerning the created come more easily than words concerning their Creator.

I am particularly concerned when well meaning Christians talk about the idolatry of family and children and nation when they never seem to talk about the idolatry of singleness and barrenness and globalism. Love for family and nation is at least a natural love. It is a commanded love. It is a Christian love, even if at times it becomes a disordered love.

We should be careful not to accuse a man of idolatry for loving his family. We should certainly not use the expression that a man “loves his family too much.” Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, a goal to which we must all aspire as an artist aspires to perfection. Paul never had to admonish men to love less. As a pastor, I have yet to meet a husband who loves his wife too much or a father who loves his children too much. Most of the men that I meet are too weak in their love. Too weak to love enough to lead. Too weak to love enough to speak truth. Too weak to love enough to discipline. To make hard choices. To risk the peace of our homes for the souls of those in our care. But to love too much? I don’t think so.

We should also be careful about accusing a woman of idolizing marriage or children. Hannah cried in anguish over her barrenness and the Lord rewarded her with a son who would guide the nation in the ways of God and bring about a great revival. Children are a blessing and it is good to seek after the blessings of God. And while there are women who do make an idol out of marriage and/or children, we really ought to be preaching against the enemy at the gate and not the enemy on the other side of the world. We live in a culture that tells women that their highest calling is in a STEM field and we provide free pills and abortions to make sure nothing as troublesome as a baby thwarts her efforts to become a second rate man. So by all means, write and preach about the idolatry of marriage as long as you spend about 10 times the amount of time writing and preaching against barrenness as the path to personal fulfillment. When was the last time your preacher (or you, if you are a preacher) exhorted the ladies at your church to be keepers at home? Do that about 100X and then lecture the moms about idolizing their role as moms.

This same restraint should be used before we judge those who love their country as being idolatrous. What is a country besides an extended clan? And why should we not perceive our country as a work of God’s hands? Does He not direct the course of nations and empires as much as He directs the course of an individual? I fully expect my Japanese friends to love Japan and work towards her good and seek to improve her failures. Can we not ask this of Americans?

Perhaps the giant beam in the eye of the guy who dislikes Trump is causing him to focus too much on the splinter in the eye of the guy who loves Trump. I don’t think Evangelical leaders need to apologize to the world because the people who pay their salaries like to fly American flags, want to secure the border, and want public schools to start educating instead of indoctrinating. Some of them even wear MAGA hats. (Not me: red diminishes the natural poignancy of my brown eyes).

Granted, out of the two topics – loving family and loving nation – the loving nation one seems to go wrong quicker and in weirder directions. I grant that. But if you are going to preach against a disordered love of nation, can you not also preach against the lack of love for your nation? Would it help you to swallow this pill if you used the word “community” instead of “nation”? If you are going to write against people who like to fly the flag a little too high, can you not also write about people who refuse to fly the flag at all? Or give grace to those who are passionate when that flag – for which some of them fought – is burned or perhaps takes a back seat to the flag of sexual perversion?

Before we get overly spiritual towards those who love being married and love having children and love being American (or Japanese or Russian, whichever might apply), let’s remember that marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, and that children are a blessing from the Lord, and blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. It is good to eat hamburgers and hot dogs and wave flags on the 4th of July, even if it is as American as my wife’s apple pie.

The Christian is to resist the spirit of the world. But when we say this, we must understand that the world-spirit does not always take the same form. So the Christian must resist the spirit of the world in the form it takes in his own generation. If he does not do this, he is not resisting the spirit of the world at all.

Francis Schaeffer, the God Who is There
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Facing Down Inflation

My reading this year has included some healthy doses on economics from the likes of Adam Smith, George Gilder, Thomas Sowell, Milton Friedman, and David Bahnsen. Inflation simply means that consumers are paying more dollars for the same goods and services, leaving many families gasping for financial air. It is certainly reasonable for folks to be concerned about inflation, but believers are not to live in fear. Out of the following observations written to help the Average Joe have confidence as he faces an inflationary environment, only 1 out of 3 comes from the world of economics. The first two, which are more certain and immutable, come from the pages of Scripture. So here are 3 things that will help you face down inflation with confidence.

God is Still Your Heavenly Father

It’s not as though God could provide for you when gas was under $2 a gallon but can’t when it rises about that mark. God does not suddenly throw up His hands in despair when faced with providing for His children in an inflationary period. Some of the greatest miracles in the Bible were miracles of provision. The Israelites were wandering around in the wilderness and it was perfectly human to think, “Sure, God could bless our crops when we actually had them, but can God provide food when there isn’t any?” Yes He can. Paul tells us that the whole Jewish sojourn is filled with examples that were written for us.

The Son of God became a man during a time when many were poor and sick and hungry, and He taught them to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Sometimes He was the direct agent of miraculous provision, feeding thousands with just a boy’s sack lunch. Are our circumstances worse than the circumstances faced by the Jews in that age? Probably not, but even if they were we can and should ask for God to provide our daily bread. Our Father is a good Father and will not give His children stones when they ask Him for bread. We do not want to be guilty of not having simply because we are not asking.

I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread

Psalm 37:25

Wisdom Works Even During Inflationary Periods

Of course, God commits Himself to providing for our needs, not our wants. The average poor person in the USA is better off than many rich people of other places or eras. We are accustomed to an easy life (I type as I hide from the heat in my air conditioned office). Having God as our heavenly Father is no more reason to live life as profligates than having a rich earthly father is a reason to live as profligates. Scripture is full of wonderfully helpful counsel regarding matters of material possession.

Two significant attitudes are highlighted in Scripture that we ought to keep in mind. The first is the concept of stewardship, whereby I recognize that everything I possess actually belongs to God. I am to steward my possessions for good in this world. This attitude keeps me responsible and accountable for my money. The second significant counsel the Scriptures recommend is one of generosity. There are those who give and yet have, and there are those who grasp and have not. There are those who steal from the labors of others while there are those who labor that they might have to give to others. The spirit of generosity forces me to always think of myself as a producer and a giver, which changes how I approach financial difficulties.

Beyond attitudes, there are certain types of financial habits that are recommended by Scripture. For example, debt is discouraged while savings are encouraged. (Proverbs 22:7 vs Proverbs 10:5). Slothfulness is discouraged while hard work is encouraged. (Proverbs 6:16 vs Proverbs 14:23). The virtuous woman is extolled for her wisdom, labor, thrift, and fruitfulness.

Inflation is a stress test of your financial attitudes and acumen. Do you demand a certain standard of living and use debt to achieve it? Do you refuse to make personal sacrifices and so rob the Church of your generosity? Is your life filled with anxiety because you don’t know how much money you have or where it is going?

If this is the case, maybe you need a financial organization like Crown to help you grow in this area. Or you can become a cage stage Dave Ramsey acolyte for a year or two. The point is that you should not blame inflation for financial woes that are caused by mismanaging your finances.

Not All Bad News

So this last point is a bit of wisdom garnered from my study of economics. I think we all need to be careful about making “Inflation” the terrifying boogeyman of our nightmares. It’s true that your grandpa used to get a cup of coffee for a dime, but he’ll turn right around and tell you that his first job only payed $1.50 an hour. Wages rise with prices. Inflation is a feature (although some argue an unnecessary feature) of modern economics. And while inflation is currently outpacing wage growth, there are still plenty of opportunities for the resourceful, the industrious, the skilled, and the lucky to increase their material wealth in times of inflation.

I would also caution against the trend of dog-piling on the President, despite my aversion to all Biden policies. The first reason is because if the expansion of the money supply is the sole reason for inflation, then it seems to me that we should have started this process years ago under President Trump, who loved to send out checks. In recent times, the difference between a conservative and a liberal has just been the speed at which each would like to take us over the fiscal cliff. There’s no doubt that the profligate habits of Washington have hurt our economy, but that extends to both political parties. So I find it a bit hypocritical.

The second reason is a little more pragmatic. If inflation gets hung on Biden alone, then Biden could claim an economic turnaround before the 2024 presidential election when production increases and reduces the high rate of inflation. You note that I’m allowing for the possibility that inflation is transitory. Yeah, yeah, I know that was Biden’s line, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. I think it’s possible that inflation will remain high on certain types of items where shortages are projected for several years while others products will normalize as production capacities increase. There, I have thrown my prognostication into the arena where I shall preen if proved right and forget I ever wrote this paragraph if I’m wrong.

Lastly, it’s good to remember that we are now paying for those checks that came in the mail just a few years ago. For a simple (which I needed) explanation of inflation, check out David Bahnsen’s Responses to Doug Wilson’s questions.

Conclusion

So yes, gas prices stink and your grocery bill is going up. This is a challenge to face, not a monster to blame. And while we are facing down inflation, we ought to take some time to face our own personal financial attitudes and the financial repercussions of our political leaders. I am wholly sympathetic to families who are struggling financially, but I am not in despair. We should face inflation with the same hope, the same endurance, and the same acumen with which we face all of life’s trials.

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Rejoicing Over Roe, with an Asterisk

Christians everywhere should unequivocally rejoice over the end of Roe. Since Roe, over 60 million babies have been killed in the womb. In the most recent Supreme Court ruling on Dobbs v Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the Supreme Court has affirmed that there is no constitutional right to an abortion (which makes sense, because there isn’t.) This is cause for rejoicing and gratitude to the Lord, to the many who have been fighting this battle for decades, to the justices who rightly interpreted the constitution, to the president who elected three of said justices, and to the States that have already begun working to write laws that respect the life of the unborn.

Let me stress again that it is not only ok, but it is good, fitting, appropriate, and pleasing to the Lord for believers to rejoice at this time. God has been kinder to us than our sins deserve, and should the particular kindness bestowed upon us by this ruling be met with subdued golf claps (at best) whilsts conscientiously making sure we aren’t disturbing any secular sacrifices taking place in the public square, it would be unfitting. Let us not tempt the rocks and stones to cry out. Christians have spent the last couple of decades worrying about how we come across to the world when the cross has crucified the world to us and vice versa. If the choice is between offending those who reject God and giving God the glory that is His due, I will choose to give glory to God any day of the week and twice on Sundays. If there is wailing in Ashdod because Dagon has been dismembered, it is not my job to cluck consolingly. So, PRAISE BE TO GOD FOR THE END OF ROE, Amen and Amen.

The Asterisk on this is not to diminish the rejoicing that Roe has ended, but to make the point that we sometimes think we are looking at the fountainhead when we are, in fact, several miles downstream. Abortion and its legality is a downstream issue and we would do well to take this reprieve to repair the foundations, lest they be destroyed.

Legislation/Political Foundation

As others have much more eloquently described, Roe v. Wade was simply a terrible legal decision. The United States of America is a constitutional Republic with separation of powers. When the judicial branch (of which the Supreme Court is the highest authority in the land) takes upon itself the role of creating constitutional rights ex nihilo, they have exceeded their rightful authority. It is frustrating to watch the left lose their mind over the recent ruling without the tiniest acknowledgment that if you want to legalize abortion, the path forward is via legislation in which the will of the people is expressed through voting, NOT through an activist court that gives you what you want.

The conservative justices are trying to save the judicial branch from ruin, and praise the Lord for them. A return to the basics of a constitutional Republic would, in my estimation, require two important additional corrections. First, the expansion of the Executive branch via Executive Order would need to be curtailed. George W Bush is the first president in my lifetime to abuse this authority, and every subsequent president has multiplied his error by leaps and bounds. Second, the bureaucratic state by which unelected officials determine what kind of cars we can drive, what kind of food we can eat, how tall the ceilings in our buildings need to be, and whether or not your kids can set up a lemonade stand without a permit, must be relegated into oblivion. All this would require is that no government department could enforce any of its regulations until all of its regulations had been evaluated and updated to remove outdated criteria. That should keep them busy for a few decades.

This return to a constitutional Republic requires an informed and educated public, which means that education will be at the center of the battle for the foreseeable future. Personally, I have abandoned any faith in the government schools and my advice to all Christian parents (just advice, I’m not speaking ex cathedra) is to remove your children from these institutions immediately.

Culture/Worship Foundation

The second aspect of this has to do with culture and worship. Now that the issue of abortion has been returned to the states, abortions will become easier or harder to obtain based on the population make up of that state. And so here is a big asterisk: overturning Roe does the pro-life movement no good if all 50 states eventually pass legislation to legalize abortion, which is what will happen if the culture goes that way, because politics is downstream of culture.

What kind of culture demands the right to kill their unborn children? What kind of culture cannot discern the logical incoherence of weeping with those who have miscarriages while celebrating those who terminate their pregnancies? What kind of culture can categorize abortion as “women’s health” when roughly 30 million women have been killed before they had a chance to stand on their own two feet? A culture that long ago exchanged the Creator for the created.

If politics is downstream of culture, then culture is downstream of worship. We become like the gods we make (Psalm 115:7-8). All people are worshipers. You, dear reader, are a worshiper. When man fell in the garden he did not cease to love, fear, or worship. He simply began loving, fearing, and worshiping the wrong thing in the wrong way. Those who worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, worship the Living God. The God who gives life and tells us to choose life. In the culture of life, marriage matters, sex is a gift not to be abused, men joyfully accept the responsibility of fatherhood, motherhood is a high calling, and children are a treasure from the Lord.

So what hope is there for a culture like ours? There is the hope of the gospel, where the blood guilt of 63 million lives can be washed away by the blood of God’s perfect Lamb. What revival can there be a for a national conscience seared by unbridled pornographic consumption and mindless sexual encounters? There is the washing of water by the Word and the transformation of a renewed mind. What future can there be for those who come late to labor in the Master’s Vineyard after idling away their day in vain and selfish pursuits? There is the merciful kindness of the Master Himself.

God has graciously given us a reprieve from our great national shame. We must use this reprieve to preach a crucified, risen Savior who came to give us life, and life more abundant. Ours is the better gospel, the better story, the better way, and it’s all because ours is the better God.

Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord; neither are there any works like unto thy works.

Psalm 86:8
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How American Workers are Redeeming Their Employers from Rigor Mortis

In the last two weeks I have been clubbed into a senseless stupor by the lifeless policies and procedures of 2 large American companies, only to be revived by acts of genuine and personal helpfulness of the employees of those companies. Here are my stories.

Story 1 – Lowes

I ordered some cabinetry online for pickup at my local Lowes. Typically I would just go to the store and pick them up, but since not every piece was in stock at any one location it was easier to select product online based on availability and schedule a pickup. The Ozark location sent me an email within a couple of hours telling me that their portion was ready for pickup, and since I had to go to a job site near the Springfield location I hoped that order would be ready soon as well. After my job site visit I pulled into the Springfield Lowes and asked if their portion of the order happened to be ready, where I was informed that if I hadn’t received a text or email they couldn’t tell me anything.

“Could I just go back there and see if they are pulling my order?” I asked.

“Well, it looks like they’re pulling the order, so maybe just come back in thirty minutes.” The girl said in a tone that would not inspire a priest to pray.

I was about to give in to her suggestion, and then I thought to myself, “I’m here, and they’re pulling my order, so why don’t I just go find them?” Which I proceeded to do. After wandering around a bit I found 2 carts with what looked like my stuff sitting in the back by lumber, and everything was there. All 10 pieces were on carts ready to go. My name was on them. Hurrah! But I didn’t know what exactly to do with them at this point. Drag them up to the Customer Service area and say, “Hey, here they are. Can I go now?” Seemed a little pushy.

There were a couple younger guys back there in lumber, so I asked them if I could take my order.

“We can’t let you have the order until customer service releases it.”

“How do I get customer service to release it?”

“The person who pulled the order has to tell them it’s been pulled.”

“Where’s that guy and how do I get him to tell customer service it’s pulled?”

To make a long story short, no one had ever told the guy who pulled the order how to close out the order on his handheld electric device, so he just pulled my order and walked away. Maybe he finished hours before. Maybe my stuff would sit there until the next day when someone stubbed their toe on it. Hard to say. So there was my stuff, and I had paid for it, but I wasn’t allowed to take it.

The two young guys looked at me and I looked at them. “What should we do?” I asked. They looked at each other and back at me.

It was a standoff.

But they were up to the task. What they didn’t have in authority or experience they made up in energy and common sense. They looked up every person who was logged in on “active duty” until they finally found someone who answered the phone and knew how to release my order. They told that person to meet us at the front desk. Then those two guys went out to my trailer with me and loaded it. They weren’t managers, assistant managers, or for all I know well paid. But instead of shrugging their shoulders and telling me to go back to customer service, they just worked to fix the situation. My faith in the next generation received a stiff shot of the old back straightener. Perhaps we will survive another generation.

Story 2 – Home Depot

A couple of weeks ago I went to Home Depot and found a fridge I liked. The man working at the appliance desk told me that I was better off to order it online and have it shipped to me as it was a new product and their system hadn’t really adjusted to it yet. So I did that, and in my hurry to place the order I simply hit ok when the “We didn’t find your address, but we found this address that is a close match” dialog box popped up. I confirmed the right street address so just assumed their system wanted me to type out “Street” instead of St or something like that. What I failed to notice is that it had changed the zip code on the delivery address.

Fast forward two weeks to a couple days before the fridge was scheduled to be delivered and I received a call from the delivery company. They told me they could not find a matching street address with the zip code that was on it but had found a matching address at a different zip code, which happened to be the correct one. I laughed and confirmed my zip code (how young and naive I was! Oh to return to the flower of youth, when hope bloomed that such ordinary miscommunications and errors could be solved with two people talking), only to be told that I would need to get Home Depot to change the zip code in their system. They were very nice but explained that their contract with HD was very specific and they would get in trouble if they delivered to a different zip code. Totally understandable…no problem…how hard can it be to get a zip code changed?

Rather than spend time on the phone, I decided to go to the store. You see, I had learned from my Lowes experience that it takes a person to actually accomplish anything. I spoke with Edwin at appliances and he was very helpful, assured me that he would alert the online order people and they would get the zip code changed that day. I even received a call a few minutes later from the shipping folks (again, very friendly and helpful people) who told me that Edwin had called them and told them to deliver it and that he had sent the change request to the online order people. Problem solved and it wasn’t even 8AM yet.

4PM hits and I get a call from the delivery people telling me that the online order folks had DENIED the zip code change request. There was nothing they could do unless I could call and get someone to change it and that even though the delivery date was a Saturday, she would come in and check to see if the order had been updated and if it had she would still deliver the fridge.

After about 4 unsuccessful attempts with the the “dial 1 for this or 2 for that” system, I hit enough buttons and screamed into the phone enough times to get a human being on the line. A really nice lady whose name started with an R. Was it Rachel? I don’t know, but she was great. At this point in the day I was underneath a house in the crawl space re-routing the washing machine drain pipe, so I had her on speaker and had to kind of yell as my body was in a lot of awkward and painful positions (there was about a 22″ clearance down there and I’m not quite as svelte as I used to be). I explained the whole situation…right address but wrong zip code…two blocks away….fridge was 15 minutes away in a warehouse and shipper WANTED to deliver it to me…can we find a reasonable conclusion to this ordeal?

We spent 45 minutes together on the phone. She ended up being a virtual dinner guest for a few minutes with our family. After multiple times on hold, the bubbly optimism which characterized the beginning of our customer service relationship had given way to a soft anxiety. The joy was gone like a romance that bloomed in May but died in June. You see, not only had the request to change the zip code been DENIED by her supervisor, but she had actually been reprimanded for trying to change the zip code herself. How dare a customer service representative try to HELP THE CUSTOMER!!

“So what am I supposed to do?” I asked.

“You’ll have to cancel the order and place a new one,” was her muted response. I could practically hear the HD Hoover in the background as it sucked out yet another piece of her soul.

So I went and bought the fridge at Lowes, put it in my trailer, and hauled it home.

Conclusion

So here’s my very amateur take on the state of large corporations in America. Technology is great. I love when my life is simplified and my time is saved through technology. Processes are great. We all need processes to keep profits where they need to be because we all need to make money. But technology and processes are not your greatest resource. Human beings are your greatest resource. You company will boom or bust based on your people. Your people are keeping your customers coming back. Stop trying to suck the soul out of your employees.

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Maintaining Marital Fidelity: The Danger of Gaps

It was pretty early on in our marriage-before kids anyway-when we got into a bit of a kerfuffle at church. There’s something extra terrible about getting into a kerfuffle at church, especially when you’re the pastor and your job is to stand up and declare the eternal glories of Christ. I’m sure it was hard for my wife as she played the piano accompaniment to hymns celebrating our good and gracious God. So there I was, about to ascend the sacred desk and preach, but on my mind was the space between my wife and I. I told myself that we could discuss the conflict after church, but I wasn’t buying it. So I asked the church to have a minute or two of silent prayer before someone came up and led us in a congregational prayer, and I grabbed my wife’s hand and we went to the fellowship hall to take care of the gap. I’m neither the smartest nor the most sanctified husband I know, but I’m thankful for this episode early in our marriage because it taught me the blessing of not allowing a gap between us.

Gaps can come in a variety of ways, but the commonality between all of them is that there is a sense of distance between husband and wife. Misaligned goals can cause a gap. Hurt feelings can cause a gap. Sexual abstinence can cause a gap. Distance is distance, and distance is dangerous. When God created mankind and joined together man and woman in the covenant of marriage, a central aspect of that union is that the husband will cleave to his wife and they will be one flesh. No gap. No space. No distance.

My understanding is that to cleave has something to do with being bonded tightly together, and the result of this is that two become one. The lines of distinction between individuals blurs in the eye of the beholders. The “one flesh” aspect of marriage is the result of cleaving. Husbands and wives are not room-mates with benefits. They are joined in such a way that in their own minds and in the minds of others, it is difficult to think of one without thinking of both.

In my personal as well as pastoral experience, gaps are usually small conflicts, hurts, miscommunications, etc… that are simply not dealt with immediately or well. These types of things are bound to happen as sinners live in proximity to one another, even though not all gaps start as a result of a particular sin.

When we have gaps, things get in the gaps. Except the “things” that get in the gaps are usually other people. Infidelity often starts with gaps. Maybe some well meaning person of the opposite sex notices the gap and sympathizes and just wants to help you, and then the gap between husband and wife widens while the gap between sympathetic listener and married man/woman shrinks. Or maybe the seductive adulteress of Proverbs probes and quickly identifies the gap. Or it could be an overtly sexual man looking for a conquest and exploits the gap.

Or maybe the thing that gets into the gap really is a thing, like pornography. Or a different thing, like online gambling. These aren’t bizarre and unlikely scenarios; these are things that I have come across during my brief sojourn. Married folks without any gaps don’t have a lot of time for such things, because they are too busy keeping out the gaps.

So as a man who is both a pastor and a businessman, my encouragement to you is to address the gaps between you and your spouse immediately. Don’t leave the house with distance between you. Don’t go to work until it has been addressed. Don’t preach, teach, or counsel until you close the distance. You may have to delay the full-blown conversation (in my opening example, we were not able to work through all of the conflict in that brief time before I had to preach), but you can assure one another of your love, your commitment, and your plan to work through the whole thing at the soonest reasonable opportunity. Distance is not your friend. Gaps are the enemy.

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What I Want for my Daughters to Want

I didn’t expect to be a girl dad right out of the gate. My wife and I both presumed our first child would be a boy, and maybe our second and third, and then we’d get around to having a girl. We obviously know nothing. I love being a father to my girls, and as a father I have certain hopes and desires for them that seem counter cultural these days.

What I want for my daughters is to want to be mothers. I don’t just want them to want to have a kid or two at some point, but I want them to see motherhood as the normal, natural, and blessed outcome of a woman’s life as she lives for God. Other outcomes are possible, but motherhood is the normal and desirous expectation.

And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. 

Genesis 3:20

In one sense, I don’t care if my daughters go to college. (For that matter, college is becoming less a priority for me as a parent in general). I don’t care if they have careers or professional achievements. This doesn’t mean that I think their only utility is to be some kind of baby hatchery. I expect that my daughters will be wise, compassionate, competent, and skilled people whom the labor force will try to woo. But I hope that they choose to lavish their wisdom, love, and talents upon their family, their church, and their community instead of on a corporation.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed

Proverbs 31:28a

I want their babies to be the product of a loving covenantal marriage. I want them to want a man who can measure up to me. Maybe that’s prideful, but if I thought I was doing a terrible job as a man I would strive to do better. I want to set the bar high for them. I want them to choose a man who can lead them and their future children. A man who expends his energy and muscles on earning a living and caring for his family and improving his community, so that when he sits down-exhausted from his labors-she can bring him a cold beverage (and maybe a rockin’ sandwich) that expresses her gratitude and respect. In turn, he wakes up to lavish his love on her again the next day until no one can tell anymore where the cycle of respect and love stops and starts.

Her husband also, and he praiseth her. 

Proverbs 31:12b

My perception is that motherhood is not considered a high and noble calling by the culture of expressive individualism in which we find ourselves. Motherhood must be selfless or it becomes poisonous. Women who want a baby to accessorize their lifestyle are comic parodies of Eve. This perception is supported by the evidence of a society that is having fewer and fewer children, targeting girls with a barrage of “you can be anything you want to be, especially if what you want to be in in the STEM fields”, and loses its mind at the thought of not being allowed to abort its babies should they be inconvenient.

So I want my daughters to want motherhood to be at the center of their being. Should they be barren, I want them to be like Mother Dimble who managed to embody motherhood without being a mother. Should the Lord bless them with children, I want them to want to raise their own babies. I don’t want them to have a child and then find the shortest route back to the work force. And after they raise their baby, I want them to want to have another baby.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. 

1 Timothy 2:15

And I want all of this because I love my daughters and think they have a high and noble calling that comes not from the world, but from the heavens. That calling is to nurture life and enrich our world. This is not the easy way out. This is a calling to live the crucified life as much as any other calling, and perhaps more so.

Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also

Luke 2:35

A calling that will require the grace and strength of God to fulfill. A calling that will shape and form their very souls. A worth while calling.

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The Unborn – A Biblical Primer

With Roe vs Wade back in the news, here is a list of biblical passages that Christians should consider as they think about the unborn.

Part 1 – The Value of the Life of the Unborn

The fundamental value of all human life (as opposed to the life of a cow or a caterpillar) lies in the biblical revelation that mankind (male and female) are made in the image of God.

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 

Genesis 1:26-27

The circumstantial differences between people, such as their position within the social hierarchy, are not pertinent to value since both are made in the image of God.

Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb? 

Job 31:15

The stages of development in the womb are part of the work of God in fashioning humanity. It is impossible to make distinctions on the value of the unborn based on their development as the entire process is orchestrated by God.

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 136:13-16

The unborn already have God given purposes for their life.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. 

Jeremiah 1:5

But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John. And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth. For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb.

Luke 1:13-15

Part 2 – The Calling to Motherhood

Fruitfulness in progeny is a purpose and blessing from God.

And God blessed them (Adam and Eve), saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. 

Genesis 1:22

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. 

Genesis 9:1

And I will make thee (Israel) exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.

Genesis 17:6

Motherhood is the normative calling for women.

And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. 

Genesis 3:20

Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle. 

Deuteronomy 7:14

Her children arise up, and call her blessed

Proverbs 31:28

Part 3 – Response to the Social Injustice of Abortion

The midwives in Egypt refused to commit infanticide.

But the midwives feared God, and did not as the king of Egypt commanded them, but saved the men children alive.

Exodus 1:17

The Israelites were forbidden from offering their children to Molech

And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD. 

Leviticus 18:21

Old Testament Jews and New Testament Christians are to seek the good of the most vulnerable

Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. 

Isaiah 1:17

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. 

James 1:27

Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. 

Matthew 25:45

Conclusion

The Biblical teaching on the value of the unborn is clear, as is the responsibility to the most vulnerable in society. These vulnerable ones include the unborn as well as mothers in distress. Just as Christians cared for exposed babies in the Roman Empire by establishing orphanages, homeless children in Europe by establishing Sunday Schools, slaves in the Western world by promoting abolition, so we find Christians in the 21st century funding and supporting pregnancy care centers, adopting, fostering, and caring for babies.

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Complimentary Sanctification

Today I would like to make the case that sanctification, the process of growing and maturing into Christ-likeness, is most fruitful when the efforts of the public and the personal are complimentary. The need for 2 different approaches in these settings is due to pacing, and I’ll flesh that out below. In Scripture, we find the public services of the church described in the pastoral epistles where we are told how to conduct ourselves in the house of God, while the personal is emphasized in the “one anothers” of NT Church life.

First, we need to establish progressive sanctification as the norm for the Christian experience. This in itself is somewhat counter-cultural even within the broader evangelical culture. We preach the gospel to a world impacted by consumerism, emotivism, and the gospel of the therapeutic. Into that culture we preach a gospel whose fruit is the mortification of sin, the crucifixion of the self, and the humbling of the individual for the sake of the glory of God and love of others. In other words, everything about the gospel is counter-intuitive to a race of people who love themselves more than anything and to a generation that has created a world in which that self-love is lauded instead of critiqued. Nevertheless, this is the task of the Church: to make disciples.

Secondly, we need to understand that growing in Christ-likeness really is a process which, while involving various crisis moments, requires time. After investing an afternoon and some money into reseeding my lawn, I have daily scoured the ground for signs of new growth. My initial impatience at the speed of growth is slowly giving way to the satisfaction of seeing the blades emerging. It just took more time than I wanted. Growing up into the fullness of the stature of Christ takes more time than we would like, both in ourselves and in others. It often involves more effort than we would have anticipated and costs more than we budgeted for.

Let’s not pretend that our culture is more wicked and vile than, say, the first century Roman culture from which many Gentile believers were saved. However, the present culture has shaped people in such a way that discipleship seems to take a little longer than the culture of 50 years ago. Here are a couple of examples.

It’s a common joke among my tribe that “back in the day”, when you got saved that on your way out of the baptistry you were handed a Sunday School book and told to be at church the next week at 9:30 because you would be teaching the 3rd grade class. I have met multiple folks (in their later years) who told this story. It’s hard to imagine that happening today. Faithful church attendance continues to decline, and what would have been considered poor attendance fifty years ago is now considered faithful. This makes discipleship challenging.

Another example would be the attitude of the culture towards truth versus feelings. The battle over free speech vs hate speech is really a clash between a world-view that values truth and a world-view that values feelings. Feeling oriented people (which we all are to some extent, but is certainly more pronounced today than in the past) struggle with being told to do something that is unpleasant or to give up something that is loved. Preaching against sin is now considered hate speech by many.

We are called to make disciples of those who are influenced by a culture that appears to be further removed from virtue and truth than the culture of fifty years ago. But we are not to despair: the Cretans were liars, evil, lazy, and gluttons, and out of that group the gospel was going to yield such fruit that they would have their own elders in the church. I want to make the case that we are aided in our efforts by having both a public effort and a personal effort.

The Public Effort

The public effort is the weekly gathering of God’s people. It would be a terrible mistake to accommodate the structure and tone of this meeting to the culture. This refusal is in itself jarring because the demand of the culture is that everything accommodate itself to the happiness of the individual. The weekly gathering of the Church should be the most counter-cultural experience of the week, challenging the individual at a variety of levels.

Consider how little time is allotted in most worship services for prayer or for Scripture reading. Is this not a capitulation to the demand to be entertained and excited? Consider how carefully texts are trimmed and rephrased and even ignored so as not to offend the tender sensibilities of the listeners. Is this not an obeisance to the feelings of those listening? The public service should shape the people in order to please God, rather than letting the people shape the public service to please themselves.

I am not saying that church services should be intentionally boring, but they should definitely leave unsatisfied the fleshly desire to be coddled. The Word must come from God and go forth to form the people. If ever the demands of the people form the word, it will cease to be a Word from God. The passion that fills the church must be a Spirit driven passion to know God through His Word and rejoice in the Son, who brings us to God. And since these are Spirit given desires, they will not be present in the unconverted.

Those who have been conformed to the spirit of the age should find the public service of the church challenging. It should challenge our desire to be the center of attention. It should challenge our idolatry of self, pleasure, and all of our many fe-e-e-elings. It should challenge our conceit that our opinion matters. The public service of the church is a foretaste of maturity. It is a display of the Godward life. It is a manifestation of the community of Christ that has taken up its cross to follow Jesus. It is a weekly foretaste of the finish line. And as such, it will be too much for many to handle.

The Personal Effort

Which is why personal effort is so important. By personal I mean the one to one (or small group) discipling, parenting, mentoring, and various other one-another acts of the community of Christ that happen between the public services. It is essential that the public service of the church relentlessly set the bar high and proclaim without apology the offensive gospel of Jesus. But in between those public services, it is of immense service to engage individuals on a personal level.

One way that personal effort is useful is that it can rejoice in the incremental. When I preach from the pulpit, it is my job to preach the ideal, who is Christ. In doing so, I endeavor to preach above my own sanctification. But when I engage with folks on a personal level, it is easier to drill down into the specifics of life and find the next step rather than focus on the finish line.

Another way that personal ministry is necessary is that it can engage in dialogue and debate. Sermons have a heraldic quality that is diminished by interruption and dialogue (although an appropriate place may be found for these at other times). The text is read and expounded and then the hearers are exhorted. The personal allows for questions, clarifications, explorations of applications, challenges, and other types of dialogue which is useful to learning. A sermon moves on whether the listener understands, but at a personal level the pace of instruction can be modified.

Another way that personal ministry is useful is by communicating that truth is being spoken in love. By investing time and energy into individuals, we are automatically communicating something of our love for them. The conversations we have in personal settings tend to make our care and concern for others more obvious than a public sermon can. It also forms a natural kind of accountability.

Complimentary

The disclaimer to all of this is that taken woodenly, we could clearly find exceptions in these points. Sometimes public sermons do communicate love and encourage incremental change. Sometimes personal conversations come across as unloving and harsh. But I think there is enough general distinction to be helpful.

In my mind, this is a matter of pace. Disciples need both a finish line to which they can aspire as well as “in the moment” instruction. Public services set the pace of the entire community, but at various times and in various ways individuals will need help keeping that pace. Without that personal help, they will being to feel out of sync with the rest of the body and a sense of distance will set in. This may be chalked up to personal failure leading to guilt, or it may result in a judgmental spirit and anger towards the rest of the body. In either case the result is that the platoon loses a soldier. Without the public services, the body lacks direction. Without personal attention, the individuals lack the care they need to remain healthy in the body. This is the complimentary nature of the public and the personal aspects of discipleship.

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Capitalism and Evolution

This post is inspired by George Gilder’s brilliant prologue to Wealth and Poverty, and as I am only a couple of chapters into the book I cannot comment on it as a whole. But the prologue is noteworthy not only for for its defense of capitalism, but for its verve. Is that still a word? It should be, because that’s the spirit of the prologue. He may be wrong, but if he is wrong he is wrong with panache. If his outfit is a fashion disaster, it is not for lack of color and embroidery. You may dislike his ruffles, but you cannot but admire his boldness in wearing them. If you don’t like the number his orchestra is playing, you must concede that it is not for lack of trumpets.

One of the relatively shocking approaches that Gilder takes is to defend capitalism not as a “best among worst” options nor as an approach to mitigate the general awfulness of humanity in the economic realm, but as intrinsically good and generous. Gilder is impatient with those who see the history of capitalism as a series of robber barons out to increase their own wealth at the expense of others, and he upbraids modern (and modern-ish) proponents with acquiescing to that historical perception.

If the argument goes “capitalism really was a terrible state of affairs involving slavery and oppression and the rich getting richer while the poor get poorer, but it somehow yielded us a 21st century system that really isn’t half bad” then we can say that there is nothing essentially better about capitalism than any other system of economics. At the battlefront of the terrible clash between capitalism and socialism, Gilder accuses the generals of motivating their men with a pathetic patriotism that amounts to “Men, it’s true that our country has been pretty terrible, but it’s not so bad right now so you should really try to put up a good fight.”

This is actually reminiscent of the evolutionary model of biological life. In evolution, given enough time something can come from nothing and then turn into everything. But that process (the past) must necessarily involve a massive amount of awfulness. Sure, what we wound up with is pretty darn functional: an ecosystem filled with symbiotic relationships, a humanity with a consciousness and rationality, etc… And because what we wound up with is pretty darn good, there’s no sense worrying about all the mountains of suffering and death that Evolution’s aborted offspring had to endure to get us to this point. If we buy into Evolution (as a macro-explanation for the existence and diversity of biological life) then we accept that Death is the mechanism from which Life comes. In the same way, if we go along with the story of capitalism as a story of self serving greed, then we accept that the mechanism for Prosperity is Greed. Gilder says that this is wrong and that greed is actually the death of capitalism.

What is so compelling about Gilder’s take is that you don’t have to be any kind of economic expert to understand in your bones that he is right, just as you don’t have to be a biologist (who alone can discern the mystical differences between male and female) to reject evolution. Evolution is manifestly backwards: life must precede death. The story of capitalism, as told by its opponents as well as its half-hearted defenders, is manifestly backwards: generosity must produce wealth. According to Gilder, that is what lies at the heart of capitalism.

Tactile

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It is everything that Youtube Premium is not. Namely, it is not digital. Everything about my favorite Christmas present is finite. There is romance in the 22 minutes per side restriction of a 33 that cannot compare to the endless supply of music stored up in well cooled server stations, waiting to be called upon to deliver an un-curtailed buffet of entertainment. Music that lives in “the cloud” is as close as your phone, yet aloof as the moon. It is everywhere, but it is also nowhere.

Photo by Anton H on Pexels.com

Vinyl is tactile. It is geographic. It is bound to a place where a disc of plastic meets an unwieldy turntable. It is everything that the younger siblings of the I-phone cannot understand and yet, as a human, instinctively long for. It is the joy of a child who finds greater delight in the meshed gears of a pocket watch than in the magic of numeric pixels on a screen.

An undeniable shiver of delight accompanies the drop of the needle into the grooves of the record. Yes, even a feeling of conquest if the finger of man has moved the needle to drop precisely at a sharper chasm marking the beginning of a different track. Or perhaps the needle will descend down the outer rim, spitting and crackling like a man tumbling down an embankment into some new terrain.

Digital music comes to us sterilized, as if it has been prepped for surgery. Like a thief who is careful to leave no evidence of his presence behind. Vinyl comes to us touched, bent, handled, loved, discarded, and discovered, much like people. The warp of the material knocks the orbit slightly off balance, resulting in a subtle vertical rise and drop like a wave. Does the Creator feel this satisfaction when He gazes at the eccentricity of the earth’s orbit as it changes every one hundred thousand years? Occam’s Razor is for problems, not for pleasure.

It is the limitation of the tactile that enthralls. Our digital age demands the abolition of all boundaries, which means that our digital age demands the abolition of Man. As our digital footprints extend perpetually, we leave no paths for others to follow. As we reach to touch foreign frontiers, we lose our grasp on our families, our friends, and our neighbors. No painting may truly be admired if the canvas is infinite. No song appreciated if it goes on forever. Endless choice has only led to endless anxiety. And boredom. Only boring people are bored.

The re-discovery of vinyl is the epiphany that we are embodied. An epiphany that has been subsumed by suffering, disease, war, mortality, and frustration. To live free of our embodiment is the longed for Utopia of a race held captive to death and deprivation. Like all man-made Utopia’s, the price is often humanity itself. We may live forever in splendor if we are willing to surrender that which makes us human.

This dilemma can only be resolved by the infinite becoming finite. Love, joy, peace, and glory must be Incarnate before they can be appreciated. The vastness of God would drive us mad while His absence would render us meaningless. The hands that scoop out the oceans and fling the stars into dancing galaxies must be riven with nails before we can appreciate them. The Mind behind the cosmos must speak in parables, aphorisms, hyperbole, and sermonic melody before we can hear Him. Love must bleed before we can comprehend it. Touch it. Embrace it.

I could go on, but my time is up.

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2 Hats the Pastor Must Not Wear

Over the last couple of years as ministry has changed for many churches, I find myself occasionally talking to a friend or colleague who left pastoral ministry and has found himself looking for employment in the secular world. Job interviews inevitably get around to asking about employment history, experience, and skill sets. How does a man who has pastored for twenty years explain his experience and skill set? In secular terms, he has played the role of CEO, CFO, HR, Facility Supervisor, Complaint Department, Office Manager, and “Environmental Service Technician”. In other words, the pastor wears a lot of hats.

Apart from larger churches where roles are carefully defined, most pastors are comfortable being flexible in their responsibilities and responding to needs as they arise. Despite this necessity, wise pastors define themselves by their spiritual role in the church. They see themselves as shepherds of the flock, as heralds of the gospel, as teachers of the eternal truth of God, and as evangelists. While the pastor may every once in a while have to don his accountant visor, or his “van is broke down again” overalls, or his “time to get the plunger out” gloves, he knows these are secondary responsibilities.

The pastor’s perception of his role in the church is foundational to the execution of his responsibilities before the Lord. Some pastors get their priorities mixed up. Some pastors lose sight of their calling. But in twenty years of pastoral ministry, I have learned there are 2 hats that I must never don. There are two ways that I am tempted to view myself that are simply devastating to my effectiveness as a minister of God.

The Martyr’s Halo

The martyr’s halo is what I like to wear when I feel like no one loves God quite as much as I do, or no one sacrifices quite as much as I sacrifice, or no one appreciates sufficiently the level of service that they receive from my hand. Just writing those words is shameful because they are all thoughts that I have entertained over the years. Is there anything more self righteous than putting on the face of one who is bravely enduring the stripes of ministry simply for the sake of drawing more attention to one’s own deeds? Flow those phylacteries. Trumpet those tears. Drop the silver coins of your service from far above the offering plate so they might ring louder when they land.

There are certainly martyrs in Christianity, but legitimate martyrs are joyful. They gladly watch their property plundered and they sing praises in the prison cell and they count it a blessing to be able to suffer as their Lord suffered. But you, dear pastor, who labored hard over your message only to receive not one compliment, are not a martyr. Refuse to be one. Especially when the the devil whispers those delicious morsels in your ear, “If they only knew how much you did for the Lord…”

The Hero’s Hood

Conversely, the pastor must also never think that he is the hero of the story. Perhaps yours is not the ministry of martyrdom, but the ministry of a grateful and growing people who receive the Word with gladness and constantly express appreciation for the blessing you are. How tempting it is to see yourself as the hero of the story! The pastor is uniquely positioned to be present when God works wonders and is often the very instrument for good in God’s hand. Being an instrument is not to be confused with being the One who wields it.

Perhaps the tempting thought for this tendency sounds something like, “You could be the one to turn this around!” or “Think about the opportunities you’ll have when everyone sees what you did with this ministry!” Rushing back into my mind are all those introductions for speakers at Bible College that went like, “When Pastor Awesome first came to Lowly Baptist Church, they were meeting in a cardboard box on the fire escape of a condemned building, but after fifteen years they are now running six hundred, have a 12-acre facility built on top of a gold mine, and have changed the name to Synergy!” I joke, of course. But from Bible Colleges to book publishing to tweet counting to conference speakers, it’s easy for our hearts to get caught up in becoming a hero instead of pointing to the Hero.

Hang Up Your Hat

The solution for both false identities is to make sure that our service for the Lord never exceeds our gratitude to the Lord. The sobriquet of hero or martyr quickly fades when we live in awe of the grace that we have received. When your evaluation of what you do for the Lord exceeds your understanding of what God has done for you in Christ, you are nearing the tempter’s snare. So the next time you find yourself marching with plunger in hand to the rescue of the plumbing pipes, sigh not for the tragedy of your life. The next time a thankful believer testifies of how your sermon changed her life, puff not up with pride but instead, remind yourself that God once used an ass to speak, a rock to water a nation, birds to feed a prophet, and blood to wash away the sins of even the proudest sinner.

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In Which Baloo Explains the Importance of Ontology

It was probably 1991 and one of my refuges during a year back in my birth country was American cartoons; cartoons like Talespin. In a way I envy my children who at ages 8 and below are able to navigate multiple streaming services to find the show they want. At age 11, I felt like the manager of television programming was a capricious god who delighted in thwarting my viewing desires, so it was a heady feeling of Herculean conquest when I managed to locate a show I wanted to watch.

It was Baloo who taught me the priority of Ontology over Epistemology, but I wouldn’t have known those terms at the time. The plot of the episode (Sheepskin Run, episode 51) was that Baloo needed to go back and get his grade school diploma so that he could attend his class reunion and see his buddies. After failing the final exam by one question, he realizes that he has been marked wrong regarding whether or not certain flora grew in the mountains. Baloo realizes that he has physically seen this species growing in the mountains and so he takes his professor on a death defying airplane ride to show him an actual plant growing where the professor though it could not, and in light of this reality the professor corrects the test and Baloo earns his degree.

This is the old way of thinking. This is science as I understand. This is biblical. The world and everything in it have a nature and our job is to discover and nurture that nature so that it might be fruitful. The sacred writings call this “dominion”. There is a reality which was spoken into existence by God; it is the endeavor of man to search out that reality and better understand it, though his understanding will be limited and, thanks to sin, twisted.

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

Proverbs 25:2

What modern man seems to want is the opposite. Man wants to invent in his mind and then force the world to conform. In the Renaissance this was called magic, and in the 21st century it is called science. My suspicion is that this is what is behind the drive towards a “virtual existence”, where there are no limits at all. Modern man cannot give an answer in words to the most basic questions that our ancestors knew in their souls because modern man refuses to acknowledge that we were created with a nature that, while flexible, is nevertheless fixed. If this episode of Tailspin were to be written today, I wonder if the professor would rather deny reality rather than change his mind.

For the wise men of old, the cardinal problem of human life was how to conform the soul to objective reality, and the solution was wisdom, self-discipline, and virtue. For the modern, the cardinal problem is how to conform reality to the wishes of man, and the solution is a technique.

CS Lewis, the Abolition of Man

Perhaps our refusal to accept that created things have a nature also lies at the heart of our failure to exercise dominion: we break the world around us, and ourselves, because we attempt to impose upon it that which its shoulders are unable to bear. If man exists to serve God and care for His creation, then it follows that abandoning this grand purpose will result in frustration, anger, bitterness, and anxiety. The childlike joy of discovery is largely missing today, even from the world of science, where discovery and laughter have been divorced.

The veneer of intellectual plausibility for all of this is provided by evolution, in which anything can turn into anything given enough time. If what we see now used to be something else, then modern man can feel confident that given enough time and effort, he can turn it into something else completely in the future. In the hands of modern man, dominion looks cruel and without compassion: the created world is his slave to be disposed of at his will. Our physical bodies are sacrificed upon the altar of our will.

The world we live in is organic but also established. Mankind will always be mankind, even if he enters the Metaverse. Men will always be men and women will always be women, regardless of surgeries and hormone blockers. Individuals and even entire generations may get drunk on the wine of some new philosophy and seek out marriages of 3 or 4, but like a rubber band that can only stretch so far, society will return back to the beautiful number of 2. Let all who rage at the heavens despair in this, and let all who bow to heaven’s will rejoice.

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A Year Later

It was a year ago that we went in for our first specialist visit to discover the extent of our unborn daughter’s heart condition. Katie was somewhere around 21 weeks and we had just celebrated Christmas. We laid our little girl to rest on March 19, and two weeks ago we were finally able to get her monument set. Here are a few haphazard but sincere thoughts regarding the last year.

We still love the little girl God gave us. We have no memories with her to treasure, no pictures outside of ultrasounds and echocardiograms save the ones taken at the hospital after she was delivered. So it is just raw love anchored in a future hope. We talk about her in heaven and the kids bring her up all the time. It’s amazing to me how real she is to them, even though they never got to meet her. But if Penny were our only child, I would still consider myself a father for the love I have for her.

The Lord alone is a refuge for the day of calamity. Truth led us and Compassion kept us. We were never outside the love and power of our God for a second, so even in that terrible tomb of a hospital room we were safe. Money could not have sustained us. Friends could not have kept us. Only a God who Himself had conquered the sting of death was enough.

Suffering is everywhere. We know so many who this year have lost children through miscarriages. We know so many who have suffered in other ways that are foreign to us. None of us can plant our flag on the island of suffering and claim it for our own. We all live in this sin cursed world and the lie of unique suffering makes fools of those who believe it.

Loss is debilitating. After Penny passed, writing was hard. It had been my- our- way of processing our emotions and sharing our burden with our friends and family. But then it just became hard to write. Or preach. Or go to work. Nothing seemed worth writing about after Penny.

Parents never give up hope. Whether addictions or relationships or health, a parent is usually the last one to give up. We talked to so many doctors and cardiologists and specialists and almost all of them (there was one exception I can think of) tried to convince us that Penny would pass away. And we tried to convince them that she wouldn’t. Does it matter that they were right? Not a bit. I appreciate that they wanted us to be emotionally prepared for her passing, but we wanted them to be medically prepared for her survival. It’s a parent’s job to believe all things, because that’s what love does.

Continuing to live life is not a betrayal of the dead. Laughing at a joke is not a sin. Enjoying a good meal is not a transgression. Playing with my other children is not evil. The people around us do not have to apologize for celebrating births and birthdays. We cannot hold the world hostage to our grief.

The wise build their house to withstand storms. I’ve been very thankful over the last year for our marriage, which has been a source of comfort instead of anxiety. It would have been difficult to repair a relationship while walking through this valley. Deal with problems early and don’t let anything come between you. If you wait to repair your ship until the storm is lashing the harbor it is going to be much harder. Not impossible, but harder.

Everything I learned in Sunday School is true. Well, maybe not quite everything, but the parts that came from the Bible were all true. God is faithful. Trust in the Lord with all your might. Jesus saves. I know it’s a season of society where many are abandoning the faith, but I cannot fathom what they are abandoning it for. “The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.” (Ps 12:6). God has been faithful and true to His Word.

So here we are, a year later, perched on the edge of the calendar year. The same and yet different. Grieving and yet joyful. Tired but ready for the next thing. And thankful for all your prayers, all your comfort, and all of your love.

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An Unreasoning Faith

It has to be the most unrealistic illustration ever. No one who has been present when a child is born thinks that on any such occasion since the dawn of time would the sudden presence of shepherds bring about joy. Why not throw in a few foreign dignitaries for fun? Nevertheless, this was the last page of the children’s Christmas story that I found myself reading last night.

The actual events of that night were distinct enough without any mythical additions. Perhaps “bizarre” is not quite reverent enough. “Surreal”? Mary and Joseph were caught up in events that spanned the empire and even beyond, for the Creator of the Cosmos was coming as a baby. As if that weren’t enough, it must have seemed to them that events were conspiring to make this birth as difficult as possible. There was no planning the delivery. No nursery awaiting his arrival. No days of rest leading up to the labor of labor. In fact, no decisions were left to Mary and Joseph, leaving them destitute of control. They were only left with faith that this was all happening as it was meant to happen.

Faith is entirely reasonable. I believe this with all my heart. An unreasonable faith is a faith in something that is unreasonable. God – the divine Logos – is wholly Reasonable. The dichotomy of faith and reason is a modern deception. In past ages, those who denied God, or at minimum a god, were the fools. But as we bask in the dying light of the Enlightenment, it is the faith-filled who are derided.

Believing in God is not a leap into the void of darkness; it is a step into the light. Faith is not a desertion of the corporeal for the ephemeral; it is an embrace of the substantial against the claims of reflections. Trust in God gains us Truth over mere “facts”, which are so malleable in the hands of fallen man.

But lately I have been thinking about unreasoning faith, which is different than an unreasonable faith. Can faith remain reasonable while the one expressing the faith is unreasoning? I have come to hope so. There have been too many nights where reason has deserted me. Too many days of being stripped to the core. Too many times when my inner man is reeling like a drunkard.

Even then, I think Reason is present. It is only completely absent in the place of outer darkness. But in these times of sorrow and sickness, Reason paints less in the sharp lines of charcoal and more in the hues of watercolor. These are the moments when Reason is more of a warmth than a syllogism. These are the times when we run unreasoning into the hands of our heavenly Father and trust that – despite all appearances to the contrary – what He has spoken in the light is still true in the dark.

That Bethlehem night was glorious, though Mary and Joseph could not apprehend it. The plan of the ages was coming to pass, though Mary and Joseph could not perceive it. The words of the angel were coming true before their very eyes, although it looked different than what they had anticipated. And so Mary and Joseph simply trusted. They must have wondered, “Can this be right?” And yet they trusted.

Your faith is no less reasonable when Reason seems to have deserted you. In loss, in sickness, in exhaustion and burnout, you can and should still trust, though you may not be able to reason your way to it. It is no less reasonable for your lack of reason. You are simply trusting out of a place where the distinctions between intelligence and affection and desire are beginning to blur. You are trusting like a child. Nothing is more sweet to Heaven than a child-like faith.

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A Simple Paradigm for Pastoral Ministry

Our family’s first computer, purchased in 1995, used an MS-DOS operating system that required typing individual commands at a prompt. My dad purchased “DOS for Dummies” and was off to the races. Now, many many many years later, the complexity of those earlier code based systems has a simple interface that only requires users to “point and click” or even simply to push on a touch screen. All the complexity is going on in the background; the only thing that has changed in the simplicity of the interface.

Format Command (Examples, Options, Switches, and More)

After 15 years of pastoral ministry, I have come to value the simple. I am not a “detail person” and I do not have great gifts of administration, so overly complex systems, approaches, or paradigms weary my soul. On the other hand, to boil complexity down to simple principles allows me the freedom to pursue goals with hope and energy. There is something elegant in reducing complex tasks, such as pastoral ministry, to a few simple principles that inherently absorb the complexity and translate it into something achievable for minds like mine. Below are three principles derived from Acts 6:4 that have become my “interface” for the complexities of pastoral ministry.

But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word. 

Acts 6:4

Pastor in Prayer

I think it is reasonable to say that a pastor should pray for everyone in his congregation regularly. As a bi-vocational pastor in a smaller congregation, I think I can reasonably pray for every member on a weekly basis. When we gather for corporate worship on Sunday morning, I want to have remembered each person I see in prayer. This doesn’t just mean “Lord, Bless __________and _________ today.” Depending on the occasion, I may give thanks for them, I may pray for a spiritual need, I may seek wisdom in how to pastor them, I may ask for favorable outcomes to trials in their life, etc… Every week is a little different.

By pastoring them in prayer, I am acknowledging that these sheep belong not to me but to the Good Shepherd. By pastoring them in prayer I am acknowledging my limitations to bring about change in their lives. By pastoring them in prayer, I am cleansing my heart from fleshly sins that arise in all earthly relationships when given the opportunity. By pastoring them in prayer I am regularly preparing for the day when, face to face with my Lord, I will give an account for those in my care.

Every congregation is different and every pastor is different. Perhaps some would find a weekly prayer too little while others find it too frequent. I can imagine the pastor of a church of 400 would struggle to do anything else if he prayed for each member weekly. Perhaps in a larger church the ministry of prayer could be divided up among the spiritual leaders of the church so that members were cared for in prayer more frequently. But I think it is safe to say that if a member walked up to their pastor to seek some advice or ask a question about a sermon and the pastor didn’t remember the last time he prayed for this person, it would be a problem.

Pastor in the Pulpit

By pastoring in the pulpit, I mean the reading, exposition, and application of God’s Word (1 Timothy 4:13). I should be familiar with my text so that when I read it, I do not stumble. Furthermore, I should be able to read it aloud with an emotion appropriate to the text. I should be able to expound it clearly (never exhaustively as we continue to grow in our knowledge and abilities) so that the truth is made plain. And I should have an understanding of how this text is intended to shape God’s people in His image.

God’s people are shaped by God’s Word, and the pastor/teacher is the gift God has given to the Church for the purpose of communicating the Word. It is a solemn responsibility to stand and deliver the Word. It may be the one time in a week when Truth rings loudest to the man who works a difficult job, or to the teenager who comes with neighbors and whose own family is a mess. It may communicate the needed strength to a parishioner who has always been faithful and appears strong yet is being sifted like wheat in her heart. The pastor cannot judge the effectiveness of the Word by the number who come to an altar or who compliment the sermon when it is finished: the Word is unfathomably effective in ways that cannot be measured.

Of course, this requires study and preparation. Most of my sermons are written on the basketball court or while walking or jogging, but the form only comes after texts have been read and meditated upon. There have been times in my pastoral ministry where I have used curriculum or study guides from books that I think are beneficial. Depending on the various requirements of a ministry, I think that is completely reasonable. But I also think that the pastor should endeavor to preach an original sermon for which he has labored during the weekly assembly of the saints and deliver that which God has first worked into his own heart.

Pastor Personally

The ministry of prayer and pulpit can become an “ivory tower” affair if the pastor is not connected with his people. In order for prayer and pulpit to be most effective, they must be informed by the personal relationship a pastor shares with his flock.

Many times, these relationships develop naturally over the course of time. There are weddings and funerals in every family that are natural times in which to observe, speak truth, serve, and simply be together. Conversing with people over coffee before Sunday morning church begins or staying after on a Wednesday night prayer service may be my best opportunity to find out how God is working in lives.

There may be other times when a pastor needs to be more intentional. Making visits to a home (a la Richard Baxter) or meeting for coffee might be appropriate ways to get to know and shepherd individuals/families in the church. Hospitality may play an important role in the personal aspect of pastoral ministry as your home is opened to your church family. A pastor need not be an extrovert, but he must love enough to get to know those in his flock.

Conclusion

After many years of pastoral ministry, I concluded that there were too many Sundays when I came home knowing I had spent too much time working on a building or planning an event to have actually pastored well. Even with this simple paradigm, I still struggle. So, dear reader, say a prayer for me and for your pastor: we are not sufficient for these things, but our sufficiency is of God.

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Bring Back the Weddings / Bring Back the Funerals

According to The Knot’s 2019 survey of the wedding industry, only 22% of couples held their wedding at a church (religious institution). This is the same percentage as 2016, suggesting that only about 1 out of every 5 weddings are held at a church. Perhaps we should not be surprised as many in the “marrying age” (the average age of a person getting married in 2019 was 32) are no longer as invested in religion in general. Nevertheless, my anecdotal evidence is that faithful believers are more often opting to take their vows at venues or destinations. While I have not found (nor – to be honest -dug real deep) into the percentage of funerals that are held at churches, I assume it is potentially even lower than weddings.

blue and white wooden church during daytime

So my plea is for Christians to bring weddings and funerals back to the church. For those who know me, this may seem hypocritical since I had a destination wedding. Fair enough. Nevertheless, I’m still going to make the case. I am aware that a church is a people, and not a building. I am also aware that there is no biblical mandate for what I am proposing, so it falls into the category of wisdom and sentiment, both of which should be biblically informed.

Fighting Cultural Marginalization

We are living in an age when Christianity has been privatized. This is to say that it is only deemed acceptable in uber-private aspects of life. Liberal/progressive types have managed to convince a large portion of the population that separation of church and state – a phrase that does not actually appear in our constitution – is designed to keep God out of every aspect of public life, when in reality the Establishment Clause was probably designed to keep the government from interfering with the church. Add to this the hyper-atomization of society to the level of the individual and you all of a sudden have a culture that intentionally sidelines the role of the Church in society.

Nevertheless, marriage and death are trans-cultural realities of life that even the government has a hard time denying. They are also subjects over which the Church is uniquely authoritative. Marriage is depicted in the first two chapters of Genesis while death makes its appearance in chapter three. Marriage was instituted by God and thus, God is the unique authority over it. Death is God’s curse upon man for sin, and the final act of a soul before he must face God in judgement. Nevertheless, death has been defeated by Christ and therefore is not meaningless nor hopeless.

As we observe these definitive moments among ourselves, it makes sense to center them around that which is authoritative over them. It reminds us that modern, secular man cannot escape our Creator. It serves to remind those who may deny the Creator that they are made in His image. While it would take a series of outlandish exegetical maneuvers to declare it a sin to get married by a justice of the peace at a local courthouse (and no doubt many believers have done so for good reasons), it certainly paints a different picture than a wedding at one’s local church.

Contextualizing our Celebrations

This one became more noticeable to me at a recent funeral, but I think it applies to weddings as well. The only thing that takes place at funeral homes is funerals. Nobody rents the place out to have a baby shower. The whole place is set up for this one specific purpose, from the casket sales gallery to the family grieving room. But when you have a funeral at your local church building, you’ll be back in a few days for something that isn’t a funeral. You’ll be having a Bible study in the same room where you sat with your grieving family. You’ll be singing praises to your Savior in the same sanctuary where you committed the body of a loved one to the Lord. And I think there is something very healthy in this. It is good to remember that in the same place where tears are shed, marriages will be sealed with a kiss. Where man and woman are declared to be husband and wife, precious saints will be sent into the realm where marriage blossoms into something even greater.

Death and marriage both have a strong center of gravity. It is easy to get lost in their orbit. There is nothing wrong with new love and there is nothing wrong with grief, but both can become idols to which we bow. They need to be set in the context of a greater body of truth. Grief can be tempered with joy and marital tunnel vision can be enlarged and enriched.

Mutuality

Another reason I would encourage the return to church for weddings and funerals is to provide an easy way for fellow believers to follow the biblical admonition to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. This attitude of sharing in the joys and pains of one another does not have to be limited to a specific day, but can happen across seasons of life within the context of a local church. Again, it is perfectly possible for this to happen regardless of where the specific events take place, but there is something bonding about these events taking place within a shared space. It allows others a natural entry point into our joys and struggles. To be standing in the place where we stood when it happened makes mutuality natural.

Personal Preferences and Practical Considerations

Of course, there are practical considerations regarding family locations, number of attendees, appropriateness of church property (ie are you meeting in a local mechanic shop? Actually, that could be kinda cool…) that will always come into play. Additionally, there may be financial considerations that may affect the decision making. So file all of this under wisdom and sentiment.

A few years ago I had to bury a young man. He was pretty important to me as I had picked him up for Sunday School when he was a boy, led him to the Lord, and counseled him through various phases of life. Coming from an un-churched background and having gone through various struggles in life, his funeral – held at our church – was well attended by people that you would not normally see at church. As I conducted that service, I couldn’t help but think how different it was to invite these grieving friends and family here, to this place, where their loved one had heard the gospel and found grace and acceptance, than it would have been to go to a funeral home. Regardless of whether or not any of those folks come back (and some have!), it encourages my heart to know that when they drive by, they will remember that those who meet in that building every week loved their loved one.

I will simply conclude that my years of pastoral ministry lead me to say that when I die, I would like my funeral to happen in a church, where the gospel of Jesus Christ will be preached the following Sunday. When my children marry, I would like – circumstances permitting – to see it witnessed by the congregation among whom they were raised. Let’s bring back the weddings. Let’s bring back the funerals.

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Why Are Elders Held to A Higher Standard?

There are two issues that make this a pertinent question to ask: 1) the doctrine of the priesthood of the believer, and 2) the egalitarianism of our culture. The priesthood of the believer states that all believers share a priestly status so that no mediator outside of Christ is necessary. The protestant Reformation broke from the medieval church with its practice of class distinctions to eradicate the chasm between laity and clergy. The result was an emphasis on ministering among the people as opposed to above the people. I hold to this doctrine as true and biblical.

black and brown sheep close-up photography

The issue of egalitarianism is more cultural, more complicated, and much more dangerous. Egalitarianism is based on the concept of equality and has manifested in various ways throughout church history. Modern egalitarians, for example, do away with any requirements for church leaders to be men, promoting the view that men and women are equal. At times, egalitarianism also reigned in some sects of Christianity where there was no “leader”, but all were considered equal. This was the theology of the Quakers. Egalitarianism is complicated (but really not that complicated) because it is true that in Christ, there is no male or female, Jew or Gentile, bond or free. But this describes our fundamental relationship to God, not our function within the world God made nor within the Church God is building. There is little doubt in my mind that the modern church’s confusion over this issue is largely a result of cultural pressure, not a result of biblical clarity.

Scripture teaches that, although all believers have direct access to God and all believers share in the inheritance of Christ, the Church is a place of structure and hierarchy. “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves” (Hebrews 13:17) is an explicit declaration of this, but the concept is found throughout the New Testament. The roles/positions that God has established within the church are Pastor/Elder/Bishop (all the same thing) and Deacon. In light of the doctrine of the priesthood of the believer, why are elders held to a higher standard? Below are several reasons why, in light of the responsibility borne by elders, they must be held to a higher standard.

Those Who Represent must Reflect

Within the church all are to be growing in Christ-likeness, but not all have the same starting point, the same circumstances, or the same attributes. Saul of Tarsus came to faith with a great amount of education, zeal, and sincerity. His conversion led to a quick promotion within the church. But some come to Christ through other paths that do not lend themselves as quickly to attaining a position of leadership. Everyone is to grow, but everyone has a different starting point and pace. I think even those outside the church understand this and can appreciate the efforts a church makes to welcome those being redeemed from the effects of life altering sins – whether their own or the sins of others. But that same grace that an outsider might show to an individual within the church will not be shown to the pastor of the church. The pastor ought to know better. 

1Ti 3:7  "Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. "

To those who are outside the church, the pastor is the one who should most embody the character of Christ. In other words, the pastor is the one held responsible for reflecting Christ to the community, therefore the pastor/elder must be held to a higher standard.

Those Who Protect must be Strong

One of the functions of the elders is to 

Act 20:28  Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. 
Act 20:29  For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. 
Act 20:30  Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. 
Act 20:31  Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears. 

The responsibility to guard the flock against false teachers is a serious business that requires strength. The elder has to know the Word well enough to spot false teaching, and judging by the content of many Christian best-sellers this is a rare quality. The elder must also not be afraid to confront, ask difficult questions, and make difficult decisions. The distinction between a worthy pastor and an unworthy pastor is described in Scripture as the difference between a shepherd and a hireling. The shepherd risks all for the sake of the sheep, while the hireling runs when there is trouble.

Those Who Restore Must be Spiritual

In the course of ministry, the elder will have to restore a fellow believer who has been overwhelmed by sin. Scripture specifically calls those who are “spiritual” to this task, in contrast to the one who is carnal. The reason for this necessity is that when pulling someone out of a ditch, it is not helpful to get pulled into the ditch. But gravity tends to work that way. 

Gal 6:1  Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 

It takes a grounded individual to enter into the sinful circumstances of another and not be drawn himself into sin. It takes wisdom to address the various aspects of life that have been affected by personal sin. It takes persistent love to lead someone away from their sin and into the light. It takes patience to teach a saint that is overwhelmed how to bear their own burden.

Those Who Lead Must Be Ahead

In the New Testament, Paul the apostle presents an audacious challenge for the saints
“to be followers of me” (1 Corinthians 4:16, Philippians 3:17). As one who began pastoring at a young age, I have had the uncomfortable experience of knowing that certain of my flock (not all, mind you) were farther ahead in their sanctification than I. Of course, being farther ahead than I, they were often the most patient and kind.

It’s not a necessity that the pastor be the most spiritual person in the church, but it’s definitely a problem if he is not numbered among those who are. How can one teach what one does not know? How can one model behavior to which one has not attained? There is no such thing as leading from behind. The very qualifications of the elder require that he exhibit spiritual maturity.

The One Who Labors Must Give an Account

A surprising feature of God’s dealing with men is how frequently God leaves it up to them to take what He has bestowed and do something with it. He appears in brief and startling ways throughout redemptive history, and then seems to retreat to allow His followers to carry on the work. If a pastor does not teach well (apt to teach), then his congregation will not learn. Perhaps that’s a little too simplistic and stark, but it has all the advantage of being generally true. God expects His servants to do their jobs well so that the work of the Lord can be established. One day God will demand an account of your ministry, and those who built with wood, hay, and stubble will see their reward vanish while those who build with gold, silver, and precious jewels will see their work shine.

Conclusion

There persists the problem of a “super Christian” vs “normal Christian” dichotomy in the Church today, which is wrong and needs corrected. The normal Christian life is a life of growth into Christ-likeness, and those with the mentality of “sure, but he’s the pastor” are ignorant of their calling in Christ. We are all meant to grow up in Him. Nevertheless, the requirements for those called to exercise spiritual authority in the church limit such positions to the ones who exhibit spiritual maturity and the character necessary to perform the functions of eldership.

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Resources for Laymen

A friend recently asked me to post some resources I would recommend for laymen in leadership position in the church. Essentially, those who are doing or assisting in the shepherding of the body but who also work full time and may not get the opportunity to “deep dive”, take seminary courses, etc… I thought it was not only a great question, but an excuse to write. Any excuse will suffice. The headings below represent a subject that is pertinent to those in these kinds of situations, and then underneath that is a suggestion or two of a book/resource that addresses that subject. Feel free to leave any of your own recommendations in the comments.

books on bookshelf

Scripture

You may think this should go without saying, but the Bible should be your primary source for all that you do. I cannot tell you the number of conversations I have overheard where all sorts of authors were quoted, except the guys who wrote the Bible. When my dad was young, he worked for this pastor who read one entire gospel and the rest of the New Testament daily. Nothing beats knowing the Word. Nothing.

Theology

Your ministry will not rise above your worship of God. Furthermore, a right knowledge of God will cover a multitude of ministry errors. If you get God “right”, it’s a lot harder to mess everything else up. Conversely, a failure to properly understand the God you serve will result in a lot of pain and loss. So above all else, think rightly about God.

My first recommendation for this s Knowing God, by JI Packer. For a thorough and yet readable text on the nature and character of God, I don’t think anything else is its equal. Published in 1973, I doubt anyone would have predicted that a straightforward teaching of theology would become a best-seller. But it did, because nothing is more interesting than God. Along with the book, invest in the study guide and get a small group together to work through it.

My second recommendation is Michael Reeves’ Delighting in the Trinity. The tri-une nature of our God is what so often distinguishes Him from other fancies of mankind, and yet it is an often neglected doctrine. This short book is well worth spending some time reading.

Sanctification/Discipleship

If you are a leader in your church, you really need some kind of understanding of progressive sanctification, which may also fall under the name of discipleship, growth in Christ-likeness, etc… Whatever term you use, your job is to help people walk through life in such a way that they reflect Christ and become more like Him. Soon after my own conversion, I was given Watchman Nee’s The Life that Wins. While I have come to disagree with him in some key areas, I will always be grateful that this little book challenged me to seriously deal with sin in my life in such a way that Christ would be glorified.

One type of resource you might use is a book like How Does Sanctification Work, by David Powlison. David was a leader in the biblical counseling movement and had spent a lifetime listening and helping people. This books really shows the diverse ways that God uses to bring His children into conformity to the image of Christ.

But another type of book you might choose is a book that challenges you to be holy, and I can think of no better one than Jerry Bridge’s The Pursuit of Holiness. It’s been a while since I read this book, but just thinking about it makes me want to re-read it.

Ecclesiology / Practical Church Ministry

As someone who is leading in the church, it would behoove you to know more about the church. If you go to a Christian bookstore, you will find a huge section of books telling you how to “do church”. There are conferences dedicated to this type of thing. I think most of them are about as useless as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

One great resource for this type of thing is 9Marks. This organization exists to equip church leaders with a biblical vision for building the church. They have a quarterly journal with great articles, they have books, study guides, podcasts, and all that good jazz. No bad jazz there. Just the good stuff.

One other book I might mention is The Trellis and the Vine, from Matthias Media. I think Matthias puts out good stuff in general, but this may be (to date) their most impactful book from the standpoint of helping churches develop a biblical ministry mindset.

Apologetics

One of your responsibilities as a leader in the church will be to interact with visitors and unbelievers. You should be able to articulate the gospel and answer some basic objections that people might have. There are entire ministries dedicated to apologetics, but it isn’t necessary to become an expert on creationism or post-modernism or anything else. I would find a book that shows you how to present the gospel well. My advice for that is CS Lewis’s Mere Christianity. My favorite is Orthodoxy, by GK Chesterton, but Lewis is more accessible and the issues he addresses still pertinent today.

Church History

If I could teach a course at Bible College, I might request to teach this one. Since graduating from college, I have spent a lot of time education myself on the great characters of church history. As you study church history, you are studying theology, evangelism, God’s providence over time, etc… A good start is Bruce Shelley’s Church History in Plain Language.

Fuel

Sometimes you just need fuel. I confess that I sometimes read just for enjoyment and never feel guilty about it. The believer is to fight with joy. I am fueled by various authors and genres, from theology by puritans (although this is rare) to satires by Doug WIlson to absolutely anything GK Chesterton ever wrote about anything. Sometimes biographies are what I crave. Other times I go back and read Tolkien for the 100th time. Find what fuels your heart and makes you love God more. If you pick something by Joel Olsteen…just get out of the ministry.

Greek

Here’s my advice: if you have a limited amount of time, don’t use it learning Greek (or Hebrew) unless you have some very significant interest. The odds are you will not learn it well enough to do any good with it. But that’s just my opinion.

Conclusion

There you have it, my friend. The only additional comment I would make is that I purchase the vast majority of my books on my Kindle, which saves a ton of money and space. The best place to find Kindle deals on Christian books is here, where a guy named Tim Challies collects deals every deal. For example, at the top of his list today is Knowing God. Sounds like Providence, to me.

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I Love Your Body

On a warm Spring day, you laid a blanket on the grass and met me with a picnic basket on my lunch break. There, in front of our first house, you told me that we were expecting our first child. When summer had faded into Fall and and Fall had frozen over into winter, I joined the fraternity of fathers. We took our firstborn home in January. I had driven through blizzards in perfect equanimity, but now the bundled up product of our love in the backseat had transformed every potential patch of ice to a mortal peril in my mind and the twenty minutes home were the capstone on a mentally exhausting weekend. Our world of two had expanded, and I was learning to catch up.

Her birth happened so fast the doctor barely had time to get into the delivery room. I remember the intensity of the moment: thinking that I was going to have to deliver my baby if the doctor didn’t hurry up, looking down when it was over to see you looking up at me and saying, “I could do that again”. In short, you owned that delivery. I say all of that to make the point that as traumatic as that was on your body, it happened too quickly to notice. Fast forward a few months to Friday evening, May 9th. Some strange and intensifying pains had plagued you for a couple days. It was after 11PM, and I just knew your appendix was going to explode. We left our sleeping child in a crib and passed the emergency babysitting crew (aka Nana and Papa) at the end of the block. The ER was packed. Of course it was packed. They shoved us in a room somewhere in the back for seven hours.

A nurse thought a kidney stone. Apparently I don’t know where the appendix is located in the human body, so that was out. The ER doctor came in to tell us, “This is over my head.” What?!? “Then why are you an ER doctor?” I screamed in my mind. Medication wasn’t diminishing the pain, and after pushing a human being out of your body just months before sans drugs I knew you could handle pain. Meanwhile, an emergency trip to check on the daughter was required, and by the time I got back to the hospital words like “mass” had been thrown around, and we aren’t Catholic.

I remember them wheeling you back into surgery. It was a Saturday, so there was no one in the surgery waiting room. Just me and reruns on the TV. A friend stopped by to sit with me for a while and pray with me. Some time later, you were out of surgery. Out of danger. I still remember the name of the surgeon: John Williams. I forget the name of my own kids, but his name I remember. That was your first surgery. Your first scar. You spent your first Mother’s Day as a mom at the hospital, and your daughter and I came to visit. Seven years later, we’ve been back to that same hospital for two more surgeries and three more children. They should name a wing after you. Wait, forget that. Let’s see if they have a “free fifth kid” policy of some sort.

I think that most relationships in the modern West start with physical attraction. Or I should say that physical attraction is a significant part of it. It might be possible to push through a time of being physically un-attracted to someone and see if it developed, but most people would probably give up and move on to someone else. I think it would be fair to say that, towards the beginning of a relationship, most men love women for their bodies.

If this condition were to persist, the relationship is bound to fail because our bodies are destined to change. “Rejoice in the wife of your youth!” is the biblical admonition. But the wife of your youth becomes the wife of your middle age and then the wife of your old age. And if you love your wife for her body, then your love is bound to wane.

But something has happened over these eleven years of marriage. I do not love you for your body. I love your body for you.

I’m losing count of how many times I have held your hand as you laid in a hospital bed. You have laid down your body four times so that we could bring new life into this world. Your body has been the vehicle by which a thousand daily ministrations have taken place. How could I not love your body? It houses and expresses you, my beloved and my darling.

There is something juvenile about a married man who expends his mental energy lusting for youth, even if it is his wife’s youth. I do not say it is not understandable, but it is juvenile all the same. Such a man may ogle girls who could be his daughter’s age and probably has yoked himself to the bondage of pornography, where his appetites have gotten stuck like a needle on a tachometer than refuses to rise to its rightful level. I’m not sure which is the greater sin: the adultery that he commits in his heart, or the ingratitude that he shows to the woman in his bedroom who bears his name. If he could ever learn to love her, then her body would be lovely to him. But alas, he is too much a fool to realize that any sense of injustice at being limited to enjoying only one woman’s body should be vastly outweighed by the cosmic miracle that he does in fact, get to enjoy one woman’s body. His love for his wife’s body has never turned into a genuine love for her, and now he is impotent to love her body.

I write all of this in the great Christian tradition of incarnate love. Eros is our servant, not our master. If it is true that the highest call of marriage is to picture Christ and the Church, then I maintain that this principle is Christian down to its core. For does not our Lord love the Church that lays down its life for Him? Does he not treasure even more deeply those who suffer for His Name’s sake? Is not the body made more beautiful to Him in service? He treasures every scar, as does any husband who loves his wife. This theme, then, is not unique to the shrine of our love. This is the current in which all lovers swim. This is how Christian men feel about their wives through child bearing, age, chemo, mastectomies, surgeries, and untold other seasons of change.

So, wife of my youth, I do not fear your body changing. I do not worry that you will one day get grey hair. I am supremely unconcerned about wrinkles. Whatever signs of age come, you will have earned along this journey we have undertaken together. You are the most beautiful woman I know because you belong to me. This possessiveness is neither narrow nor wicked. “I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine.” (Song of Solomon 6:3) This is love. And all the sons of God said “Amen”.

Bring on the Babies

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There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias,

Luke 1:5

How has the world changed since the days of Herod, the king of Judaea? If we lived in that day and age we would be hard tasked to draw our water from a well instead of the twist of a faucet, or endure the cold and heat instead of adjusting the thermostat. But our ancestors did not know what they were missing, just as we are unaware of what our descendants will consider intolerable about our own time. It was neither the technological differences nor the geopolitical landscape that marks the real difference between today and the days of Herod, king of Judaea; it was the absence of hope.

“Thou hast conquered, O pale Galilean; the world has grown grey from thy breath” accused Swinburne, but he was a fool, for the world never was darker than before the Messiah came. We so often live without regard to the difference Christ has made in the world that it is difficult to fathom the burden of living without His presence in History. Imagine December 25th without Christmas. That’s what you are taking away from every day of the year if Christ had not redeemed the days and turned every revolution around the sun into the “Year of our Lord.”

The calendar is appropriately divided by the birth of our Lord, and what good news that the pagan past had come to an end. “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent.” Paganism, with all of its color and festivities, was itself growing pale the farther it was removed from Eden. Pale and bent and wicked. A great door was swinging shut on that ancient world. But what vistas were revealed as that same door opened on a new era, appropriately called the New Covenant: a time when Atonement sufficient for the sins of the world would be available and the New Adam would guide our feet in the path of peace.

What kind of personages could be sufficient to see our past to the door while ushering in the Age of Grace? Strange a man as he would become, the baby named John was the first. It was foretold that he would turn the hearts of the fathers to their sons and the hearts of their sons to their fathers. An apt prophecy, for the second baby is the Eternal Son coming in the fullness of the Spirit to live in joy under the authority of the Eternal Father. This is the Tri-une love from whence our world sprang and then was lost. But when the hearts of fathers and sons are once again inclined towards each other, earth shall once again reflect heaven. These two babies were the hinges upon which that great door of history swung shut to the past and open to the future.

When Elizabeth discovered she was with child, she declared that the Lord had taken away her reproach. Barrenness in the ancient world was a reproach. But it is not an overstatement to say that our world discourages child-bearing. Whether in politics or healthcare or social justice, the question always revolves around how NOT to have babies, or the terrible problem caused by all of these babies. But God sees children as a blessing and not a curse. God is a God of fecundity and not of barrenness. Just as we bring forth and nourish our children in the hope that one day they will take up the responsibility of fighting for mankind, so God brought His Son into the world that He might shoulder the weight of the world. Children are our hope. So bring on the babies!

Should You Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

First, let me congratulate you on getting married. It really is the thing that grown-ups do. To be a husband or a wife is more than being a “partner”: it’s entering into a covenant relationship whereby you submit your own personal feelings, happiness, and choices to this greater commitment that you have made. And should you keep that commitment, you will be a better human being for it.

But now the wedding is approaching and you’re starting to get into the details of the ceremony. The question arises: should we write our own vows? This has become quite the thing to do, with estimates (there probably aren’t super reliable statistics on something like this) being that around half of couples deciding to write their own vows. I want to say: don’t do it.

I will grant from the outset that the modern wedding format is not intrinsically sacred nor required.  One does not need to honor every tradition, and if one chose to do so it would be a long wedding. A wedding is meant to publicly declare the commitment a man and woman make to one another in a way that is culturally understandable. Jewish, Indian, and Mexican weddings all vary in their customs, moods, and duration – and this is a good thing. So I don’t want to pretend that there is a specifically “Christian” way of organizing a wedding to which everyone must conform. Having said that, if you are reading this in English and are a descendant of Western Christendom, then I think you should use the traditional vows.

Wedding vows date back to the middle of the 16th century and the Book of Common Prayer. Various Christian traditions exist and there have been modifications over time. The concepts behind the vows stem from a traditional Christian understanding of marriage, but the words themselves do not flow verbatim from the texts of Scripture. So again, there is no violation of a biblical mandate if these words are not used.

But if you want to have a successful marriage, then you had better understand what you’re getting into. Marriage isn’t about your personal happiness. Marriage isn’t about how you feel today. Marriage is a commitment involving children, property, dinner, church, loss, sorrows, joys, and a million other things that you will encounter together in the relentless flow of time. You are pledging to remain faithful and loyal to your spouse even if you change, or they change, or the world changes. Marriage is leaving individualism far behind. Marriage is for the days of plenty and the days of lack. Marriage is for the good times and the bad.  

If you start that journey off by trying to define your relationship with this other human being in terms that reflect a personal, subjective, and mutable commitment, I say that you are not getting off on the right foot. The glory of the vows is that they represent something outside of the individuals getting married. If you want to tell your spouse how you feel, then by all means write it in a card or a poem or a song. But if you want to enter into that glorious institution of marriage, then make the pledge that your fathers and grandfathers and great-grandfathers (or mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers) made. The whole purpose of marriage is negated if marriage becomes subject to your own definitions. The glory of marriage is that it is larger than you and outside of your control.

If you want to define the nature of your relationship, then your marriage will always be contingent upon you. Your feelings: which will change.  Your concepts of personal fulfillment: which will change. You get the picture. The only way to start off a marriage on the right foot is by acknowledging that marriage itself is something above you. It is beyond your ken. You will one day complain that you didn’t know what you were getting into. Right. Now you’re onto something. But knowing that you didn’t know what you were getting into, you pledged that you would experience that journey with this other person: handcuffed together for life. And don’t worry, you won’t have too much time to think about it if you’re making babies and raising babies and feeding babies. And by that time, you’ll start to understand the joy and glory of submitting yourself to a standard high above your personal feelings. So use the vows. Enter into the glorious mystery, the cosmic wonder, and the ancient practical joke that is marriage.

Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.